That Promise of Spring…

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
“The nicest thing about the promise of spring is that sooner or later, she’ll have to keep it.” That’s what I write in a card to my old pal Kathleen every year about this time, between our birthdays – well, every year I remember, but it’s the majority of the past near-thirty.
I don’t even know how our tradition got started. (It’s a quote we picked up somewhere.) But since I live in the South, it’s a promise that’s kept to me before Kathleen, who’s lived in Iowa ever since we met there in college, so I figure she can use the sentiment. I heard Iowa had snow last week!
Over here in North Carolina, this first week of spring, I’ve got daffodils, Lenten roses (below), forsythia, redbud, and flowering trees galore. But it’s my psychology, rather than my weather, that’s really ready to “break into blossom,” as another line of poetry stuck in my head goes.


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  1. Paula,
    It’s snowing here in NH at the moment, so I know your frustration and impatience while ‘waiting for the buds to bloom’! I’m also no stranger to transitions and change … been going through some myself, and change (even for the better) is always uncomfortable. Where I live in the mountains, spring comes s-l-o-w-l-y, and I find it helps to sometimes change my focus; I try to look for little ever-present miracles, not the long-term ones. This morning, despite the fact that it is damp, bitter and raw, I saw one lone crocus popping up through frozen ground and snow. It was ‘spring in a nutshell’ though everything around it was pretty bleak! Sometimes I have to narrow my ‘canvas’ to see life’s beautiful landscape in miniature. Can’t say I’m always successful with this … sometimes nature’s canvas just looks brown! I like to hike a lot, and sometimes the trails I tread are pretty steep. This time of year, I’m not always in tip-top shape either, and I get pretty tired. What helps me is not looking at how far I have to go, but at the gound that’s right under my feet (it almost looks like level ground from that perspective!). Always good to keep the big goal in mind, but I find that breaking it down into do-able steps helps a lot!
    PS The fire hydrant in your pretty photo was funny! It reminded me of a wedding photo of my husband and I, taken eons ago. It was a great photo, but we never noticed this rusty little fire-engine scooter that had been my husband’s as a little boy … don’t know how or why it was there but sometimes, I guess, we can be ‘too much’ in the moment! Have a wonderful day! Spring IS a’comin’!!

  2. Cindy says:

    Sorry to hear about your pending divorce. It can be a difficult transition for you and the children. Living in the mountains of Colorado we still have alot of snow. I rejoice with ever little brown spot of dirt that shows through and speck of green grass along the side of the road. One thing that fills the time for me is finishing my inside projects. I tell myself that I am will not want to be inside once the nice weather gets here and I better get these projects finished. Kind of like a pending bloom. All the activity is on the inside right now – waiting for the right time to burst open.

  3. Gina Fisher says:

    While on our way back from our small one stoplight town, we were driving down a side dirt road when my little 8 yr old started shouting..STOP MOMMY! So I immediately hit the breaks. She popped out of her seat belt and bolted from the jeep. Next thing I know she is at the window presenting me with the first flowers of spring! The whole street was browns and greens but no flowers, she managed to find the very first patch of flowers for spring. We are in northern Florida and winter has just been holding on strong here. I snipped a little bit of needles off the pine tree by the road and made a nice little arrangement to put on our mantle. With our upcoming move to the top of NY next week, I am hoping these flowers will last me a while…since spring wont be coming again for us very soon!E;O)

  4. bobbie calgaro says:

    Dear Paula,
    Am also enjoying NC spring in Clemmons. But I know what you mean about transitions. Am going through a few of my own right now. We’ll all get through it after all the whole country is going through some pretty hefty transitions right now. Keep plugging girl, it will get better. After all we already have the saucer magnolias, lenten roses (mine are beautiful too),and some early leaves.
    bobbie

  5. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Lodge Lady and Cindy, wishing you green! And Gina, you have lots of new to look forward to, good luck! Bobbie, I know you, too, are looking at this Carolina Blue sky today!

  6. Heather Hansen says:

    Oh, well, when I’m needing some patience…hmmm…hard to say. Always pray, although, my dad and I joke "Dear Lord, give us patience and give it to us now 🙂 :). I try to occupy myself with the things that I love and try to share that with others. It helps redirect my focus. Although, I will it admit I do get much joy and satisfaction in seeing someone else smile. It helps bide the time.
    On a more material level, I also will go out for a for coffee..any excuse good, including more patience 🙂
    Again, more thoughtful, I remember that just because things aren’t happening the way I expect or right away, doesn’t mean the answer is no. Just means "not yet". So that helps me when I’m finding myself short on patience 🙂 Thanks for your blog:)

  7. carol branum says:

    Hi! Paula, We have Mud here,and lots of it!A few yellow daffidils are blooming,so their is hope of Spring.and I feel rotton and it is cold today,I have a runny nose,and a sore throat,first one I have had all winter.Ugh!And mud every where!But,I am still fairly in a good mood because I invited 25 ladies to my salon on Sunday that are members of a group named ANNIES PROJECT,it is a group for farm women.The only thing is I have to clean the shop,and now I feel rotton.Hopefully,I will feel better by the weekend.I can,t wait till it warms up,but now I have HOPE!Hang in there Paula,remember what I told ya before…think on bueatiful things!blessed be,Carol Branum,Lamar Mo.

  8. Marilyn Collins says:

    Hi Paula,
    Sorry about your divorce. Hope everything goes smoothly for you and your children. My sisters and I have faithfully read your columns in "Woman’s Day". We are so disapponted when they are not included in each issue. We do not have any children but enjoyed your Momfidence immensely. We feel like you are a friend and we have loved watching your children grow through your stories. Good luck in your new endeavors and hope to still see you in the magazine.
    Sincerely
    Marilyn

  9. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Marilyn, you’re so kind to say so, thanks. Yep they grew up a lot over nine years!

  10. Denise says:

    Hi Paula
    Transitions are difficult, since I too have been there, but I find inspirational books, ones where others have been through tough times and gotten through very helpful and empowering. They help me see that if they can get through their problems, then I too can get through mine. I find prayer and lots of it extremely helpful, doesn’t have to be formal, just talking to Jesus – friend to friend is wonderful. I will pray for you too, it sounds like you have a lot of things winding up and beginning too. Hope this decade is the beginning of many wonderful experiences with loved ones to share it with, both family friends and your blog friends here too. You know we all support you here and are all willing listeners when you need to "talk". It is sad to see some things ending when we envisioned them to last our lifetime. Take little steps, one day at a time with little goals along the way as well as your big one at the end. You are a pro-active type of person so I know you will get through this. Just know that we are here supporting you and cheering you on.
    love hugs, best wishes and prayers for the beginning of a wonderful and that transition time too. Don’t forget that you roots are still growing through this time and when they are big enough your tree will grow big and strong.
    All the best Paula. Have a glass of wine, some chocolate and read a good book (or your blog comments) and welcome in this new phase.

