Hi Paula,

I was wondering when you would get back to blogging, but figured you must be very busy with "divorce" business. I too, am divorced after 20 years, with 3 children. Let me tell you that since then I was on my own for 4 years, did minimal dating…and for the past 14 years have been with a great guy! There is life after divorce. And a lot of it is good. I have been a grandma (meme’ to the babies) for 5 years now…and that is a huge blessing, too. I am now facing another upheaval,if my research is correct. I have been showing numerous signs of "Parkinson’s disease " the past few months, or more. I am just beginning to see a doctor for this, hope to have testing done this summer. My family is not aware of this yet, and I have been trying to figure out the best way to tell them. I am pondering having a family get together, without babies, to tell them all at once. I think that might be easier on me, and them. That way they can all discuss it with one another (this would be my daughter, sons, son-in-law & daughter in law). I would tell my fiance’ first. I am going to read Michael J Fox’s book, Always Looking UP, as I plan to push myself to do the best I can, with every obstical that gets in my way. I really don’t want my family to treat me any differently, but just to help me out a bit when I need it. I am fortunate in that the internet has been a resource that has shown me that my illness is most likely due to toxic pollutions and not genetic. The genetic form, like Michael has usually hits younger people (he was only 30)unlike myself who is 56, they say that others usually see symptoms after age 55 years. My only fear now, is the later years, and how it will affect my family. But I will push on….and for you I can only wish you good luck with all you are going thru….it does get easier, and the children do adjust after awhile. Life will get better…..all the best….O’Dell

Oh honey, I’ve been there. It is more difficult than people imagine, but you will come out of this a better person in the end.

As far as dividing, just remember it’s only stuff and not worth the energy of fighting over. I let my ex have most of the household possessions just to avoid a fight. It’s 10 years later and I don’t miss any of it. There is no winner in a divorce – not even the person who walks away with the most stuff.

Keep the lawyers out of it as much as possible. Try writing down those favorite items on slips of paper and each of you draws for them. If there is a respected friend or family member that can mediate the drawing that’s even better.

My Dear

I am going through a divorce myself, still in the trauma stages. Just looking ahead at what’s to come is overwhelming . I pray for a good outcome for both of us. This is the one of the worst things I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. Strength to us both, strength to any woman struggling with this issue. Keep the faith!

Hi Paula – I am very sorry to hear about your divorce!

It sounds like you have a pretty clear picture who’s is what for some of your possessions. For the others, why don’t you just have a sale and split half of the funds? Maybe you could use the money to buy something that really indicates a new start, such as new living room furniture?

Best of luck to you, you and your family will be in my prayers. Cindy

Hi, I’ve read the blogs before, but this is the first time I’ve responded. I’ve been divorced for 10 years after 17 years of marriage. I divorced when my daughter(who is mentally and physically disabled) was 15 and my son was 13. My ex and I fortunately stayed friends and he passed away three years ago at 56. So what have I learned? Don’t sweat over "stuff" it can all be replaced. Life is a lot easier without "stuff". What’s the most important thing is that you take care of your mental, physical, and spiritual self because that you cannot replace. If you’re in a good place and happy then your children will be happy. That’s all that really matters. My best regards with your transitioning.

As tough as it is, I would take this opportunity as a chance to redefine what is important to you and your children and what can be purged without pain from your life. Moving is traumatic enough and if the kids see your place as the one with the ‘comforts of our old home’ and his stripped of memories, it’s going to be more difficult for them to adjust and settle in when they are away from you.
Be sure to make both places comfortable for them and then go from there. Remember, that although this is difficult for you two, it was a decision made by the two of you and the kids had no say. Their lives need stability above all.
{Hugs} You can do it! :o)

Paula, I was married for 10+ years, with 3 children, and got divorced almost 4 years ago. HUGS to you. Going through this life-upheaval is so difficult. We didn’t have anything of "worth", so splitting up the belongings was fairly easy; however, my ordeal was figuring out just what "things" were the most important to me. This was a life-altering moment for me, as I realized that the "things" I had lived surrounded by were just that..THINGS. I also had to narrow everything down to the bare essentials..I was renting a minivan, loaded with my mother, myself and my 3 children to basically "escape" my life in Wisconsin to make a fresh start in California. So, what I took with us was what would fit in the van: Family photos, my personal and my grandmothers’ china, my quilts, my computer, a week’s worth of clothes for each of us (plus about 2 pairs of shoes each..not easy for a shoe-queen such as myself!). We took a few of the childrens’ favorite toys and loaded up. Before that, I gave away EVERYTHING ELSE, using Freecycle, and left my ex’s stuff there for him to deal with. Paula, it’s truly amazing what you realize you can live without, once you put the value on the people in your life instead of the "stuff". Good luck to you, dear heart.

