I’m hungry!!! But I have to tell you, Paula, that this recipe is identical to one passed down to me from a beloved aunt (a definite Southerner.) Actually, hers doubles the amounts of everything, but it’s exactly the same. And guess what? She made it with peaches! In fact, I never really thought of making it any other way until now. The difference was that she would use canned peaches rather than fresh – maybe that changed the consistency enough to eliminate the doughy parts? No idea. She liked to put it in the oven when she served dinner, and it would be ready with no fuss for dessert in half an hour or so – WITH ice cream on top, of course. Thanks for the lovely reminder of her – she passed away just a couple of months ago. My mom (her sister) makes this frequently for potlucks and such – always a hit.

This is a great story of perseverance. You had a plan B and it was not needed. You are truly a farm girl. Good job

I make the same cobbler. : ) And have for years. But I double the ingredients for a 9 x 13 pan. Spray pan with baking spray so edges don’t stick. I use canned sliced peaches when fresh are not in season. My cobbler isn’t doughy, but has a little white showing. : ) It is the charm of the cobbler. It is sooo good hot with or without ice cream!!! Good job!!!

Sounds SUPER summery and yummy! Thanks for sharing!

these theories and tips are fascinating, thx!

Being a baker….and making lots of cobblers….I would say just make sure your ingredients are set out before baking, not quite room temp but not right out of the fridge, especially when you are melting butter and then putting "cold" milk on top it may seize the butter and give you "clumps" of dough….consisting of butter , flour, milk etc… anyway, most cobblers will have whitish spots, but not doughy spots…. don’t over bake either. it will make it dry.
remember baking is a science always follow the recipe, cooking is the art….:) have fun with it!

LOL, I once through away a pumpkin cake for it didn’t look like the one in the picture of a magazine I took it from! My mom was upset I tossed it…LOL! I was young, wouldn’t do that now! This Michigander would call what you said was apple cobbler I would call it apple crisp, or blue berry or peach crisp what ever fruit I have on hand. Funny how we give almost the same thing different names. But your peach cobbler looks yummy.

Love your cobbler, looks tasty. But what really caught my eye was your beautiful baking dish. I only have ugly Corning Ware.

I know I am alittle behind…..but someone just gave my fresh jersey peaches…and this was my first thought.."now I can make that southern fruit cobbler"..so i will let you know how it turns out..thanks Paula for sharing this receipe

Hi,
Enjoyed your story. I just wanted you to know that I am a South Carolina girl and my grandmother, mother and me have all made cobbler similar to yours. We double your recipe and use self rising flour with no baking powder. It is a tradition in our family with any fruit. You are a wonderful writer…Dolly

"My problem is that I am a slipshod follower of recipes and a hopeless improviser"
Oh my goodness, when I read that it was like I had found someone who understood my dirty little secret. You just put it into words for all of us like you. I just cant leave a recipe alone. Especially once I have made it right. I feel like I’ve "been-there-done-that" and it gives me license to mess with it. This is not always a good thing. God bless my patient family who will eat it anyway. Thank you for your honest article!

You said you doubled the recipe for the size you were making instead of the 8×8 the recipe called for. Please tell me if the measurements given 1/4 c butter, 1/2 cup flour, 1/2 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder and 1/2 c milk are the amounts for the regular 8×8 size or the doubled size ? ? ? ?
I can’t wait to make !

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I moved from Indiana to Michigan when I was married shortly after graduating from high school. Left all my family behind including the cousins. It is a six hour drive one way to the area I was raised and it is a chore to visit siblings and parents in the couple of trips I take each year. Sometimes only one. So when I got to go to a ladies only yearly family reunion a couple of years ago it was a blessing. Most of the cousins I had not seen for close to 30 years and I had to get re-acquainted with all of them. It was great!

Hi Paula,
Enjoyed your reminiscing about your cousins. My sisters and I try to keep in touch with our cousins.It is not easy,since they are all scattered across the country.
Thanks for the great feature, I look forward to your next one.
Marilyn

Hi again, Paula,

My husband and I just returned home after driving over 800 miles, 2 days one direction, to attend a family reunion in Missoula, Mt. Nearly all surviving cousins made it, even though we are scattered in California, Idaho, New Mexico, Nevada, N. Dakoda, Arizona and Montana. What a joy to connect to some I had not seen for nearly 50 years. As we are aging ourselves, we are well aware of fleeting time and grabbing an opportunity to connect and gather while we have the health to do so. How were we to know that 3 of us would be taken early, one only a year ago? Through laughter and tears, we poured over photos, re-lived memories and made new ones. It’s so worth the effort!

"It’s kind of fun to do the impossible." –Walt Disney

Bonnie

How ironic that you wrote about cousins today, this upcoming weekend is our annual cousins weekend.
There are 5 of us girls, stair stepped in age, that have made it a point to get together the 3rd weekend in July. Just us, no kids or spouses. We choose a different location every year. sometimes, shopping in the city, sometimes a resort town along the shores of Lake Michigan.
we grew up within a mile of each other, attended the same schools, spent every holiday together, camping trips, and our birthdays were always celebrated with them unitl we started to drive and get part-time jobs.
We have only been doing this for the last 4 years,and also get together other times of the year, even without the family weddings and funerals. We realize we share so much of our lives together and those moments make us who we are today.