  11. Bonnie says:

    Paula, Transitions can also be blessings in disguise. From reading your Farm Girl blogs I know you are a sensitive, caring woman and mom, but also strong. This can be a new adventure for you and your children. You seem to have a great perspective on life. Enjoy the lovely transition to Spring. As an added note – I have not told you that I was inspired by your granola blog to make my own. Everyone loved it and it’s time to make more.
    Bonnie

  12. Marge says:

    Hi Paula! It seems to me that some part of my life is always in transition. I just get settled in one area and think I will have some peace when something else changes and I am in a period of transition again! Some of the transitions are ones I can control. Do I join (or leave) this group? Do I start a new project or learn a new skill? But so many of my transition periods come because of things I have no control over. My health changes; I grow older: a job ends; my family situation changes, etc. I find, if I can take some quiet time each day, it helps me to deal with the changes. For me, prayer and time spent with God are essential to get through the transitions. It is also important to me to realize I am not always in control and to not fight what I can’t control, but try to accept and even enjoy the changes. I pray that things will go well for you–and for all those facing periods of transition during this spring and summer.
    With wishes for sunny days, cool nights and lots of flowers! Marge

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Pick (or Stumble on) a “Bouquet Moment”

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
Who isn’t cheered by a bright bouquet? I always imagine farm tables set with little jelly-jar vases of wildflowers plucked from the surrounding countryside. Lacking a countryside around my suburban house – or even a proper cutting garden – I’ve been known to crouch in the lawn to clip tiny sheaves of violets, or reach up into the branches to clip a few stems of dogwood or rhododendron, just to get that sweet charge a bunch of blossoms brings.
Then the other day, a friend brought me a bunch of carrots from the market that made me swoon as if they were roses — or even my favorite, peonies. Seriously! These weren’t just any carrots: They were a rainbow of carrots, from deepest ruby red to creamy yellow, with every shade of orange in between. They had in their favor the surprise factor (I’d never seen such carrots!) and the fact that they happened to be variations on my favorite color. Their flourish of leafy greens didn’t hurt, either. Those carrots plumb made me happy.
And those carrots got me thinking… what would happen if I opened my eyes and heart to other unexpected “bouquets” that might be waiting to be stumbled on in a given day?


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  1. Debbie says:

    Bouquet moments come in all shapes, sizes and " phrases" for me. Just the other day I was reminiceing about the early days of my marriage to my hubby of 18 years. The days before kids,(now teens) elder care and the recession.

    We used to hop into my red convertable, top down, music up, wind in our hair…and drive. Once we were on our way he would always glance over at me and say, " Did I mention what a beautiful day it is?"… I just loved it when he would say that! The convertable is long gone… and with it that freeing feeling we used to " feel " more often…but the memory of his smile and the sound of his voice will forever be a bouquet moment for me… Now a days we hold out all winter until summer comes. When we want to have that " feeling " we jump into his boat and head out to the open water. Once we get out to a quiet spot he knows just what to say to make me smile.
    The kids are big enough to hang out on shore now! Yahoo!!!

  2. Denise says:

    What a beautiful blog entry. The magic of Gods creation – sunsets, "Jesus skies", so nicely named; rainbows, your blog entries, a nice heart warming email or a "I love you Mum" from my four yr old son, out of the blue and many others are my Bouquet Moments. I have learned to keep my eyes, hears and sense of smell open for these things. True happiness comes from these simple moments of joy that money just can’t buy. Helluyah to enjoying the true joy that is here for us if we are open enough to see them.
    Thanks for an absolutely beautiful post.
    I look forward to reading each entry you post and enjoy all of them. You have a gift thanks so much for sharing this with us. Hope you enjoy many more bouquet moments.

  3. Emily says:

    I feel sorry for folks who live in a black and white or grey world, even beige would be better, at least it’s something. But I the more colours I add to my home the more I love it! I’m not talking gaudy, off the wall colours, I am talking soft and gentle colours that sooth the eyes and soul. And the patchwork quilt in yellows and pastels that goes on the spare room bed to make company comfy. I wonder if they would want to come back to visit if the quilt was just grey or black…I don’t think I would feel quite as welcome if it was me!

  4. JoEllen says:

    Your post really made me stop and consider my frame of mind lately, Paula. Thank you for reminding me that no matter what is going on in my life, the boquets of joy are all around me — but it is up to me to take notice of them and enjoy their effects. I’ve been too caught up in "stuff" but today I will look for those unexpected gifts and appreciate this great life I have and the earth I live on. Thank you! By the way, you have a great friend to think of you in that way. Wait a minute . . . yesterday an elderly lady(my neighbor) that can barely walk came over and brought me a loaf of bread and cookies she bought at the store. I DO have a lot to be thankful for!

  5. I had a bouquet moment this very moment. I went to pick up 2 of my 4 grandsons this morning and the youngest of the 4 and also the youngest of all 6 grandchildren came walking down the hall from his room with a huge smile across his face. He has been a late walker and has been working on it since before Christmas. Just remember how they look when they first experience it. How shiny their faces get. That was my bouquet moment today and it made tears form in my eyes. Thanks for a new way of thinking.

  6. Peggy says:

    My moment today was also about grandkids. When they run in the door yelling MaMa! and jump into my arms…that is always a "bouquet" moment!

  7. What a lovely entry. Those special moments make so much out of a rough day 🙂

  8. Reba says:

    I have found, like you, that bouquets are flowers and then some. Lately, my bouquets have been the beautiful daffodils that I have picked from my yard. I have been blessed with so many blooms this year that I have had more than one. (I placed some of my compost in the area over my bulbs last year.) The the smell when I walk in my kitchen is heavenly, one of my favorite scents. Also, another "bouquet" that I received is a visit from a friend that I have not heard from in a while. A day at the park on Riverwalk was wonderful, and the visit left it’s lingering aroma long after they got back on the road to go home. Thanks for sharing and giving me the opportunity to share my "bouquets."

  9. Meg says:

    My special bouquet for today was the sound of a spring baseball game taking place just outside my window. The ting of a metal bat takes me back to being a little girl and watching my dad play softball with his company team or my brother as he played little league all summer long. We’re grown up now. I’m away at college and my brother is heading off to Afghanistan, but the sounds of baseball make me feel, just for a moment, we’re all back home.

  10. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Meg — I just love that one about the ting of the bat. Wishing you all safe journeys and a wonderful eventual reunion.

  11. Marilynne Adams says:

    Speaking of flowers (and spring), I just hosted my 4th annual "Perennial Party" for about 15 of my friends and neighbors. I am a Rural Farmgirl, but your post was in the gardening vein, so I thought I would tell about my party. Everyone brings plants they have dug and divided from their yard, or leftover seeds, houseplants, etc. to share with others instead of throwing it in the compost pile.
    I serve lunch, fancy and pretty, even tho everyone wears their grubby clothes, this year it was paninis and a salad bar, fresh fruit tart and other desserts, coffee, mango punch and wine. We visit and everyone goes home with a carload of new plants. The more guests, the more choices of plants. It would work as well in the city, suburbia or in the country. Even apartment dwellers could do a houseplant/balcony plant exchange. Try it, it’s fun!

  12. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Fun! Like a Christmas cookie exchange for spring!

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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
You’ve heard the expression “if these walls could talk…” Well mine does – at least, the rectangle that’s covered by a bulletin board above my desk seems to have plenty to say.
It’s a mishmash of photos, postcards, kids’ artwork, buttons and other random bits that have caught my eye. I’ve always kept a board like that. As I tack things up over time, it becomes less cork and more mirror, a reflection of the gal sticking in all those pushpins.
Want to know what it told me today?


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  1. Tina says:

    I leave "words of wisdom" to myself on the top page of notepads. The notepads end up sitting in a pile or in my desk drawers. Every once in a while I’ll be sorting through my things and come across my words of wisdom (quotes I’ve read or brilliant ideas of my own or interesting facts and health tips). Many times it will cheer me up.Some times I’ll stash the notepad away to find again at a later date.