My prayers for you and the children (and for your ex) as you go through this uneasy period. I lost "almost everything" when I divorced. I was unlucky in that "himself" burned my diaries and my photos and broke my vinyl records and took the jewelry, china and silver to the hockshop and then destroyed some quilted, croched, art pieces. However, my son and I got through it safely and I know now how STRONG it made me. Don’t sweat the small stuff! You will be fine in a little while. As pretty and sweet and kind as you seem to be, your next big problem will probably be chasing away guys from your doorstep.

Hi Paula,
I have missed your blogs as well as your column in Womans Day. Sorry to hear about your loss and all your problems. Keep a positive outlook. Better days are sure to come. Hope yuo get to keep the things you want in the settlelment.
Marilyn

Dear Paula,
You have my deepest sympathy and I hope that he will work with you on all these matters. Our daughter has been going through a nasty divorce since Dec 09, and I mean nasty. Her soon to be ex has harrassed and intimidated her every chance he’s gotten. They didn’t have a whole lot of possessions but what they had she paid for. She only got the baby’s furniture but that’s okay. At least she doesn’t have to deal with him but on a limited basis now. The divorce won’t be final until this summer. We live one day at a time, one step at a time. Take your time and don’t let anyone intimidate you OR steal your joy. God bless you and good luck!! RobinA Texas

Hi Paula,
I know this time is mind boggling painful. Divorce is worse than death. In death we morn the person we loved and after a period of morning are able to move on. With divorce that person is still there. They, whoever "they" are) say to give yourself at least 3 years to "morn" this loss. The things are only that in the big picture, just "things." Pictures, things passed down to us from lost loved ones or ancestors…these are irreplacable. Tables, chairs…these are things you can accumulate again.
Your children are also going through this loss and this makes it even harder for you. (It did me…I couldn’t cry without my daughter coming unglued. I would go outside and try to be alone and she was so in tune with me it’s like she just knew.) It has been 19 years now since my divorce. My children are grown and I have grandchildren now. Looking back what was the most important thing? My ex and I decided not to put our children in the middle. (So much easier said than done). They could be at either house without feeling like they had betrayed one or the other. The only rules were, they couldn’t go to other parent’s house simply because they were angry with the residing parent…(great rule for the teen years 🙂 and they couldn’t move back and forth during a school year. It turned out to be the best choices we made.
My ex and I had a disagreement. He had a girlfriend and I disagreed. However, a child’s self worth is based on the relationship they have with both of their parents. All three of our children turned out to be adults any parent would be proud of.
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you and your family are going through. Believe it or not, it will get better and easier. It just won’t get there quickly.
You and your family are in our prayers.
Hugs
Tammie

Oh dear…you take me back to 1982 when after 3 yrs of marriage, having met my DH when studying psychology..he went on into the job and was heading towards a breakdown (which came 6 yrs later, along with an apology) and so he left.
Came home and told me he had a flat…..so I found boxes and went around the kitchen on the premise of, was it his 3 yrs ago or mine….was it a present from my friends or his.
The furniture stayed here for another 6 months or so….and then I bought the sofa and chairs that was all I could afford at the time……and believe it or not…I am still using the wooden framed sofa. Did sell the chairs.
All the best…..It does settle.

Paula,
It’s snowing here in NH at the moment, so I know your frustration and impatience while ‘waiting for the buds to bloom’! I’m also no stranger to transitions and change … been going through some myself, and change (even for the better) is always uncomfortable. Where I live in the mountains, spring comes s-l-o-w-l-y, and I find it helps to sometimes change my focus; I try to look for little ever-present miracles, not the long-term ones. This morning, despite the fact that it is damp, bitter and raw, I saw one lone crocus popping up through frozen ground and snow. It was ‘spring in a nutshell’ though everything around it was pretty bleak! Sometimes I have to narrow my ‘canvas’ to see life’s beautiful landscape in miniature. Can’t say I’m always successful with this … sometimes nature’s canvas just looks brown! I like to hike a lot, and sometimes the trails I tread are pretty steep. This time of year, I’m not always in tip-top shape either, and I get pretty tired. What helps me is not looking at how far I have to go, but at the gound that’s right under my feet (it almost looks like level ground from that perspective!). Always good to keep the big goal in mind, but I find that breaking it down into do-able steps helps a lot!
PS The fire hydrant in your pretty photo was funny! It reminded me of a wedding photo of my husband and I, taken eons ago. It was a great photo, but we never noticed this rusty little fire-engine scooter that had been my husband’s as a little boy … don’t know how or why it was there but sometimes, I guess, we can be ‘too much’ in the moment! Have a wonderful day! Spring IS a’comin’!!