Hi Paula!
What a cute post…You have a memory like a steel trap! One filled with such special memories… I think there is an ART to that! You’ve jogged mine back to special holidays spent with my cousins too! I had plenty on both sides of my family and when I think back on the times we spent together as kids, my ears ring with laughter! As an adult, I was able to keep up with some of my cousins that stayed local because I was also their hairdresser!
Now we are " faraways " too, but I have wonderful memories of times with them as a youngter and as " grownups"…Like you and so many people we stay connected with email and the occasional phone call in between a visit in person!

Thanks for reminding me of those happy times….

Now, here’s an addendum to your last post titled SCREEN QUEEN! We did it! In true farmgirl make-do fashion we set up our new SCREENED Garden Gazebo on our west facing deck last week to beat this Hot and Humid New England heat! We’ve been ejoying it so so so much! Morning coffee and breakfast,cool late evening family candle lit dinner’s and even a late night game of cards by the light of a karosene lantern…We decided to just use what we had, our orignal round table and chairs, complete with a colorful table cloth made for indoor/outdoor use. We gathered lanterns from other rooms inside and now we’re on the lookout for an outdoor chandelier to hang from the center post. I’m inspired by the one in Mary Janes Farm made from a thrify old lamp shade frame… We’ll see? This farmgirl isn’t all that patient sometimes, and it’s high summer… I may just purchase one and enjoy a little instant gratification with some candle light to boot!

Happy Summer and thanks for the memories and inspirations too!

Deb~

Wow! Love the porch, would suit me well, since the mozzies seem to find me too.
Wouldn’t worry about the rug unless the kids like to sit on the floor, or maybe add it when the weather begins to cool a little.
Maybe a pot plant or two in the corners, but wouldn’t add to much, having it very casual is the major appeal here and certainly usuage.
Love all the pics, it is nice to have a snap shot into your life. Makes me feel very much a part of it.
I’m glad you’re settling in so well.
Congratulations on making this gem a wonderful home for yourself and your family.
Would love to have something similiar for myself, but will have to stay where I am for a while yet.
Have a wonderful week.
Obviously the weather is warm for you, it’s freezing here – not snow weather for us, but then again its not supposed to snow where I am
Cheers x

Paula: What a fantastic porch! That was one of the first things on our list of what we wanted for our house. I grew up with porches; one in the east side of the house and one on the west side. So we could go to either whenever the sun got too hot. We had antique wicker furniture. Now my porch on the north side doubles as a bonsai holding area in the winter and when the trees are moved outside it becomes a screened in summer porch. I also had a porch swing like we had on the farm. Enjoy! Bonnie

Oh my word!!! What an AWESOME back porch! We are in the planning stages of our next phase of simple living life in Northeast Texas and a screened porch is HIGH on the list of wants!

I love the pics – thanks for sharing!I look forward to seeing more!

You’ve triggered some great memories! As a kid growing up in the midwest, I was jealous of my aunt’s house because it had a SCREEN PORCH. All the cousins would sleep out there on summer nights and it didn’t matter how sandy we were from swimming in the lake. Normal rules of hygiene and bedtimes didn’t apply on the screen porch. Lucky you!

Hi everyone,

This was a great blog..brought back some great memories. I have been blessed in my life to have lived in homes with either a front porch, back deck or both. Right now, I have both but neither is screened. My son gave me a screened gazebo which its right off the back(unfinished)deck. Even when its hot outside, I try to sit in there as much as possible. Reading, cup or glass of tea on the table, texting, paying DS…I will be moving the gazebo up onto the deck, hopefully soon. But I truely love it, anytime of the day, any day of the week…If I am not in the house, you can find me outside…Thanks again for sharing and I am really happy things are working out so well for you & your girls…New Farmgirl Member #1754 :->

I love my screen back porch. Right now it’s raining and it has a metal roof, the sound makes me want to fall asleep. But it faces west and in Florida, that makes for a very hot afternoon, but the mornings are divine. I have a porch swing, table & chairs and hutch. No better place for breakfast and coffee! I am so glad you and your family are enjoying your porch, it is an iconic reminder of summer and fanily time.

Ok, that’s it. You sealed the plans for my own porch. I was undecided about screen. We’re just now making headway on the mudroom…and the porch will follow. Screen…the new Must Have. Thanks for the perfect post for what we’re doing right now. Your porch is divine. I can see why so many hours will be spent there.

Its great to see your new life forming up so nicely. What a godsend that you found such a nice house in the location you wanted. Good For You.
Shery J

How wonderful for you. We had a sun porch at our previous home. There was a couple of windows with screens that let in a nice breeze when we sat on it. We had a small table and chairs but it was not large enough for the nice couch you have on yours. It looks like you have everything already to make you comfortable. Maybe a radio/CD player to listen to your favs or a nice book on CD. Very nice. Here in Michigan it is suppose to be 90 tomorrow on the 4th. We may just melt…Have a wonderful holiday!