  2. Nancy says:

    I really enjoy your blog…And as always, reading these touch my heart…I find my greatest comfort, wisdon, peace & joy in reading my bible every day. For me, prayer helps & has helped answer the toughest problems in my life. And for an instant smile, I look to my family picture wall. To see my children’s & grandchildren’s smiles always lightens my heart and I am very thankful for all my live’s blessings…

  3. TJ says:

    I love this! As a write-from-home mom of two preschoolers (homeschooled), I find myself sometimes missing "me"… I’m going to revamp the corkboard in "mommy’s bathroom" to remind me of all the other things I am – horsewoman, inactive pilot, hiker, gardener, child of God! My life experiences and interests add to my overall character, which benefits my husband and kids as well. Thanks for this wonderful reminder and encouragement to not only "be" but to also enjoy ourselves!!! ~TJ

  4. Emily says:

    I have a little room in our basement I call my ‘Craft Room’. It is slowly becoming a bulletin board with walls. I keep cards and hand drawn pictures and notes from special folk. I have photos and memorabilia tacked on the walls or stuck in baskets and boxes everywhere. I know the room would look much neater and organized if I started getting rid of these scraps and mementos but then where would my inspiration and memories come from? I can’t pare it down to a bulletin board but it gives me the same feeling. A glance or a riffle through a pile can start something new and meaningful!

  5. Janice K. says:

    I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog! Last week I actually made the granola and it is wonderful.. Now I will continue to make my own!
    My favorite clipping on my bulletin board is of the character ‘Rose is Rose’. ‘Let’s see now, shall I start planning dinner, or shall I find a ribbon of highway and see where it takes me?’ Then, ‘Alter egos have NO appreciation for a painstakingly assembled recipe file!’

  6. Sonya says:

    I love what Paula has done with her board. It is a glimps into herself that was a smiling moment.
    As an artist, I love to tack quotes that inspire me to create. Sometimes they come from fortune cookies, sometimes from a book I’m reading & often times from scripture. I’ll sprinkle these quotes with scraps of color that bring me joy. Ribbon; yarn; paper, it doesn’t matter as long as it lifts my heart. Family photos; glittered butterflies; jewelry that I’ve made, all find a place tucked amongst my reminders to… LOOK UP!!
    One of my favorite quotes is this..,"Two men looked through prison bars, one saw mud the other stars." I don’t know it’s author but I know it’s inspiration. Keep your eyes above the mud of this life. Live life with expectant joy, even when in times of difficulty.
    My prison bars have been the,constant,arm pain that I have suffered with for a year now. As an artist, it has been very difficult to take out my art supplies, only to put them back within minutes, because of the pain.
    This "prison" has taught me to find new ways to express myself, & find my purpose during this season of my life. I am now free to help two family members, that are in worse physical shape than me, and that couldn’t happen when I was busy creating my art from morning till night. I have enjoyed encouraging others in pain, & I’ve learned to accept my home the way it is, & not ache over every little thing that is out of place. I guess the name of my board would be..HOPE!
    Sonya Palumbo

  7. Tara says:

    Funnily enough I am sitting at my laptop reading this today which sits on my sewing table infront of my Inspiration board… Instead of in the computer room where I usually check my emails. Coincidence?? I don’t think so.
    What a wonderful board! I have two Inspiration boards (thats what I call them) and they are in my sewing room and my laundry room! 🙂 my sewing room board has pictures quotes, colors, etc that, like you, caught my eye and I wanted to post them to inspire me when I’m sewing. Although, oftentimes I just come in here and sit for a few minutes and look at the board and it inspires me in other ways. The board in my laundry room is newer and doesn’t have as much "stuff" but it has my homemade laundry soap recipe handy and pictures of my girls, things that make me happy. So i guess I have a Happy board and an Inspiration board. Thank you so much for this post! It made my day.

  8. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Sandy–thanks for the whisper comment and interesting info! Mystery solved! ps

  9. Marcia says:

    How we desire to reach for the tangible and document it in some form that we will refer back to when desired; catching it and tucking it away; like the gathering of fireflies into our jar. Once in the jar we watch, laugh, get excited, and then we discover that in order for joy to remain we must let them fly away. In releasing comes the true fulfillment, and we will forever remember. Our minds are the inspiration boards; with us, wherever we may go.

  10. Denise says:

    Thanks for your lovely blog. My kitchen fridge and my notebook – which I keep in my bag are the two places that I keep things that inspire me and feel happy when I look at them. My notebook has my dreams and brochures of things I wish to do in the future as well as inspirational quotes and cards.
    My devotional book is also inspiring for me every day too.
    Remember God is watching over you and He can help you any and all the times you need it. He’s the best friend there is. Thanks again. I look forward to reading each entry you make. It brings joy to my heart to know there are like minded ladies out there in the world and we are united by our love of the simple things that bring the most pleasure in life. Keep up the good work – now I sound like a teacher which I’m not. lol

  11. Cindy L says:

    Nice to find your blog and to see that suburban living is recognized by the "farm community" too, if our hearts are in the right places. Your bulletin board looks like mine, and I think it’s a fine place to tell our daily stories. I also keep a journal and a blog (am also a professional writer), so my stuff is everywhere!

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A Hug in a Bowl

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
Are you the granola type? No, I’m not probing about your wardrobe or your voter registration!
“Granola” seems to carry as many connotations as a bowl of it has ingredients – few of them having to do with breakfast. (Didn’t Birkenstocks and Berkeley politics cross your mind?)
I don’t know how the world’s best cereal became the icon of a lifestyle, because any of us can enjoy this hug in a bowl. The word, for me, conjures up wooden spoons, thick crockery, pure whole ingredients, and home — and when made from scratch, a satisfying sense of accomplishment. Even a non-Julia Child like me, an Aga wannabe with a suburban stovetop oven – can create a batch of homemade granola worth yumming over. And it’s easy. Come watch!

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  1. Carol says:

    Ahhh! I can almost smell the deliciousness by just reading your instructions! I’m definitely pulling out the stops and heading right to the store to stock up on all the ingredients – what a great, healthy Valentine alternative. I’m thinking a little ‘chocolate granola’? Thanks for your lovely sharing!

  2. Jan S. says:

    Thank you for allowing me to follow the ‘vague series of steps’ from your head!! What a great idea for the day (from my head to yours)….

  3. JoEllen says:

    Paula, that sounds so delicious and just the thing to read and look at on this early cold morning! I think I’ll stop at the store and get some ingredients to make your "hug in a bowl" for tomorrow morning. It goes along with my endeavor to eat healthier this year and avoid a lot of digestion problems that I have been having. God bless you and thank you allowing us to share cooking with you via the web!

  4. Marion Armstrong says:

    This sounds great! I have tried making granola in the past, but was frustrated because I didn’t have exactly what the recipe called for. I love it, and it is hard for me to buy it because I have numerous food allergies. So, knowing that it is "forgiving" and I can put in anything I wish–that is great, very freeing for me. Thank you! {When you get to be past 70 and "over the hill," you need freeing things!} It’s a very snowy day here in Michigan, and this would be a good shut-in project to do right today–especially having the oven on to warm up our chilly kitchen. Thank you again–I will enjoy!!

  5. We were just talking about our craving for granola. Thank you so much…we shall try this recipe today. Blessings to you.

  6. Emily says:

    I miss granola and big warm bowls of oatmeal but since I have a gluten intolerance I have to avoid it. There are a few things you can use to substitute but nothing is quite the same. ( I even tried a ‘gluten free’ version but that ended in bad results!)
    But your concoction looks really yummy and would certainly be on my list of recipes to try if I could. Oh well… :o(

  7. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Several people have written me to mention the lack of chocolate chips in this recipe. To which I say, *Why didn’t I think of that?!!* Any other great missing ingredients??

  8. Jennifer says:

    I’m making some today! I think granola may also help with the winter blah’s. The sun has not been out in days, weeks??? Some homemade granola is the ticket. Thanks for the inspiration Paula.

  9. kay says:

    YUMMO….Thanks for the "No Rules" recipe.

  10. Shery says:

    Hi Paula, Thanks so much for taking the time to share your recipe. I LOVE granola and it has been a long time since I made it from scratch. Now I just have to skidaddle to town and get the ingredients I don’t already have on hand. I think I’ll have to add coconut too. Happy Trails Sister!