While on our way back from our small one stoplight town, we were driving down a side dirt road when my little 8 yr old started shouting..STOP MOMMY! So I immediately hit the breaks. She popped out of her seat belt and bolted from the jeep. Next thing I know she is at the window presenting me with the first flowers of spring! The whole street was browns and greens but no flowers, she managed to find the very first patch of flowers for spring. We are in northern Florida and winter has just been holding on strong here. I snipped a little bit of needles off the pine tree by the road and made a nice little arrangement to put on our mantle. With our upcoming move to the top of NY next week, I am hoping these flowers will last me a while…since spring wont be coming again for us very soon!E;O)

Lodge Lady and Cindy, wishing you green! And Gina, you have lots of new to look forward to, good luck! Bobbie, I know you, too, are looking at this Carolina Blue sky today!

Hi! Paula, We have Mud here,and lots of it!A few yellow daffidils are blooming,so their is hope of Spring.and I feel rotton and it is cold today,I have a runny nose,and a sore throat,first one I have had all winter.Ugh!And mud every where!But,I am still fairly in a good mood because I invited 25 ladies to my salon on Sunday that are members of a group named ANNIES PROJECT,it is a group for farm women.The only thing is I have to clean the shop,and now I feel rotton.Hopefully,I will feel better by the weekend.I can,t wait till it warms up,but now I have HOPE!Hang in there Paula,remember what I told ya before…think on bueatiful things!blessed be,Carol Branum,Lamar Mo.

Marilyn, you’re so kind to say so, thanks. Yep they grew up a lot over nine years!

Paula, Transitions can also be blessings in disguise. From reading your Farm Girl blogs I know you are a sensitive, caring woman and mom, but also strong. This can be a new adventure for you and your children. You seem to have a great perspective on life. Enjoy the lovely transition to Spring. As an added note – I have not told you that I was inspired by your granola blog to make my own. Everyone loved it and it’s time to make more.
Bonnie

Bouquet moments come in all shapes, sizes and " phrases" for me. Just the other day I was reminiceing about the early days of my marriage to my hubby of 18 years. The days before kids,(now teens) elder care and the recession.

We used to hop into my red convertable, top down, music up, wind in our hair…and drive. Once we were on our way he would always glance over at me and say, " Did I mention what a beautiful day it is?"… I just loved it when he would say that! The convertable is long gone… and with it that freeing feeling we used to " feel " more often…but the memory of his smile and the sound of his voice will forever be a bouquet moment for me… Now a days we hold out all winter until summer comes. When we want to have that " feeling " we jump into his boat and head out to the open water. Once we get out to a quiet spot he knows just what to say to make me smile.
The kids are big enough to hang out on shore now! Yahoo!!!

I feel sorry for folks who live in a black and white or grey world, even beige would be better, at least it’s something. But I the more colours I add to my home the more I love it! I’m not talking gaudy, off the wall colours, I am talking soft and gentle colours that sooth the eyes and soul. And the patchwork quilt in yellows and pastels that goes on the spare room bed to make company comfy. I wonder if they would want to come back to visit if the quilt was just grey or black…I don’t think I would feel quite as welcome if it was me!

I had a bouquet moment this very moment. I went to pick up 2 of my 4 grandsons this morning and the youngest of the 4 and also the youngest of all 6 grandchildren came walking down the hall from his room with a huge smile across his face. He has been a late walker and has been working on it since before Christmas. Just remember how they look when they first experience it. How shiny their faces get. That was my bouquet moment today and it made tears form in my eyes. Thanks for a new way of thinking.