So happy you love your screened in porch…you know we grew up with one and then had one at our house which I always loved! One suggestion I would make is a water feature – either outside or inside…I always found the sound of running water very soothing when sitting there protected from the mossies, wasps, moths, etc but loving the breeze and trees (reminds me to suggest a few wind chimes as well).

Glad you love your new house! It’s been hot here in England as well (but not quite as hot as there) and I have missed having some outdoor haven like a screened porch – our tiny balcony doesn’t quite do it!

Paula, my son and daughter in law live in North Carolina too and they also have a screened in porch. When we visit there we love to sit and chat in this room listening to the cicadas sing their goodnight song. I think less is better because friends and family visiting fill the whole area with their laughter and love — that is what you will see and feel when you sit out there — the comfy things are nice and a few are needed — but you will always hear and see the get togethers of times past. Have fun and dream in your new "nest".

Hi,
I’m a new Mary Jane Farmgirl member, who is looking to move to North Carolina. Hope I get lucky enough to get a porch, if not already screened in, then I’ll happily screen it.
The cats would LOVE it.
Your’s is HUGE and wonderful with trees all around. You are lucky indeed.

i am so happy to read your blog this morning. Last year i had my 98 year old house painted and a screened in porch added to the back. It looks just like it is original to the house. I am so happy with it, as are my dachshunds and Sheltie. The one thing that has really helped during the summer in Texas is the ceiling fan! It makes the mornings and nights bearable. The 100 degree plus temps make the days on the porch uninhabitable even with the fan. Enjoy your porch. I love mine.

I think I go through phases of both…if that’s possible. I have times when I go on whirlwind de-cluttering sprees and want to contain everything (I, too, use things for purposes which they were never meant – such as cigar boxes for TV remotes) Then other times, I find calm in the coziness of my treasures – the plates on the wall, the colored glass in my kitchen window sill, my random boxes of crafting debris, the haphazard blankets on the backs of couches. All in all, I would put myself on the fence between both categories of decorating style. My house is not overly "put-together", but it’s home! And the biggest compliments to me are the ones that come from friends when they say they feel "at home" when they come into my house.

I think that I’m a bit of both CC and PE..I like cozy clutter, but there are certain parts of the house where everything has to be in it’s place. I’m still trying to "decorate" my home and I don’t know what my style is…I just know that I like anything Victorian, rusting, country, romantic, vintage etc…and if it fits in one of those categories I’ll add it to my home 🙂 :)I loved your photos and those bargains you found. Those are fantastic!!!!

My little house is a 1930’s fishing camp beside a beautiful river in NH. The house evolved to a year-round home with a deck and a wide river view. There were never enough closets. But time has taken its toll and the living room wing needed a new roof. I am amazed at how much stuff had to be relocated during the reconstruction project.
I’d have to say I’ve gone from Cozy Comfort to Total Chaos. When the roof is done, the carpet pulled up and replaced with bamboo flooring and the dust has settled, I promised myself (at least in the new living room) there will be NO MORE CLUTTER. I will have graduated to PE.

Hi Paula,

I enjoyed your post. It sounds like you are doing quite well!
I recently moved and after being a CC for many years, decluttering was such an emotional journey that I believe it turned me into a PE!!! (Only time will tell though right?)
Your new house looks lovely!
Enjoy the journey.

Tammie

We must all have some of each in us! Parts of me are CC and some PE. Wouldn’t I love to be PE! I am always trying. I used to be PE, but after a year of being sick I seem to have turned into CC, trying to get back to PE now that I am finally well. For some of us, our brains really function better in an organized space.

Ooooh, I love that wicker sofa! Wonderful find.

I am both, my whole house is PE, except my bedroom, it is major CC. Love the wicker sofa, I have always wanted one, but don’t have a porch screened or not. I have to small patio’s which I layed the blocks myself and I use one of those small spools for a table, you know the kind that wire is wrapped around. Also love that little wooden table and chairs in front of the bow window. Enjoy your new place, and finding your own style! I didn’t realize my own style till I had my own place also.

sounds like our consensus is, whether CC or PE, what matters is that it feels homey! (:

Hey Paula
Good to see/hear your move is done. Looks like you’re settling in well.
Love the homey feel your new place gives.
Fantastic find with the wicker lounge – your instinct was right on target.
I was a CC but now am a PE -helps on the sanity front when life is so full on. I am in a real declutter mode at the moment too – not sure why but soul cleansing.
I tend to change accessory colours depending on the time of year too and re use things for things other than their original intended purpose.
Currently I’m into the colour orange, never really went for it before – I know it’s been your favourite colour for forever, but has become mine – maybe since its such a warm colour and winters now here so warm colours make me feel warm and cosy too.
love reading your blog
Thanks

I am definitely a PE girl though this is not always obvious to my partner, Kevin, (who is much more precise)…prowling the house at night to put things back in their places is something that really resonates for me! Right now, I tend to have more general places for everything since my flat is so tiny but, I know that over time (and at K’s urging), everything will find its place and all will be right with the world!