  11. Denise says:

    Thanks Paula, looks and sounds very yummy! Have wanted to make my own, but thought it was more complicated to make. Since seeing your receipe, I’m definitely going to make it, nothing tastes better than real home cooked food.
    Cheers

  12. Ellen Tracy says:

    I made your granola and it was yummy! Is there any way to make granola bars? My hubby really liked the granola, but wanted to be able to take it on the go so he wanted bars.
    Thanks for your help

  13. Suburban Farmgirl says:

    Granola bars — great idea! I wish I knew…will have to hunt a recipe down or maybe experiment…probably a little more honey and/or oil to make it stickier??

  14. Ellen says:

    Thanks Paula. I am going to make the granola again today and will try increasing the honey & oil. Maybe dividing the batch into 2 sheet pans and pressing it down will help? I will let you know how it turns out. If you have any suggestions let me know.

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More Zen in ’10!

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
What makes you calllllllllllllllllllm? Do you have to sit very still and chant “ommmmmmmmm” to chill — or can you hustle about your busy day carrying a place of peace and serenity within you all the while?
Two recent discussions have reminded me how much our attitude influences our quality of life. Unlike circumstance and hard knocks – things you can’t always change — attitude is something we get to pick. It’s the place on the self-tuner where we choose to set our emotional dial. (Hmmm, will I pick wallow-on-the-floor-in-a-pity-party-for-one today? Or will I put my energy toward counting blessings and getting the laundry done?)
One of my recent attitude-bending conversations was with my sister-in-law, a woman who should know something about stress. Her six kids fall between ages 4 and 13 (all hers by birth, btw, and every single darn one of them entering this world between 10 and 11 pounds!). Her 80-something parents live in a wing my brother built onto their house for them.
Until shortly before he died last year, Laura (that’s her below) had my dad living in her house, too, in her former reading nook, a room she gave up so my brother could convert it into a main-floor bedroom for Dad. (Even more generously, she gave up her pantry so he could turn the space into a shower in the adjacent bathroom.) And did I mention the two dogs? Two cats? The garden? The part-time job as the church pianist? The nightly cooking for 10? Like I said, she knows from stress.

Anyway, Laura (who is as cheerful and calm as they come) told me her new motto is…

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  1. Joy says:

    Hi Paula, I have read your articles in Woman’s Day and just came over the Mary Jane’s Farm and was glad to see you on here. Good reminder to slow down. I get together with two other girl friends every year and do a girl’s trip. They really are good for the soul.
    Thanks for sharing your beautiful sister in law with us. She’s amazing. I enjoyed seeing the pictures of you and your girls. So pretty – all of you.
    ♥ Joy

  2. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    hey thanks, Joy!

  3. Emily says:

    I think you have hit the nail on the head. We don’t NEED all that stuff and stress in our lives. The older I get the wiser I get…(hehehe)…not necessarily in the brains department but in the ‘do what is necessary and ditch the rest’ way. Just don’t wait as long as I did to find that out!
    Enjoy your day!

  4. Your Sister-in-law is amazing. I was tired just reading about all her responsibilities. She is truly one in a million. She is a keeper Paula !!! Loved the picture!!

  5. Jan says:

    I just wanted to tell you that I always find your thoughts and comments the closest to my heart! Today I actually ‘allowed’ myself to stay in bed and read a Jan Karon book, the eighth in the series. These are my most favorite books of all time, comforting, loving, always setting my mind at ease. This is my second time reading the series and I am still struck with the fact that they are so pertinent with my life and it’s travels. A good way for me to drift off to sleep or unplug from the anxieties of daily life.
    Spring is coming and soon I will be LOST in my garden…
    I loved seeing the smiling females in your family.

  6. Debbs4 says:

    Thanks for the encouraging article! Contentment with your lot in life is a decision that we each must make, each day and with each circumstance that comes our way. Being flexible in what life throws us makes our life bearable. Just like your sis, who has had many different life events thrown at her, she is both flexible and decisive in how she lives, contented and happy. She is a great example to emulate and I am glad you chose to share her life with us here.

  7. Judith McQuaig says:

    Your comments yesterday came as a real blessing to me. Am in the middle of a hugh family crisis (over which I have no control) and awakened this morning with that heavy feeling hanging over me…I’m printing off your 10 ways to post on the refrig to remind me of the ways in which I can be proactive as well as the many blessings God continues to provide.

  8. Nancy Rekow says:

    Hi Paula,
    How true! Thanks for this and all your other insightful blurbs, filled with vivid details. For stress, which always lurks and hovers nowadays, I’ve found yoga extremely helpful over the years. Yoga truly works wonders with our bodies and our nervous systems–even if our bodies ere weaker, slower, more achy–as mine certainly was. Yoga, practiced for many centuries, is a system that both relaxes and energizes at the same time….But for me, a most stress-reducing part of yoga is the breathing techniques, referred to as pranayama–particularly alternate nostril breathing, which I do when stress and nerves interfere with functioning….Maybe try it….read about it, find a teacher or DVD that works for you. And good luck. Nancy Rekow

  9. Denise says:

    Right on Paula, this is what I always say, attitude is a choice we make all the time.
    Thanks so much for sharing your sister in law. And don’t forget that you too have a lot of juggling to do and do it well. I am working on getting in the "zen zone" with calming myself – not everything needs to be done today, and I don’t need to be back at work until tomorrow morning, so I still have plenty of time to do what I Really need to do and leave the rest.
    Thanks again for a timely reminder.
    Love and hugs
    Denise x

  10. Betsy Cline says:

    With age comes the knowledge that life is too short not to enjoy. Things I used to worry about and stress over have been put aside. I want to enjoy this wonderful life. There are alot of things going on with family and friends that is life threatening. Yes, I think and pray about it but you know I can’t do anything to heal them. I like the 10 rules and will copy them down to remind me to chill out. One thing I do when life gets too much is call my best friend in Ohio and see how everything is going with her new life. Another thing is I have gotten a part time job in a Scrapbook store where I really have no worries and can just enjoy helping people and having fun.
    I really enjoy these blogs.

  11. Brenda says:

    Paula I really do like your suggestions on staying calm. I have a best friend from high school and when ever either one of us has something going on that is stressful, we will just call each other and before we hang up, we are usually laughing. It seems to be the best medicine. Also, going to prayer is a must. Knowing that the Lord is always right there waiting for me to ask for his help. Then I just fix myself a bubble bath and then snuggle up with a good book. And yes I agree that with age, you realize what is really important and taking care of yourself is certainly very important. I live by the Serenity Prayer! It’s the only way for me to get through all life hands you.

  12. Carol says:

    Thanks so much for that wonderful article. I especially liked reading about your brother and sister in law. I love people like that. They make the world a better place.
    As for stress busters: I like to look at the stars at night and the sky during the day. Helps to remind me how blessed we are, that we have been given birds to serenade us, flowers to smell and when it is too dark to see the flowerss or too late to hear the birds, we only have to look at the beautiful glittering stars in the sky.

  13. Cindy says:

    Wow! This article has hit home! I am a "farmgirl" of the 50’s & 60’s! I so love the calmness, peacefulness and values of those days gone by. These past months I have been soul-searcing as I lost my job and doing just what this article discusses and it’s working! Stepping back, taking in all that God has given us and enjoying every minute of His creation! It is the "zen" I’ve needed. I love your sister-in-laws "more zen in ’10" for it’s what I’ve been doing as well…am now sharing this with my family: to step back and as the old saying goes: "stop and smell the roses".for life is too short to be so stressed. Would have loved to have realized this 20 years ago! Thanks for making my day!