What a lovely entry. Those special moments make so much out of a rough day 🙂

My special bouquet for today was the sound of a spring baseball game taking place just outside my window. The ting of a metal bat takes me back to being a little girl and watching my dad play softball with his company team or my brother as he played little league all summer long. We’re grown up now. I’m away at college and my brother is heading off to Afghanistan, but the sounds of baseball make me feel, just for a moment, we’re all back home.

Speaking of flowers (and spring), I just hosted my 4th annual "Perennial Party" for about 15 of my friends and neighbors. I am a Rural Farmgirl, but your post was in the gardening vein, so I thought I would tell about my party. Everyone brings plants they have dug and divided from their yard, or leftover seeds, houseplants, etc. to share with others instead of throwing it in the compost pile.
I serve lunch, fancy and pretty, even tho everyone wears their grubby clothes, this year it was paninis and a salad bar, fresh fruit tart and other desserts, coffee, mango punch and wine. We visit and everyone goes home with a carload of new plants. The more guests, the more choices of plants. It would work as well in the city, suburbia or in the country. Even apartment dwellers could do a houseplant/balcony plant exchange. Try it, it’s fun!

I leave "words of wisdom" to myself on the top page of notepads. The notepads end up sitting in a pile or in my desk drawers. Every once in a while I’ll be sorting through my things and come across my words of wisdom (quotes I’ve read or brilliant ideas of my own or interesting facts and health tips). Many times it will cheer me up.Some times I’ll stash the notepad away to find again at a later date.

I love this! As a write-from-home mom of two preschoolers (homeschooled), I find myself sometimes missing "me"… I’m going to revamp the corkboard in "mommy’s bathroom" to remind me of all the other things I am – horsewoman, inactive pilot, hiker, gardener, child of God! My life experiences and interests add to my overall character, which benefits my husband and kids as well. Thanks for this wonderful reminder and encouragement to not only "be" but to also enjoy ourselves!!! ~TJ

I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog! Last week I actually made the granola and it is wonderful.. Now I will continue to make my own!
My favorite clipping on my bulletin board is of the character ‘Rose is Rose’. ‘Let’s see now, shall I start planning dinner, or shall I find a ribbon of highway and see where it takes me?’ Then, ‘Alter egos have NO appreciation for a painstakingly assembled recipe file!’

Funnily enough I am sitting at my laptop reading this today which sits on my sewing table infront of my Inspiration board… Instead of in the computer room where I usually check my emails. Coincidence?? I don’t think so.
What a wonderful board! I have two Inspiration boards (thats what I call them) and they are in my sewing room and my laundry room! 🙂 my sewing room board has pictures quotes, colors, etc that, like you, caught my eye and I wanted to post them to inspire me when I’m sewing. Although, oftentimes I just come in here and sit for a few minutes and look at the board and it inspires me in other ways. The board in my laundry room is newer and doesn’t have as much "stuff" but it has my homemade laundry soap recipe handy and pictures of my girls, things that make me happy. So i guess I have a Happy board and an Inspiration board. Thank you so much for this post! It made my day.

How we desire to reach for the tangible and document it in some form that we will refer back to when desired; catching it and tucking it away; like the gathering of fireflies into our jar. Once in the jar we watch, laugh, get excited, and then we discover that in order for joy to remain we must let them fly away. In releasing comes the true fulfillment, and we will forever remember. Our minds are the inspiration boards; with us, wherever we may go.

Nice to find your blog and to see that suburban living is recognized by the "farm community" too, if our hearts are in the right places. Your bulletin board looks like mine, and I think it’s a fine place to tell our daily stories. I also keep a journal and a blog (am also a professional writer), so my stuff is everywhere!

Ahhh! I can almost smell the deliciousness by just reading your instructions! I’m definitely pulling out the stops and heading right to the store to stock up on all the ingredients – what a great, healthy Valentine alternative. I’m thinking a little ‘chocolate granola’? Thanks for your lovely sharing!

Paula, that sounds so delicious and just the thing to read and look at on this early cold morning! I think I’ll stop at the store and get some ingredients to make your "hug in a bowl" for tomorrow morning. It goes along with my endeavor to eat healthier this year and avoid a lot of digestion problems that I have been having. God bless you and thank you allowing us to share cooking with you via the web!

We were just talking about our craving for granola. Thank you so much…we shall try this recipe today. Blessings to you.

Several people have written me to mention the lack of chocolate chips in this recipe. To which I say, *Why didn’t I think of that?!!* Any other great missing ingredients??