I think I’m a PE with slight leanings to CC. I was looking at a magazine today and thought, "Oh, that room is so pretty." Then I realized that even though the children of the homeowner were pictured eating popsicles in the den, there was not one personal touch to the room. No family photos, no collections of shells or rocks, no books with titles showing. I do believe that some order is essential, and I have a husband that proves that clutter can be orderly, but despite HGTV and shelter magazine photos, a home is made to be lived in and loved in. We need to keep the pictures our children colored on the refrigerator, the worn-out-from-use throw on the back of the couch, and the muddy shoes by the back door or under the coffee table, and we need to be grateful for all the things connected to these "treasures," even the muddy shoes.

Happy new home!

Well this took me back a few years…just a few. My Aunt made me Holly Hobby style dolls that were hung on my walls. and my Mom made a Holly Hobby quilt for my bed. Yes, I am right there with you.

I love Holly Hobbie! I think she may be making a comeback since I saw some really pretty blue HH fabric in a fabric store, just love it! Brought back memories!

I loved Holly Hobby…. I had a purse that had a pocket on the outside and a little Holly doll fit in the pocket. It was that same color blue, with the pretty little flowers. I wish my little girl had toys that were that cute and not the truly ugly dolls and toys she has…. wish Holly would make a comeback!

Paula, How fun! Yeppers, I’m STILL a Hollie Hobbie girl…at age 54. Do you have her ‘life story’ book? It is excellent, it tells of Holly’s life as a young artistic mother trying to make ends meet. Lots of illustrations, naturally. Her later watercolor art is more ‘sophisticated’ and just beautiful. There is also a self portrait in the book. If you don’t have it, treat yourself. I bet you could find it with a little online sluething.

I was in high school listening to John Denver and loving anything Holly Hobbie. I always loved being a nature girl and HH’s artwork spoke to my inner child that never outgrew ‘wonderment’. I made a series of decopage HH images from Hallmark cards for my mother…glued them onto barnwood. She still has them I’m sure. Thank you for the warm memory reminder. P.S. You look great in a bonnet, by the way :o)

Shery J

Oh this just brought back so many memories for me and I still Love HH. I made all manner of things HH for my daughter and my little sister. I found a few things I had put away for my daughter not to long ago and she took them for her daughters room. Think I’m going to go look for all those fun patterns and revive some fun stuff. Thanks for your memories!

Holly Hobbie is so iconic of my childhood as well, my best girlfriend in 1st grade (we are still best friends 30+ years later!) and I both had HH lunchpails..the old metal kind with the raised "impressions". Some years ago I became nostalgic for HH and on ebay I found a dinner bell which to this day remains proudly displayed in my china hutch 🙂

I have a Holly Hobbie rag doll. Do you remember her friend Heather? I have her too. Glad I’m not the only one. I also have all the Little House Books, including the cookbook. My daughters and I made many of their recipes. Now, I’m hoping to do the same with my granddaughter. Love your column!

Wonderful memories. My sister (6 years younger) and I both loved Holly Hobbie. After I was married, my husband found a Holly Hobbie thermos, which I proudly carried to work with me (containing the previous evenings dinner leftovers). I still have it.
Thanks for sharing.
Jo

I just love HH too. I collected plates, eggs (remeber those) and stitchery. I said the first grandchild to be a girl could have them in her room. My Daughter has three boys and no girls. My Son a Daughter. To no avail did they want these in her room. BOO HOO. But I still love HH, she always brings a smile to my face! Lori

I rememer HH. I think my mom loved her more than I did. My mother passed away 8/09 and reading the blog today allows me to enjoy the wonderful memories of my special mom.

I still have all the dolls, HH, Heather, Amy and even Grandma! I also had the old fashioned sewing machine. I also hang a Christmas ornament every year that is HH and it brings back a lot of memories!

It wasn’t until recently that I discovered HH. She came into the picture while I was raising two boys. I grew up in the country and she reminds me of all the good times. I sewed a pinafore in junior high made of eyelet–everyone else was wearing polyester! I’ve started collecting HH-
I have a plate and a candy dish so far.

Isn’t this fun that she resonated with so many of us! Someone asked via whisper comment if I still have patterns — alas, the embroidery designs and the clothes were made by my mom and I never had patterns (not that I could make them like her!) …knowing her she probably just copied the embroidery.

Hi Paula, My twin sister, Marion and I are still big Holly Hobbie fans. We have several of the dolls and other items that were available at the height of Holly’s popularity.
Holly Hobbie is still a winner with us!
Marilyn

What great memories. I still have my Holly Hobbie doll and also my Betsy Clark..remember her? Both of them sat on my bed every morning after it was made.

I’m 37 and I love Holly Hobbie, too. I have that same embroidered HH on your pillow, a pair of them actually, framed from my childhood and hanging on the wall of my guest room. Still love looking at them. It would be fun to have the pattern, I suppose I can find it online. Thanks for sharing! Have the Best Day Ever!

WOW this has certainly brought back all the feelings of childhood, and memories of my mom making me Holly Hobbie embroidered , framed pictures, and the HH lunch box, the old tin ne I had, and the watch I had. I no longer have my mom with me, she passed a couple of years back, but everytime I think of my childhood it is of living in our farmhouse, canning, sewing, and on cold winters nights with no TV in the house, watching or helping my mom "make" special memories for her family….Thanks for sharing your special memories.