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Happy Trails, Sweet Crush Pernell

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
I was an Adam girl. Still am. Always will be, even though Pernell Roberts isn’t with us any more. He died this week of pancreatic cancer at 81.
Anna Quindlen famously wrote how her fellow teenagers, circa 1964, were divided among “Paul girls,” “John girls,” “George girls,” or “Ringo girls.” The four “Bonanza” stars didn’t define and consume my adolescence the way the Beatles did hers, not least because by the time I discovered the show, it was already just in endless re-runs. But among its loyal fans in any year – and I suspect there are fresh ones hatching — there’s one Cartwright for whom your heart beats faster during the rotating horseback cameos in the opening credits. You’re an Adam girl, a Little Joe girl, a Hoss girl, or a Pa girl.
Joe girls – the biggest group – are the ones who like ‘em cute and flirtatious, usually because they’re cute and flirtatious themselves. Hoss girls tend to be bold renegades making a statement (it’s the equivalent of the “Ringo” pick). Pa girls are mostly grandmothers (mine, for instance).
We Adam girls are different. We long for…


Continue reading

  1. Jeanine says:

    I must admit, I was a Little Joe girl but I was a little young in the 60s. I was only two in 1964 so I probably watched the reruns in the 70s and thought they were happening right now! Great song of Pernell’s.

  2. TJ Kear says:

    I am a Hoss girl. I cried when he died. He was a gentle giant with a big heart.

  3. Patty Schultz says:

    That was such a sweet and tender tribute. Thanks Paula

  4. Brenda says:

    I am an Adam girl too. I always thought I was the only one in the world! Thanks for sharing this. I didn’t know he had passed. Adam was such the strong, quiet, composed, intelligent one. He displayed a broad and vigorous education. He usually led in integrity and sacrifice. We are lessened. Even though I did not hear anything of him of late, it was nice to pat the place where he was and feel comforted by his presence. Now he is legend – at least to me (and you). Never knew he was from Waycross! Never liked Waycross.

  5. Marie says:

    I love the show Bonanza! All of the guys were great.
    However, after the show was in reruns and the actors were going on to other things, I was able to see Pernell Roberts in a play in Austin, Texas – and of all things, part of the same cast as Dawn Wells (Mary Ann of Gilligan’s Island).

  6. CathieG says:

    I loved the show! I don’t know if I had a favorite…they all were so cool in their own way…I saw Loren Green at a stock show when I was a youngin and just swooned…Hoss was so gentle…LiL Joe was a great crier(and was the reason I sat thru Little House on the Prairie) but Adam had that oh so wonderful something about him. I had forgotten about Trapper John MD!

  7. Meme says:

    I was raised infront of weatern shows and movies but Bonanza is still a fav. I love Barbara Stanwick and I have to say I favored Hoss. I didn’t know Pernell Roberts was involved in Civil Rights…very interesting.

  8. emily says:

    Now I feel old…I watched the show when it aired originally!

  9. carol branum says:

    hi Paula,yes,I read that in the Sunday paper,so sad.I almost cryed.We watched the show religiously in our home."Hoss" is my momma,s third cousin,she even had a split in her teeth just like his.All of her brothers kinda have that look,and all the men cousins too.So,we watched every week…My grama had that record alumb of Pernell Roberts also.Bonanza was a big part of our lives.All of the men were handsome,I did,nt really have a favorite.Little Joe kind of stole the spotlight from Roberts,and I think that hurt him…He will be missed.blessed be,Carol Branum,Lamar Mo.themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com

  10. Patsy Robertson says:

    Thanks for sharing this Paula. I did not know he could sing. He was so handsome and he and Little Joe were my favorites. I am so sorry he is gone.

  11. Denise says:

    Gorgeous tribute, so true born in the 70’s and no tv until 17 well, I missed all this so will have to go and watch them no – they’re on dvd i believe.
    loved the humour too.
    keep on keeping on.
    Cheers Paula.

  12. Carmen says:

    I watched the show from the start. I was a Hoss girl although I was only twelve when the show started. He certainly wasn’t my type, I liked skinny guys with long hair, but I had such a crush on Dan Blocker for years. He he was such a nice guy in real life also. He was famous but still took time to teach when he wasn’t filming. I cried when I heard he had died. Once in a while I watch reruns and think of what a waste that he died at 44.

  13. Mary says:

    OHHHHHH! Hadn’t heard that Pernell had passed on. He was a great actor, and YES! I was hooked, too! yes, I was. he was so handsome, and so mature and so intelligent!

  14. KimberlyD says:

    I really wasn’t for any of them on Ponderosa even though I did watch the reruns in the 70’s. I do think that was a nice tribute to Pernell Roberts though. I was a huge Shaun Cassidy fan, I had his posters on my wall and owned his 8 tracks. Now don’t that date me…lol!

  15. Paula says:

    I think we’re about evenly split on our favorite Cartwright….

  16. Tana says:

    I,too, was an "Adam Girl" and his qualities followed my search for the right man to spend my life with. However I never realized how much he was like Adam until now. Pernell Robert’s was a man who stood for what was right and tried to do what he could to make the situation better for all involved.
    Thank you for taking the time to write about his life. He will be long remembered by many.

  17. susan arkles says:

    Paula, As a young girl I was a die hard Joe girl. Now that I’m 61 I find myself favoring Pa.,of course having a Hop Sing around woulden’t be bad either!

  18. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Oh no, can’t forget Hop Sing. He and Sheriff Coffey and the other sheriff (deputy? the one played by Kurt Russell’s dad Bing) all deserved more character development, too!

  19. carolj says:

    Pernell grew up in Waycross next door to my grandmother. Her memory of him was the bad little boy who tore up her flowers. Although I was a Joe girl, I must say I would pick Adam today. I guess pretty faces don’t mean as much as they used to now that I am 50 plus. Loved your take on things.

  20. Deborah M. says:

    Paula thanks for the info on "Adam". Yes, even though all my friends were "Joe’s girls" (and I tried to fit in for awhile) I was an Adam’s girl. I like the streghtn of the character he played.

  21. Thanks for the sweet remembrances of Pernell. My tribute to him is at http://circlemending.blogspot.com/2010/01/memorial-for-my-friend-pernell-roberts.html

    Best wishes, Jean

  22. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Jean, thanks for writing so we could all see your lovely tribute! I loved your observation: "I believe that who we are is largely a result of the people we have connected with in our lives."
    Paula

  23. Erin says:

    Paula,
    Your book touched me when it first came out and I learned then that you were an Adam girl. I wrote you then and commented on my own Adam crush. It brings a smile to my face to be remembering that again now. Thanks again for sharing his loss. Now I feel old!

  24. Mountain Laurel says:

    I loved Bonanza and my favorite was Pernell Roberts, although Little Joe was cute.

  25. Faith says:

    I am a Hoss girl, and an Adam girl….I loved the gentleness and bear like quality of Hoss, and the quiet,manly man of Adam. It was danger to fall in love with any of the Cartwrights, for surely something would befall either the lady or the relationship.

  26. Mamakat says:

    I watched "Bonanza" reruns as a child in the ’70s, but I didn’t notice Pernell until I started watching "Trapper John, M.D." I liked him as an older, balding-and-graying-a-bit man with a beard. It was only years later watching "Bonanza" reruns again that I realized who he was on that show.

  27. Megan says:

    I was born in the mid-eighties, but I got into Bonanza when they started airing on MeTV. I am totally an Adam girl! Strong, intelligent, and beautiful…"sigh".

    Edward Cullen, eat your heart out! 🙂

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How I'm Getting From A to B

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
I sure wish I still had this patchwork quilt (below). As quilts go, I own finer specimens (a good subject for a future post, actually, for what quicker way is there to farmgirlize your suburban house than by its bedding?). But this particular quilt — that’s my younger sister posing in front of it when she herself was much younger — is beloved in part because it was made by me.
Entirely of potholders.
Not the comfy-coziest of quilt materials, I admit. But here’s the more specific reason I love it: The amazing variety of potholder patterns I came up with for the squares. A bag of raw material, time to tinker, the courage to try, allowing yourself the freedom to make mistakes, and voila! Possibility! No such thing as one kind of potholder. Looking at things in new ways is the best kind of momentum I know.