YUMMO….Thanks for the "No Rules" recipe.

Thanks Paula, looks and sounds very yummy! Have wanted to make my own, but thought it was more complicated to make. Since seeing your receipe, I’m definitely going to make it, nothing tastes better than real home cooked food.
Cheers

Granola bars — great idea! I wish I knew…will have to hunt a recipe down or maybe experiment…probably a little more honey and/or oil to make it stickier??

Hi Paula, I have read your articles in Woman’s Day and just came over the Mary Jane’s Farm and was glad to see you on here. Good reminder to slow down. I get together with two other girl friends every year and do a girl’s trip. They really are good for the soul.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful sister in law with us. She’s amazing. I enjoyed seeing the pictures of you and your girls. So pretty – all of you.
♥ Joy

I think you have hit the nail on the head. We don’t NEED all that stuff and stress in our lives. The older I get the wiser I get…(hehehe)…not necessarily in the brains department but in the ‘do what is necessary and ditch the rest’ way. Just don’t wait as long as I did to find that out!
Enjoy your day!

I just wanted to tell you that I always find your thoughts and comments the closest to my heart! Today I actually ‘allowed’ myself to stay in bed and read a Jan Karon book, the eighth in the series. These are my most favorite books of all time, comforting, loving, always setting my mind at ease. This is my second time reading the series and I am still struck with the fact that they are so pertinent with my life and it’s travels. A good way for me to drift off to sleep or unplug from the anxieties of daily life.
Spring is coming and soon I will be LOST in my garden…
I loved seeing the smiling females in your family.

Your comments yesterday came as a real blessing to me. Am in the middle of a hugh family crisis (over which I have no control) and awakened this morning with that heavy feeling hanging over me…I’m printing off your 10 ways to post on the refrig to remind me of the ways in which I can be proactive as well as the many blessings God continues to provide.

Right on Paula, this is what I always say, attitude is a choice we make all the time.
Thanks so much for sharing your sister in law. And don’t forget that you too have a lot of juggling to do and do it well. I am working on getting in the "zen zone" with calming myself – not everything needs to be done today, and I don’t need to be back at work until tomorrow morning, so I still have plenty of time to do what I Really need to do and leave the rest.
Thanks again for a timely reminder.
Love and hugs
Denise x

Paula I really do like your suggestions on staying calm. I have a best friend from high school and when ever either one of us has something going on that is stressful, we will just call each other and before we hang up, we are usually laughing. It seems to be the best medicine. Also, going to prayer is a must. Knowing that the Lord is always right there waiting for me to ask for his help. Then I just fix myself a bubble bath and then snuggle up with a good book. And yes I agree that with age, you realize what is really important and taking care of yourself is certainly very important. I live by the Serenity Prayer! It’s the only way for me to get through all life hands you.

Wow! This article has hit home! I am a "farmgirl" of the 50’s & 60’s! I so love the calmness, peacefulness and values of those days gone by. These past months I have been soul-searcing as I lost my job and doing just what this article discusses and it’s working! Stepping back, taking in all that God has given us and enjoying every minute of His creation! It is the "zen" I’ve needed. I love your sister-in-laws "more zen in ’10" for it’s what I’ve been doing as well…am now sharing this with my family: to step back and as the old saying goes: "stop and smell the roses".for life is too short to be so stressed. Would have loved to have realized this 20 years ago! Thanks for making my day!

I must admit, I was a Little Joe girl but I was a little young in the 60s. I was only two in 1964 so I probably watched the reruns in the 70s and thought they were happening right now! Great song of Pernell’s.

That was such a sweet and tender tribute. Thanks Paula

I love the show Bonanza! All of the guys were great.
However, after the show was in reruns and the actors were going on to other things, I was able to see Pernell Roberts in a play in Austin, Texas – and of all things, part of the same cast as Dawn Wells (Mary Ann of Gilligan’s Island).