I am also in love with this little girl and always have been. I just turned 60 this month and even just yesterday I bought a patchwork scarf with the likes of a Hollie Hobbie theme on it and I shall wear it proudly with everything as it cools off. I can’t wait for fall!

I do also have several Hollie Hobbie plates and the pillowcase you have shown I got at a thrift store. I can’t give them up! She makes me feel good!

Thanks for the reminders!

Smiles, Cyndi

Hi Paula,
Congratulations on your new house. May you have many years of happiness in your new home. Enjoyed your blog on what to pack and keep as oppposed to giving or throwing away. Looking forward to reading about your settling into the colonial.
Sincerely,
Marilyn

Paula- what I forgot to mention is that all my old "stuff"-antique rugs, disco clothes, my daughters’ baby clothes, clocks, etc.etc. have made me happy thru the years when moving or going thru difficult times.Keep many things- pull them out and enjoy- they will make you happy : )

Oh definitely agree on the donate! (Books, clothes, dishes, vintage hatboxes…) Most of the throwaways/recycles are papers, papers, papers. Who knew someone in the digital age could have accumulated so many papers!

I’m definately discovering "less is more" here as I sort 20 years of clutter in order to paint walls and reclaim living space. My husband and I both collect books, which are hard for us to part with, but reality sets in eventually when we realize the overkill and hoarding going on with books already read.

I am donating or selling off all but favorite ones that might be re-read or might fulfill a bit of nostalgia corner. My husband is the big reader, so I’ve placed his Startrek shelf with just a few things like a Startrek ornament, folded emblem T-shirt and emblem ball cap. I placed the books grouped by height and general color scheme to enhance eye appeal. A shelf of a few children’s books are grouped with just a few stuffed animals and a standing bookshelf of cat mystery books is tastefully grouped with a few cat figurines and standing small photographs. A shelf of my angel books is interspersed with just a few angel things. The things I’m keeping are things we love and have somehow defined our interests or just a few keepsakes of our childhoods and special moments. I’m attempting to keep all of this to a minimum to enhance, rather than clutter and detract and help our house feel like a home. There is something comphy and inviting about one stuffed animal amoung the bed pillows and quilted bedspread, even if the kids have left.

Your yellow stuffed monkey will look and feel at home in your yellow house with turquoise shutters.

You’re a whole lot older than you Paula and I still have quilte a few of my childhood things. I treasure them and have them out in my sewing room. I think for me they connect us to pleasant memories. I have weeded through all of my things to reduce the clutter, but I still those connections. We only have two children and now they have their stuff, toys and all. I gave them all to let them choose what they want to keep. But…I have never moved from my house of 46 years. You are facing a reality I haven’t! God bless you in your choices and start fresh in that new home! Hug your kids too.

We moved a quite a few times in our first few years of marriage and then we built our own home…nothing fancy but ours. I decided then and there that I never wanted to move again. Thankfully we have never had to and we have lived here for over 30 years and counting. We have renovated, built on, made memories and added to our extended family and lost others but it’s our base. I wish you many, many years of love and happiness in your new home and may it become a place of wonderful memories for your family and someday maybe even your grandchildren!

I too have my "Miss Beasley" doll, and a doll that I bought in Germany on my first trip out of the USA (at 21 years old, believe it or not). I have been downsizing for a move and donated, yard-saled, gave away to family some things. But I also like to use "old" things to decorate and make things comfortable, so it all fits right in. I like to have things around that remind me of peaceful, pleasant, and playful times. After this one move though, I am finished moving!! So I guess now I have room for more collecting, lol! Hope you and your children enjoy your new home as it is a place for new memories to be made!

I mostly remember Pancho and Thunderbolt, and of course Misty of Chincoteague!

Oh yes, I have some things to go through, but they are my Moms things after she passed away. My Barbies sit quietly on my dresser with the origional hutch, closet and dresser and I make her an outfit here and there to relive memories.

My daughters toys and books are stored safely waiting to be unveiled in thier homes, something I gladly do for them.

Congrats on your new home and special new memories waiting to be made.

Hi Paula,

I was wondering when you would get back to blogging, but figured you must be very busy with "divorce" business. I too, am divorced after 20 years, with 3 children. Let me tell you that since then I was on my own for 4 years, did minimal dating…and for the past 14 years have been with a great guy! There is life after divorce. And a lot of it is good. I have been a grandma (meme’ to the babies) for 5 years now…and that is a huge blessing, too. I am now facing another upheaval,if my research is correct. I have been showing numerous signs of "Parkinson’s disease " the past few months, or more. I am just beginning to see a doctor for this, hope to have testing done this summer. My family is not aware of this yet, and I have been trying to figure out the best way to tell them. I am pondering having a family get together, without babies, to tell them all at once. I think that might be easier on me, and them. That way they can all discuss it with one another (this would be my daughter, sons, son-in-law & daughter in law). I would tell my fiance’ first. I am going to read Michael J Fox’s book, Always Looking UP, as I plan to push myself to do the best I can, with every obstical that gets in my way. I really don’t want my family to treat me any differently, but just to help me out a bit when I need it. I am fortunate in that the internet has been a resource that has shown me that my illness is most likely due to toxic pollutions and not genetic. The genetic form, like Michael has usually hits younger people (he was only 30)unlike myself who is 56, they say that others usually see symptoms after age 55 years. My only fear now, is the later years, and how it will affect my family. But I will push on….and for you I can only wish you good luck with all you are going thru….it does get easier, and the children do adjust after awhile. Life will get better…..all the best….O’Dell

Oh honey, I’ve been there. It is more difficult than people imagine, but you will come out of this a better person in the end.