For example:

Continue reading

  1. Sharon says:

    Paula!

    I used to make these potholders…although I never thought to make a quilt out of them! After makeing probably 150 of them, my mother just…quietly…stopped replenishing my fabric loops. Of course, my parents continued to feed my creativity with every art and candle making supply I could ever wish for. It’s amazing how something as insignificant as a potholder can bring so many great memories to the surface. THANK YOU for reminding me of how thrilled my mom and grandmothers pretended to be when they got potholder after potholder! Last, I am so sorry for the loss of your father. You were so very lucky to have him as long as you did. I lost mine when he was only 62 – eleven years ago. It feels like yesterday, and for over a year I woke up needing to talk to him, not immediatley remembering that he was no longer here. Luckily, I had a supportive husband and two beautiful daughters…and it became clear to me that I had to move forward. You will too. Over time, losing my dad, while difficult to bear, became less raw and painful. I know how much he loved me….and he knew how much I loved him. For now, that has to be enough. Thank God I still have my Mom! I hope the day comes that your father’s passing will not be the first thing you remember when you wake up. Just treasure the great things he taught you and the impact he had on your life. You and your sibling(s), after all, are a continuation of his life. What more could a parent ask for?

  2. TJ Kear says:

    I made & sold a many of those potholders on my mom’s metal maker and bought a plastic one for my boys who did the same. Never thought to make a quilt but did think of making a rug, but never did.

  3. CathieG says:

    I use to love those looms! I gave one to my granddaughter when she was ten. It’s funny you bring this up today…I have just started a book on opening up to creativity…so the two go hand-in-hand as some of the advice is the same. Thanks for the blog!

  4. Emily says:

    Hmmm….you did mention a brother away at uni…could he have packed a big warm quilt to take back with him??? 😀
    It’s amazing what wonderful arts and crafts young minds can come up with. A good reason to give children lots of encouragement and plenty of supplies! Love your story.

  5. Marilyn Collins says:

    Seeing those potholders brought back so many memories of summer afternoons many years ago. My twin sister and I along with a few friends would sit for hours making all color combinations of potholders. The quilt is a good idea, wish we would have thought of that!
    Marilyn

  6. Brenda says:

    I remember making these as well and enjoyed it so much that later in life i made placemats using a cut out shape with nails around the edge. These were made using Rug Yarn which is also very study and last a long time. I have used them on my table and under lamps or plants to protect the table. You imagination is expanded like a childs in doing this. It is great fun even if I’m way past childhood.

  7. Marcia says:

    Life also is like the weaving. Don’t stagnate yourself by doing the same routine day in and day out; even the smallest alteration to your typical day is fresh and invigorating. Be spontaneous, fearless, encouraged to step out and do the one thing that you have been thinking of for so long. I did, and my life is weaving new moments!!

  8. sherry mcmillan says:

    I was a "Hoss" girl! Met him at Burdines (a department store) in Fort Lauderdale Florida in the 1960’s. My Dad took me and lifted me up to give him a big kiss on the cheek! He returned the gester! I was in heaven!
    I loved his smile and teady-bear hug.
    You just can’t replace those Cartwright men!
    Loved your story.

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When Change Pours Forth

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
It’s said that there are years that ask questions and years that give answers. I’m not sure which was 2009 for me. More like a year that kept the ground shifting with transition. (Details in a second.)
I’m writing this looking at a lovely teapot on my desk. I own an inordinate number of pots and pitchers. I’ve always been drawn to them. I never understood why. After all, you can only use so many pitchers in an everyday kitchen. It’s not like I have to haul water or keep one handy at every washbasin, for example.
Partly, pitchers and teapots are farmgirly icons: Utilitarian, comforting in their roundness, often pretty, too. But I now think I’m also drawn to the concept of a pitcher: You fill it up, pour it out, and repeat as needed. It’s versatile: Tea, water, juice, syrup, cinnamon sticks, bread sticks, a cheering bunch of flowers, a thought-provoking spray of branches. Pitchers brim with the potential of what might come next.

That’s my interpretation, anyway, and I’m sticking with it. And I know something of both pitchers and transitions. Here’s what’s happened, oh, just this past year, for instance:

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  1. Janice K. says:

    Only time will tell…I lost my mom in December. Toward the end I likened us to layers of an onion. Any problems, distractions, issues, had been peeled away and we were down to our most basic selves. Mother and daughter and hearts full of love..In other times of my life I would not have been able to devote this gift of time. Now I find that I am gravitating to certain items of mom’s that remind me of all of the moments that we shared as a family. Anything that gives us comfort is deserved!
    I love your collection and the ability to appreciate and seak out that which gives you pleasure. You deserve it, as do I! This is a year for refilling!

  2. Marie says:

    Bless your heart! What a year for you. It appears you have things well in hand – at least in the forefront. I will be praying for you and your family, and I’m sure you will experience many happy, pleasureful events this year. Onward!!

  3. emily says:

    Change is often difficult and sometimes we are in such pain we don’t realize until much later what we have accomplished, much like childbirth. I have often said that things happen for a reason and even if we don’t understand it at the time, be patient and the end results are often better than we imagined they could be! I love the idea of pouring out the old and refilling with the new. It may leave an empty spot for awhile but anyone who has ever cleared off a shelf or a cupboard drawer, knows they don’t stay empty long and soon your life will fill up as well. It’s up to you what you refill with! :o)

  4. Sally says:

    Hi Paula,

    God bless you for opening up to us. I know a little bit about change too. 2005 was the year for me. It started off with me losing my dad, and then my aunt, followed by my nephew and finally my cousin all within a couple months of each other. We come through not knowing how to react sometimes. But with Gods help and family, what would we do without family, we get through it.
    I also have a passion for things. Mine is birdhouses. I have them everywhere. But like you I also enjoy using nice things that I have in my china cabinets. I figure there is no sense in just having them to look at, use them. Especially if it makes you feel good when you do.

    Thanks for you post. God Bless.
    Sally

  5. Blessings to you in this time of change. Wishing you peace until you can look backwards and see how all was meant to be.

    Jen

  6. Jamie says:

    When life hands me lemons I too pull at things that bring me the most comfort. Like moms home cookin’ preparing a gourmet meal just for me and then serving it on the "special" dishes helps me remember my value. Sometimes I’ll get myself all dressed up looking prettier than I have in months and take myself out window shopping and then for lunch in a restaurant. At times like these it is important to remember we do not base our worth on anyone other than ourself, even our children who have shaped and molded our lives so effortlessly can’t and shouldn’t give us value.
    Bravo to you for taking the steps to remember who you are and what you love. Jamie

  7. TJ says:

    What a crummy, hard bunch of things to live through! I’m so sorry for your losses and your changes. It must be hard to breath deeply some mornings…

    I think that when life throws us so many curveballs and changes in one year, we tend to gravitate toward the things that have lasted, especially those crafted and touched by our beloveds. They remind us of the relationships (daughters and great grandmothers) that mean so much to us, and even the things that weren’t originally FROM our family remind us of the women who have likely been through things like those challenging us now, before. A way to tap in to the Sisterhood, focusing on beauty and function instead of loss and change. There is a verse in the bible about focusing our minds on what is good and pure and peaceful… I used to think that advice to be "pollyanna" but the older I get, the more I see the value in the instruction. And pitchers and teapots (I have a collection too!) are items that fit those criteria!