I was raised infront of weatern shows and movies but Bonanza is still a fav. I love Barbara Stanwick and I have to say I favored Hoss. I didn’t know Pernell Roberts was involved in Civil Rights…very interesting.

hi Paula,yes,I read that in the Sunday paper,so sad.I almost cryed.We watched the show religiously in our home."Hoss" is my momma,s third cousin,she even had a split in her teeth just like his.All of her brothers kinda have that look,and all the men cousins too.So,we watched every week…My grama had that record alumb of Pernell Roberts also.Bonanza was a big part of our lives.All of the men were handsome,I did,nt really have a favorite.Little Joe kind of stole the spotlight from Roberts,and I think that hurt him…He will be missed.blessed be,Carol Branum,Lamar Mo.themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com

Gorgeous tribute, so true born in the 70’s and no tv until 17 well, I missed all this so will have to go and watch them no – they’re on dvd i believe.
loved the humour too.
keep on keeping on.
Cheers Paula.

OHHHHHH! Hadn’t heard that Pernell had passed on. He was a great actor, and YES! I was hooked, too! yes, I was. he was so handsome, and so mature and so intelligent!

I think we’re about evenly split on our favorite Cartwright….

Paula, As a young girl I was a die hard Joe girl. Now that I’m 61 I find myself favoring Pa.,of course having a Hop Sing around woulden’t be bad either!

Pernell grew up in Waycross next door to my grandmother. Her memory of him was the bad little boy who tore up her flowers. Although I was a Joe girl, I must say I would pick Adam today. I guess pretty faces don’t mean as much as they used to now that I am 50 plus. Loved your take on things.

Thanks for the sweet remembrances of Pernell. My tribute to him is at http://circlemending.blogspot.com/2010/01/memorial-for-my-friend-pernell-roberts.html

Best wishes, Jean

Paula,
Your book touched me when it first came out and I learned then that you were an Adam girl. I wrote you then and commented on my own Adam crush. It brings a smile to my face to be remembering that again now. Thanks again for sharing his loss. Now I feel old!

I am a Hoss girl, and an Adam girl….I loved the gentleness and bear like quality of Hoss, and the quiet,manly man of Adam. It was danger to fall in love with any of the Cartwrights, for surely something would befall either the lady or the relationship.

I was born in the mid-eighties, but I got into Bonanza when they started airing on MeTV. I am totally an Adam girl! Strong, intelligent, and beautiful…"sigh".

Edward Cullen, eat your heart out! 🙂

Paula!

I used to make these potholders…although I never thought to make a quilt out of them! After makeing probably 150 of them, my mother just…quietly…stopped replenishing my fabric loops. Of course, my parents continued to feed my creativity with every art and candle making supply I could ever wish for. It’s amazing how something as insignificant as a potholder can bring so many great memories to the surface. THANK YOU for reminding me of how thrilled my mom and grandmothers pretended to be when they got potholder after potholder! Last, I am so sorry for the loss of your father. You were so very lucky to have him as long as you did. I lost mine when he was only 62 – eleven years ago. It feels like yesterday, and for over a year I woke up needing to talk to him, not immediatley remembering that he was no longer here. Luckily, I had a supportive husband and two beautiful daughters…and it became clear to me that I had to move forward. You will too. Over time, losing my dad, while difficult to bear, became less raw and painful. I know how much he loved me….and he knew how much I loved him. For now, that has to be enough. Thank God I still have my Mom! I hope the day comes that your father’s passing will not be the first thing you remember when you wake up. Just treasure the great things he taught you and the impact he had on your life. You and your sibling(s), after all, are a continuation of his life. What more could a parent ask for?

I use to love those looms! I gave one to my granddaughter when she was ten. It’s funny you bring this up today…I have just started a book on opening up to creativity…so the two go hand-in-hand as some of the advice is the same. Thanks for the blog!

Seeing those potholders brought back so many memories of summer afternoons many years ago. My twin sister and I along with a few friends would sit for hours making all color combinations of potholders. The quilt is a good idea, wish we would have thought of that!
Marilyn

Life also is like the weaving. Don’t stagnate yourself by doing the same routine day in and day out; even the smallest alteration to your typical day is fresh and invigorating. Be spontaneous, fearless, encouraged to step out and do the one thing that you have been thinking of for so long. I did, and my life is weaving new moments!!

Only time will tell…I lost my mom in December. Toward the end I likened us to layers of an onion. Any problems, distractions, issues, had been peeled away and we were down to our most basic selves. Mother and daughter and hearts full of love..In other times of my life I would not have been able to devote this gift of time. Now I find that I am gravitating to certain items of mom’s that remind me of all of the moments that we shared as a family. Anything that gives us comfort is deserved!
I love your collection and the ability to appreciate and seak out that which gives you pleasure. You deserve it, as do I! This is a year for refilling!