As far as dividing, just remember it’s only stuff and not worth the energy of fighting over. I let my ex have most of the household possessions just to avoid a fight. It’s 10 years later and I don’t miss any of it. There is no winner in a divorce – not even the person who walks away with the most stuff.

Keep the lawyers out of it as much as possible. Try writing down those favorite items on slips of paper and each of you draws for them. If there is a respected friend or family member that can mediate the drawing that’s even better.

My Dear

I am going through a divorce myself, still in the trauma stages. Just looking ahead at what’s to come is overwhelming . I pray for a good outcome for both of us. This is the one of the worst things I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. Strength to us both, strength to any woman struggling with this issue. Keep the faith!

Hi Paula – I am very sorry to hear about your divorce!

It sounds like you have a pretty clear picture who’s is what for some of your possessions. For the others, why don’t you just have a sale and split half of the funds? Maybe you could use the money to buy something that really indicates a new start, such as new living room furniture?

Best of luck to you, you and your family will be in my prayers. Cindy

Hi, I’ve read the blogs before, but this is the first time I’ve responded. I’ve been divorced for 10 years after 17 years of marriage. I divorced when my daughter(who is mentally and physically disabled) was 15 and my son was 13. My ex and I fortunately stayed friends and he passed away three years ago at 56. So what have I learned? Don’t sweat over "stuff" it can all be replaced. Life is a lot easier without "stuff". What’s the most important thing is that you take care of your mental, physical, and spiritual self because that you cannot replace. If you’re in a good place and happy then your children will be happy. That’s all that really matters. My best regards with your transitioning.

As tough as it is, I would take this opportunity as a chance to redefine what is important to you and your children and what can be purged without pain from your life. Moving is traumatic enough and if the kids see your place as the one with the ‘comforts of our old home’ and his stripped of memories, it’s going to be more difficult for them to adjust and settle in when they are away from you.
Be sure to make both places comfortable for them and then go from there. Remember, that although this is difficult for you two, it was a decision made by the two of you and the kids had no say. Their lives need stability above all.
{Hugs} You can do it! :o)

Paula, I was married for 10+ years, with 3 children, and got divorced almost 4 years ago. HUGS to you. Going through this life-upheaval is so difficult. We didn’t have anything of "worth", so splitting up the belongings was fairly easy; however, my ordeal was figuring out just what "things" were the most important to me. This was a life-altering moment for me, as I realized that the "things" I had lived surrounded by were just that..THINGS. I also had to narrow everything down to the bare essentials..I was renting a minivan, loaded with my mother, myself and my 3 children to basically "escape" my life in Wisconsin to make a fresh start in California. So, what I took with us was what would fit in the van: Family photos, my personal and my grandmothers’ china, my quilts, my computer, a week’s worth of clothes for each of us (plus about 2 pairs of shoes each..not easy for a shoe-queen such as myself!). We took a few of the childrens’ favorite toys and loaded up. Before that, I gave away EVERYTHING ELSE, using Freecycle, and left my ex’s stuff there for him to deal with. Paula, it’s truly amazing what you realize you can live without, once you put the value on the people in your life instead of the "stuff". Good luck to you, dear heart.

My prayers for you and the children (and for your ex) as you go through this uneasy period. I lost "almost everything" when I divorced. I was unlucky in that "himself" burned my diaries and my photos and broke my vinyl records and took the jewelry, china and silver to the hockshop and then destroyed some quilted, croched, art pieces. However, my son and I got through it safely and I know now how STRONG it made me. Don’t sweat the small stuff! You will be fine in a little while. As pretty and sweet and kind as you seem to be, your next big problem will probably be chasing away guys from your doorstep.

Hi Paula,
I have missed your blogs as well as your column in Womans Day. Sorry to hear about your loss and all your problems. Keep a positive outlook. Better days are sure to come. Hope yuo get to keep the things you want in the settlelment.
Marilyn

Dear Paula,
You have my deepest sympathy and I hope that he will work with you on all these matters. Our daughter has been going through a nasty divorce since Dec 09, and I mean nasty. Her soon to be ex has harrassed and intimidated her every chance he’s gotten. They didn’t have a whole lot of possessions but what they had she paid for. She only got the baby’s furniture but that’s okay. At least she doesn’t have to deal with him but on a limited basis now. The divorce won’t be final until this summer. We live one day at a time, one step at a time. Take your time and don’t let anyone intimidate you OR steal your joy. God bless you and good luck!! RobinA Texas