    I hope that 2010 brings dawn…

  8. jodi says:

    I always heard my mother say, when one door closes another one opens. I know many doors have closed for you, but now you have a clean slate, with a chance to refill the room left with what you want, not what circumstances made you do. You go girl! Love and hope sent your way. Thanks for sharing.

  9. Robin says:

    I am so sorry to read of your difficult year. I can relate somewhat. The past 15 months have been very difficult for our family. Betrayals, psycologists, sky high bills, social workers, job lose, adult children problems, heartache, missing granchildren, the list goes on and on….

    I collect teapots and you have just inspired me to reach into the hutch and pull out a couple and use them and enjoy them.

    Praying 2009 is a better year for you and your family.

  10. carol branum says:

    Dearest Paula,I am so sorry,you have gone through a lot,it is a wonder that your able to carry on,I had a bad year in 2005,I thought it was the end of the world,one thing bad after another just kept happening.But,things do get better,even if you don,t think they ever will again.The ladies that comment on this blog have left wonderful comments,make sure to read them over and over when your feeling low.Love the tea pots,I am also a collector,I have a bear just like yours.I try to concentrate on bueatiful things also,and your gona laugh,but I sing a couple of songs that help.One is from the sound of music,favorite things,and one is from church,sing and be happy,anyway it helps.Or put on some cherry music.Things will get better in time.Blessed be,Carol Branum ,lamar Mo.themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com

  11. Jenny says:

    ..thankyou for your insite and wisdom. My prayer is for God to fill your teapot with much more to pour out to new readers everywhere. I’m going to copy this for my friend Joan who is retiring this year from being the librarian at a local elementary school. She’s poured out alot of fun and love for books to her students throughout the years, and I pray that her teapot would be filled with a wonderful and exciting life ahead of her, filled to the brim..love ya Joan, from your library helper, Jen

  12. Meme says:

    I have a close friend who’s husband left her with 6 children. She is doing well, and I asked her how. Her words to me are my words to you and all farmgirls who are being tried by fire! She said that when a door closes another door won’t open, but a window, that moves us forward. Plus you have to have faith to jump out of a window!

  13. Reba says:

    A few years ago (1999 to be exact, does that tell you I remember the pain?)when I thought "What am I going to do now?" and circumstances were so tough in my life that I thought I would grieve myself to death, I received a new revelation of how to view my life and situation. This may be not-so-big to some but it was to me. I didn’t choose my circumstances, but I could choose to enjoy different aspects of what was happening, and looking for an adventure in solving some part of it. It was either grieve myself to death or learn to see how to enjoy life in this. It was a light bulb moment and I literally said out loud, "I’m going to enjoy it," this special time given to me. And now I can say—I have. Many times other situations have come and I still refer back to that time in my thought life and remember, "Enjoy life today" and "what good is in this situation now" or "what is possible to change or solve," then do like Carol said in her comments, sing. Have a blessed uplifting thought life and day today!!

  14. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    What a great, uplifting flock of chickens you are! I agree, transitions aren’t by definition negative…anyway every single day is rife with them, when you think about it…

  15. Tammy says:

    Bless your heart. You have certainly had many transitions of change. I am a tea drinker..the kind you steep…daily. It is where I can shut out the chaos of the world and just be still. I have a collection of teapots and teacups and so I use a different one each day and some are part of the decoration of my house. I will certainly be praying for you. May this year bring you many blessings.

  16. Marilyn says:

    Hi Paula,
    Sorry to hear about your awful year. 2010 can only get better. You must be so proud of your son. He must be a talented young man to get in a special school. It is too bad about you and your husband’s separation. I hope you can find a nice new place to call home. You will be in my prayers and thoughts. I know how you miss your father, I still miss my dad and he is gone almost 20 years. Peace and Love,
    Marilyn

  17. Candy says:

    Hi! Until reading your blog and everyone’s comments I thought I was the only one who started steeping pots of tea for comfort (Usually I’m a coffee drinker!) You know, when you get an icky diagnosis or some other bad situation that just leaves you kind of "shell shocked", what is it about a hot "cuppa" and a warm puppy that somehow helps…..

  18. SuburbanFarmgirl says:

    Agreed! So, fellow tea lovers, what are your favorite kinds? Or like me do you steep favorite kinds for different circumstances??

  19. Bonnie Russell says:

    Hi, Paula and fellow would-be farm girls:

    I share your love of the simpler things of life that soothe
    us and provide therapy, especially when life gets complicated and we seek to retreat and console or renew our minds and hearts. I cook and bake, I write, I paint and crochet, I putter in the garden and always have plants at my windows and fresh flowers in a vase in my kitchen, a way I treat myself.

    I share your sorrow about the loss of your parents. I lost my dad 12 years ago and my mother just a year and a half ago and I find myself doing many of the things they loved doing, remembering them as I continue traditions they instilled in me. I wrap myself in Mom’s afghan often, imagining her little arms around me as I cuddled next to her just two years ago telling her, "I’m still your little girl, Mom."

    As this Christmas without her was especially hard for me, she was often on my mind, and then I started finding dimes in odd places like friends of mine claimed they found shiney pennies. I guess the one that really got my attention was one I found inside one of my socks as I pulled it out of the drier! That’s just one little way she’s let me know she is still with me.

    One of the things Mom loved to do is drink coffee or tea from a bone china cup, so I got in a habit of it, and I just began a collection of them…ones with lovely rose patterns on them. As yet, I’ve only found one pitcher, but no teapots as yet, but I will add one to my small collection soon. It is indeed a treat and a comfort to sip from china and remember the good times.

    Now, along with sipping my morning tea or coffee, I browse through my new subscription of Farm Girl Magazine, and it renews the farm girl in me, reminding me of simpler times when I was little, and looking forward, hopefully to more of those when I am able to retire.

    Blessings and warm hugs to you and yours,

    Bonnie

  20. Jo says:

    Sorry to hear about all the situations that you are going through and will be going through. But God will give you peace in the most unexpected ways! In 2006, my beloved dad passed away while I was with him, our son got a divorce from his wife and left behind 5 children, and our daughter and her family, whom we were so close to, moved to another state. This all happened in the span of 1 month and I didn’t think I would make it. But her I am, 4 years later, and I have learned a lot through all this pain, and so will you. Thank you for sharing your life with us and causing us all to meditate on events in our life that caused us to grow and change.

  21. Jo says:

    Oh Paula, I forgot to tell you in my earlier email that I have a "lady teapot" too! I inherited it from my mother in law after she passed away. We had a very difficult relationship, but when I see this pot I try to remember the good things about her. This pot is pretty expensive in the antique store, which makes it all the more precious to me. I haven’t used her for tea yet, she just adorns my cottage home, but she reminds me that life is not always a bed of roses, it has many thorns too, but what a beautiful fragrance we receive when we take time to smell those beautiful petals!