Change is often difficult and sometimes we are in such pain we don’t realize until much later what we have accomplished, much like childbirth. I have often said that things happen for a reason and even if we don’t understand it at the time, be patient and the end results are often better than we imagined they could be! I love the idea of pouring out the old and refilling with the new. It may leave an empty spot for awhile but anyone who has ever cleared off a shelf or a cupboard drawer, knows they don’t stay empty long and soon your life will fill up as well. It’s up to you what you refill with! :o)

Blessings to you in this time of change. Wishing you peace until you can look backwards and see how all was meant to be.

Jen

What a crummy, hard bunch of things to live through! I’m so sorry for your losses and your changes. It must be hard to breath deeply some mornings…

I think that when life throws us so many curveballs and changes in one year, we tend to gravitate toward the things that have lasted, especially those crafted and touched by our beloveds. They remind us of the relationships (daughters and great grandmothers) that mean so much to us, and even the things that weren’t originally FROM our family remind us of the women who have likely been through things like those challenging us now, before. A way to tap in to the Sisterhood, focusing on beauty and function instead of loss and change. There is a verse in the bible about focusing our minds on what is good and pure and peaceful… I used to think that advice to be "pollyanna" but the older I get, the more I see the value in the instruction. And pitchers and teapots (I have a collection too!) are items that fit those criteria!

I hope that 2010 brings dawn…

I am so sorry to read of your difficult year. I can relate somewhat. The past 15 months have been very difficult for our family. Betrayals, psycologists, sky high bills, social workers, job lose, adult children problems, heartache, missing granchildren, the list goes on and on….

I collect teapots and you have just inspired me to reach into the hutch and pull out a couple and use them and enjoy them.

Praying 2009 is a better year for you and your family.

..thankyou for your insite and wisdom. My prayer is for God to fill your teapot with much more to pour out to new readers everywhere. I’m going to copy this for my friend Joan who is retiring this year from being the librarian at a local elementary school. She’s poured out alot of fun and love for books to her students throughout the years, and I pray that her teapot would be filled with a wonderful and exciting life ahead of her, filled to the brim..love ya Joan, from your library helper, Jen

A few years ago (1999 to be exact, does that tell you I remember the pain?)when I thought "What am I going to do now?" and circumstances were so tough in my life that I thought I would grieve myself to death, I received a new revelation of how to view my life and situation. This may be not-so-big to some but it was to me. I didn’t choose my circumstances, but I could choose to enjoy different aspects of what was happening, and looking for an adventure in solving some part of it. It was either grieve myself to death or learn to see how to enjoy life in this. It was a light bulb moment and I literally said out loud, "I’m going to enjoy it," this special time given to me. And now I can say—I have. Many times other situations have come and I still refer back to that time in my thought life and remember, "Enjoy life today" and "what good is in this situation now" or "what is possible to change or solve," then do like Carol said in her comments, sing. Have a blessed uplifting thought life and day today!!

Bless your heart. You have certainly had many transitions of change. I am a tea drinker..the kind you steep…daily. It is where I can shut out the chaos of the world and just be still. I have a collection of teapots and teacups and so I use a different one each day and some are part of the decoration of my house. I will certainly be praying for you. May this year bring you many blessings.

Hi! Until reading your blog and everyone’s comments I thought I was the only one who started steeping pots of tea for comfort (Usually I’m a coffee drinker!) You know, when you get an icky diagnosis or some other bad situation that just leaves you kind of "shell shocked", what is it about a hot "cuppa" and a warm puppy that somehow helps…..

Hi, Paula and fellow would-be farm girls:

I share your love of the simpler things of life that soothe
us and provide therapy, especially when life gets complicated and we seek to retreat and console or renew our minds and hearts. I cook and bake, I write, I paint and crochet, I putter in the garden and always have plants at my windows and fresh flowers in a vase in my kitchen, a way I treat myself.

I share your sorrow about the loss of your parents. I lost my dad 12 years ago and my mother just a year and a half ago and I find myself doing many of the things they loved doing, remembering them as I continue traditions they instilled in me. I wrap myself in Mom’s afghan often, imagining her little arms around me as I cuddled next to her just two years ago telling her, "I’m still your little girl, Mom."