Hi Paula,
I know this time is mind boggling painful. Divorce is worse than death. In death we morn the person we loved and after a period of morning are able to move on. With divorce that person is still there. They, whoever "they" are) say to give yourself at least 3 years to "morn" this loss. The things are only that in the big picture, just "things." Pictures, things passed down to us from lost loved ones or ancestors…these are irreplacable. Tables, chairs…these are things you can accumulate again.
Your children are also going through this loss and this makes it even harder for you. (It did me…I couldn’t cry without my daughter coming unglued. I would go outside and try to be alone and she was so in tune with me it’s like she just knew.) It has been 19 years now since my divorce. My children are grown and I have grandchildren now. Looking back what was the most important thing? My ex and I decided not to put our children in the middle. (So much easier said than done). They could be at either house without feeling like they had betrayed one or the other. The only rules were, they couldn’t go to other parent’s house simply because they were angry with the residing parent…(great rule for the teen years 🙂 and they couldn’t move back and forth during a school year. It turned out to be the best choices we made.
My ex and I had a disagreement. He had a girlfriend and I disagreed. However, a child’s self worth is based on the relationship they have with both of their parents. All three of our children turned out to be adults any parent would be proud of.
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you and your family are going through. Believe it or not, it will get better and easier. It just won’t get there quickly.
You and your family are in our prayers.
Hugs
Tammie

Oh dear…you take me back to 1982 when after 3 yrs of marriage, having met my DH when studying psychology..he went on into the job and was heading towards a breakdown (which came 6 yrs later, along with an apology) and so he left.
Came home and told me he had a flat…..so I found boxes and went around the kitchen on the premise of, was it his 3 yrs ago or mine….was it a present from my friends or his.
The furniture stayed here for another 6 months or so….and then I bought the sofa and chairs that was all I could afford at the time……and believe it or not…I am still using the wooden framed sofa. Did sell the chairs.
All the best…..It does settle.

Paula,
It’s snowing here in NH at the moment, so I know your frustration and impatience while ‘waiting for the buds to bloom’! I’m also no stranger to transitions and change … been going through some myself, and change (even for the better) is always uncomfortable. Where I live in the mountains, spring comes s-l-o-w-l-y, and I find it helps to sometimes change my focus; I try to look for little ever-present miracles, not the long-term ones. This morning, despite the fact that it is damp, bitter and raw, I saw one lone crocus popping up through frozen ground and snow. It was ‘spring in a nutshell’ though everything around it was pretty bleak! Sometimes I have to narrow my ‘canvas’ to see life’s beautiful landscape in miniature. Can’t say I’m always successful with this … sometimes nature’s canvas just looks brown! I like to hike a lot, and sometimes the trails I tread are pretty steep. This time of year, I’m not always in tip-top shape either, and I get pretty tired. What helps me is not looking at how far I have to go, but at the gound that’s right under my feet (it almost looks like level ground from that perspective!). Always good to keep the big goal in mind, but I find that breaking it down into do-able steps helps a lot!
PS The fire hydrant in your pretty photo was funny! It reminded me of a wedding photo of my husband and I, taken eons ago. It was a great photo, but we never noticed this rusty little fire-engine scooter that had been my husband’s as a little boy … don’t know how or why it was there but sometimes, I guess, we can be ‘too much’ in the moment! Have a wonderful day! Spring IS a’comin’!!

While on our way back from our small one stoplight town, we were driving down a side dirt road when my little 8 yr old started shouting..STOP MOMMY! So I immediately hit the breaks. She popped out of her seat belt and bolted from the jeep. Next thing I know she is at the window presenting me with the first flowers of spring! The whole street was browns and greens but no flowers, she managed to find the very first patch of flowers for spring. We are in northern Florida and winter has just been holding on strong here. I snipped a little bit of needles off the pine tree by the road and made a nice little arrangement to put on our mantle. With our upcoming move to the top of NY next week, I am hoping these flowers will last me a while…since spring wont be coming again for us very soon!E;O)

Lodge Lady and Cindy, wishing you green! And Gina, you have lots of new to look forward to, good luck! Bobbie, I know you, too, are looking at this Carolina Blue sky today!

Hi! Paula, We have Mud here,and lots of it!A few yellow daffidils are blooming,so their is hope of Spring.and I feel rotton and it is cold today,I have a runny nose,and a sore throat,first one I have had all winter.Ugh!And mud every where!But,I am still fairly in a good mood because I invited 25 ladies to my salon on Sunday that are members of a group named ANNIES PROJECT,it is a group for farm women.The only thing is I have to clean the shop,and now I feel rotton.Hopefully,I will feel better by the weekend.I can,t wait till it warms up,but now I have HOPE!Hang in there Paula,remember what I told ya before…think on bueatiful things!blessed be,Carol Branum,Lamar Mo.

Marilyn, you’re so kind to say so, thanks. Yep they grew up a lot over nine years!

Paula, Transitions can also be blessings in disguise. From reading your Farm Girl blogs I know you are a sensitive, caring woman and mom, but also strong. This can be a new adventure for you and your children. You seem to have a great perspective on life. Enjoy the lovely transition to Spring. As an added note – I have not told you that I was inspired by your granola blog to make my own. Everyone loved it and it’s time to make more.
Bonnie

Bouquet moments come in all shapes, sizes and " phrases" for me. Just the other day I was reminiceing about the early days of my marriage to my hubby of 18 years. The days before kids,(now teens) elder care and the recession.

We used to hop into my red convertable, top down, music up, wind in our hair…and drive. Once we were on our way he would always glance over at me and say, " Did I mention what a beautiful day it is?"… I just loved it when he would say that! The convertable is long gone… and with it that freeing feeling we used to " feel " more often…but the memory of his smile and the sound of his voice will forever be a bouquet moment for me… Now a days we hold out all winter until summer comes. When we want to have that " feeling " we jump into his boat and head out to the open water. Once we get out to a quiet spot he knows just what to say to make me smile.
The kids are big enough to hang out on shore now! Yahoo!!!

I feel sorry for folks who live in a black and white or grey world, even beige would be better, at least it’s something. But I the more colours I add to my home the more I love it! I’m not talking gaudy, off the wall colours, I am talking soft and gentle colours that sooth the eyes and soul. And the patchwork quilt in yellows and pastels that goes on the spare room bed to make company comfy. I wonder if they would want to come back to visit if the quilt was just grey or black…I don’t think I would feel quite as welcome if it was me!

I had a bouquet moment this very moment. I went to pick up 2 of my 4 grandsons this morning and the youngest of the 4 and also the youngest of all 6 grandchildren came walking down the hall from his room with a huge smile across his face. He has been a late walker and has been working on it since before Christmas. Just remember how they look when they first experience it. How shiny their faces get. That was my bouquet moment today and it made tears form in my eyes. Thanks for a new way of thinking.

What a lovely entry. Those special moments make so much out of a rough day 🙂

My special bouquet for today was the sound of a spring baseball game taking place just outside my window. The ting of a metal bat takes me back to being a little girl and watching my dad play softball with his company team or my brother as he played little league all summer long. We’re grown up now. I’m away at college and my brother is heading off to Afghanistan, but the sounds of baseball make me feel, just for a moment, we’re all back home.

Speaking of flowers (and spring), I just hosted my 4th annual "Perennial Party" for about 15 of my friends and neighbors. I am a Rural Farmgirl, but your post was in the gardening vein, so I thought I would tell about my party. Everyone brings plants they have dug and divided from their yard, or leftover seeds, houseplants, etc. to share with others instead of throwing it in the compost pile.
I serve lunch, fancy and pretty, even tho everyone wears their grubby clothes, this year it was paninis and a salad bar, fresh fruit tart and other desserts, coffee, mango punch and wine. We visit and everyone goes home with a carload of new plants. The more guests, the more choices of plants. It would work as well in the city, suburbia or in the country. Even apartment dwellers could do a houseplant/balcony plant exchange. Try it, it’s fun!

I leave "words of wisdom" to myself on the top page of notepads. The notepads end up sitting in a pile or in my desk drawers. Every once in a while I’ll be sorting through my things and come across my words of wisdom (quotes I’ve read or brilliant ideas of my own or interesting facts and health tips). Many times it will cheer me up.Some times I’ll stash the notepad away to find again at a later date.

I love this! As a write-from-home mom of two preschoolers (homeschooled), I find myself sometimes missing "me"… I’m going to revamp the corkboard in "mommy’s bathroom" to remind me of all the other things I am – horsewoman, inactive pilot, hiker, gardener, child of God! My life experiences and interests add to my overall character, which benefits my husband and kids as well. Thanks for this wonderful reminder and encouragement to not only "be" but to also enjoy ourselves!!! ~TJ

I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog! Last week I actually made the granola and it is wonderful.. Now I will continue to make my own!
My favorite clipping on my bulletin board is of the character ‘Rose is Rose’. ‘Let’s see now, shall I start planning dinner, or shall I find a ribbon of highway and see where it takes me?’ Then, ‘Alter egos have NO appreciation for a painstakingly assembled recipe file!’

Funnily enough I am sitting at my laptop reading this today which sits on my sewing table infront of my Inspiration board… Instead of in the computer room where I usually check my emails. Coincidence?? I don’t think so.
What a wonderful board! I have two Inspiration boards (thats what I call them) and they are in my sewing room and my laundry room! 🙂 my sewing room board has pictures quotes, colors, etc that, like you, caught my eye and I wanted to post them to inspire me when I’m sewing. Although, oftentimes I just come in here and sit for a few minutes and look at the board and it inspires me in other ways. The board in my laundry room is newer and doesn’t have as much "stuff" but it has my homemade laundry soap recipe handy and pictures of my girls, things that make me happy. So i guess I have a Happy board and an Inspiration board. Thank you so much for this post! It made my day.

How we desire to reach for the tangible and document it in some form that we will refer back to when desired; catching it and tucking it away; like the gathering of fireflies into our jar. Once in the jar we watch, laugh, get excited, and then we discover that in order for joy to remain we must let them fly away. In releasing comes the true fulfillment, and we will forever remember. Our minds are the inspiration boards; with us, wherever we may go.

Nice to find your blog and to see that suburban living is recognized by the "farm community" too, if our hearts are in the right places. Your bulletin board looks like mine, and I think it’s a fine place to tell our daily stories. I also keep a journal and a blog (am also a professional writer), so my stuff is everywhere!