As this Christmas without her was especially hard for me, she was often on my mind, and then I started finding dimes in odd places like friends of mine claimed they found shiney pennies. I guess the one that really got my attention was one I found inside one of my socks as I pulled it out of the drier! That’s just one little way she’s let me know she is still with me.

One of the things Mom loved to do is drink coffee or tea from a bone china cup, so I got in a habit of it, and I just began a collection of them…ones with lovely rose patterns on them. As yet, I’ve only found one pitcher, but no teapots as yet, but I will add one to my small collection soon. It is indeed a treat and a comfort to sip from china and remember the good times.

Now, along with sipping my morning tea or coffee, I browse through my new subscription of Farm Girl Magazine, and it renews the farm girl in me, reminding me of simpler times when I was little, and looking forward, hopefully to more of those when I am able to retire.

Blessings and warm hugs to you and yours,

Bonnie

Oh Paula, I forgot to tell you in my earlier email that I have a "lady teapot" too! I inherited it from my mother in law after she passed away. We had a very difficult relationship, but when I see this pot I try to remember the good things about her. This pot is pretty expensive in the antique store, which makes it all the more precious to me. I haven’t used her for tea yet, she just adorns my cottage home, but she reminds me that life is not always a bed of roses, it has many thorns too, but what a beautiful fragrance we receive when we take time to smell those beautiful petals!

Hi paula,thinking of you today also,Monday,Jan.18,2010,Remember the words to the song…rain drops on roses,and snow covered kisses,snowflakes that fall on my nose and eyelashes,silver white winters that turn into spring,these are a few of my favorite things,when the bow breaks,when the birds sing,when I am feeling low,I simply remember my favorite things,and then I don,t feel so sad….In 1965 my great aunt Florance thought we were too country and took me to to Springfield mo.in her bright yellow caddy, to stay with her in her victorian mansion,she was very ritch,I felt just like "Pollyanna’ in the movie by "Walt Disney",all of the crystal prizims in her home,She took me to a fancy store in Springfield named "Herrs" and purchased me all new clothes,I remember beiing thrilled at "storebought" clothing,Aunt was determined to teach me manners and culture,and I helped her polish her real,not plated silverware,I was totally fasinated,We went to see the movie "The Sound of Music"with Julie Andrews.It was so neat to see at the movie theater,because the mountians were as large as life.We sat in the balcony of the large antique theater located in old down town Springfield, and it felt just like I was actually on top of the mountian….When I returned home,our farm is on a hill,so I spent many hours rideing my bike down the gravel road and down the big hill,singing songs from the "Sound of Music"…She is confident…ect.He is 16 going on 17 ect…Rent the movie today,even if you have seen it a hundred times before,it is always refreshing…blessed be,Carol branum,lamar Mo.themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com

"The wildflowers bloom in the valleys," was a comfort to me several years ago when I was experiencing a "year". Well, here I am at AARP-age 66, having another year, except that with age comes the joy of recognizing angels among us. Friends deliver homemade soup, call to see if I am still kicking, make and have blessed a prayer shawl, gift me with a pretty box for my new little nest, after "himself" had divorce papers served the day before our anniversary. (My sister thinks it’s the best gift I’ve ever received!) No more tip-toeing around in the dark so that "himself" won’t be disturbed as I dress to go out to work while he sleeps in the crack of …Yes, I’m still a little mad, but soon get glad as I turn my new little nest into a feminine girly place all my own. Thanks for letting me share, and blessings to you. Judith

Can you use spray glue. Pinecones and other outdoor finds sprayed with glue and sprinkled with glitter and a pretty ribbon. You can make anything you want even if you aren’t crafty. There are recipes for cookie ornaments also. You can do it!

I love that you admitted to not being crafty! I love all the Farmgirl stuff, but I am not wildly talented at making things. Nevertheless I do knit scarves for everyone I know (I only know 2 stitches and they look like a 5 year old made them)- I am also VERY good at printer paper snowflakes and I can glue buttons on anything! I can also roll beeswax into candles, and do a variety of crafts that any 3 or 4 year old can master (having been a Montessori teacher for a long time!). Oddly enough I have a reputation as being the person who makes things! Faking it works too I guess!

Thankyou for sharing your tree decos. with all of us. I love to craft and have done it for many years. I enjoy seeking out unique and easy crafts to make as gifts for the people I love my family and friends. Merry christmas

Hey, I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say GREAT blog!…..I"ll be checking in on a regularly now….Keep up the good work! 🙂

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