  22. Denise says:

    Wow Paula what a year. I bet you glad to see the end of 2009. I’m so sorry about your separation. I’m excited for your son and the opportunities that will come his way. I take my hat off to you for having the guts to let him follow his dream even when you were living in a bad one. Remember to hold onto your faith and the love that you can give to others and yourself. Jesus is right beside you through this time and will give you strength to carry on. Your faith will grow through these tough times, sometimes this is the only way for it to grow – – when all we hold dear is taken from us and we are left floundering. All the previous loving and supportive comments ring true from my heart to yours and I thank you dearly for being true to yourself and being real for us. Nothing in life is guaranteed. But having our faith our family and friends to love and support us through these difficult times keeps us going. I know that I’ve had the rug pulled from beneath my feet and I ended up with depression. But the upside of it is that 1. I came to know who I could really count on; 2. my faith greatly increased. and I became a stronger person, not worrying so much on what others thought of my since I’m not put on this earth to meet everyone elses expectation. I also have a building confidence to do what I’ve dreamt of doing in my own time. I love to cook and bake and this is what I do when I need comfort.
    Your slate is clean, remember that we all support you in whatever window you jump through and God will give you strength to do anything, just like the Bible says.
    Your writing is a gift to all of us who are priviliged to read your columns and books. Keep up your wonderful work and I too will pray for you Love Denise

  23. carol branum says:

    Hi paula,thinking of you today also,Monday,Jan.18,2010,Remember the words to the song…rain drops on roses,and snow covered kisses,snowflakes that fall on my nose and eyelashes,silver white winters that turn into spring,these are a few of my favorite things,when the bow breaks,when the birds sing,when I am feeling low,I simply remember my favorite things,and then I don,t feel so sad….In 1965 my great aunt Florance thought we were too country and took me to to Springfield mo.in her bright yellow caddy, to stay with her in her victorian mansion,she was very ritch,I felt just like "Pollyanna’ in the movie by "Walt Disney",all of the crystal prizims in her home,She took me to a fancy store in Springfield named "Herrs" and purchased me all new clothes,I remember beiing thrilled at "storebought" clothing,Aunt was determined to teach me manners and culture,and I helped her polish her real,not plated silverware,I was totally fasinated,We went to see the movie "The Sound of Music"with Julie Andrews.It was so neat to see at the movie theater,because the mountians were as large as life.We sat in the balcony of the large antique theater located in old down town Springfield, and it felt just like I was actually on top of the mountian….When I returned home,our farm is on a hill,so I spent many hours rideing my bike down the gravel road and down the big hill,singing songs from the "Sound of Music"…She is confident…ect.He is 16 going on 17 ect…Rent the movie today,even if you have seen it a hundred times before,it is always refreshing…blessed be,Carol branum,lamar Mo.themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com

  24. Brenda says:

    Oh Paula you have had quit a year. I’m so sad that you had to go through all of it. But time does help. Fifteen years ago I got a divorce after 25 years of marrage to my childrens father. Always believing that we would live to see old age together. But it just so happens that one of my good friends and my husband thought it would be great if they were a couple. Long story short, I was miserable and I felt that life had just stopped. Very angry and couldn’t get my mind focused on anything else. Until one day while visiting with a couple of my special girlfriends, it hit me that I need to forgive them or I would never find happiness again. So the good Lord helped me through that journey and my heart is at peace. Since then, I have remarried to a wonderful man! He loves, accepts me as I am and we can always come up with something to laugh at together. So today I start out every morning grateful for all I’ve been blessed with. We have 5 beautiful grandchildren from the ages of 20 to 10. And they are such a joy! And I agree with all you girls, a nice cup of tea can help with just about anything. And to have it in a pretty china cup makes it more rewarding. Let’s all try to remember that if you Believe in yourself today, Tomorrow will bring happiness! Blessing, Brenda

    Brenda

  25. "The wildflowers bloom in the valleys," was a comfort to me several years ago when I was experiencing a "year". Well, here I am at AARP-age 66, having another year, except that with age comes the joy of recognizing angels among us. Friends deliver homemade soup, call to see if I am still kicking, make and have blessed a prayer shawl, gift me with a pretty box for my new little nest, after "himself" had divorce papers served the day before our anniversary. (My sister thinks it’s the best gift I’ve ever received!) No more tip-toeing around in the dark so that "himself" won’t be disturbed as I dress to go out to work while he sleeps in the crack of …Yes, I’m still a little mad, but soon get glad as I turn my new little nest into a feminine girly place all my own. Thanks for letting me share, and blessings to you. Judith

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It's a Heart-in-Hand Christmas

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
Have you ever seen the motif of a heart nestled inside the palm of a hand? I love this little image because it captures my heritage so well: I come from a line of women whose hearts lived in their hands. At Christmas, especially, their handiwork fills my house.
A couple of posts ago I wrote about Christmas decorations. Last night we trimmed the tree! Almost every ornament is handmade by 1) These amazing women in my family, 2) My kids (I once wrote a column in praise of clever teachers, Brownie leaders, and Sunday school teachers and the wonderful ornament crafts they think up!) or 3) Other craftspeople (whose ornaments I’ve bought as souvenirs or received as gifts).
Uh, notice my own name is absent from that list?! I can’t make anything! How is it that some people just miss out on the crafty gene?

Continue reading

  1. TJ Kear says:

    Can you use spray glue. Pinecones and other outdoor finds sprayed with glue and sprinkled with glitter and a pretty ribbon. You can make anything you want even if you aren’t crafty. There are recipes for cookie ornaments also. You can do it!

  2. Jennifer says:

    I love your ornaments. Thanks for letting us have a peek!!

  3. michele says:

    I love that you admitted to not being crafty! I love all the Farmgirl stuff, but I am not wildly talented at making things. Nevertheless I do knit scarves for everyone I know (I only know 2 stitches and they look like a 5 year old made them)- I am also VERY good at printer paper snowflakes and I can glue buttons on anything! I can also roll beeswax into candles, and do a variety of crafts that any 3 or 4 year old can master (having been a Montessori teacher for a long time!). Oddly enough I have a reputation as being the person who makes things! Faking it works too I guess!

  4. Vicki says:

    I love your tree and the way it is decorated. I have a box full of homemade or school made ornaments from my kids. I treasure every single one. Every time I put one of them on my tree they bring back wonderful memories.

  5. joanie rutherford says:

    Thankyou for sharing your tree decos. with all of us. I love to craft and have done it for many years. I enjoy seeking out unique and easy crafts to make as gifts for the people I love my family and friends. Merry christmas

  6. carol branum says:

    hi,very cute,Have you ever seen faries made out of orkra,or other items made out of orkra or orkeee as we call it here in missouri.Have a great Christmas,blessed be,carol branum,lamar mo.themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com

  7. Paula Spencer says:

    No I’ve never seen okra fairies but I love how different regions make their native favorites into ornaments…I have an angel painted on a nut, a starfish Santa, cornhusk dolls, and lots of wood carvings…really reminds you of the place you found it! Happy Christmas to all….

  8. mssusana says:

    Your tree is fabulous, and resembles my own, with lots of hand made "kid projects" especially. The toilet paper Kings make me giggle…..I have seen so many projects made of these seemingly useful cast offs, but yours is one of the funniest.

    I have also always loved the "heart in hand" image……..I primarily associate it with Mexican culture…..or maybe I am thinking of my MOST favorite heart which is the flaming heart!

    Though I don’t currently have one listed, I have often made a "Heart In Hand" Floradora Charm Bracelet. This piece features all the Heart cliches and is really fun ~ "bird in the hand", "Lending a Hand", "Hat in Hand", "Hand That Rocks the Cradle", etc.

    If you will send me your address, I would like to send you a favorite Heart in Hand charm!

    Saludos, Susana

  9. LT Arnold says:

    Hey, I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say GREAT blog!…..I"ll be checking in on a regularly now….Keep up the good work! 🙂

    surface encounters macomb mi

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A Doll's Christmas

[Previous Suburban Farmgirl, October 2009 – October 2010]
So I have to ask: Are there any dolls on your Christmas-buying or -making list this year? I’m wondering because — as I troll websites and ogle, as I do every year, things I might have wish-listed as a girl – I’ve realized that my very favorite present to give this time of year is… a doll.
Yep, dolls!
Admittedly it’s not the kind of gift you can give everybody (or most anybody!) on your list. And — big sigh — my three girls are outgrowing their doll years. But when you have the right recipient, and (this is key) you’re a “doll girl” yourself, like me – why there’s nothing more fun to give.
Dolls can be so much to a girl: Confidant, role model, co-conspirator, pal, loved one to nurture, loved one to nurture you. It’s a real shame kids think they want to abandon them earlier and earlier.


Continue reading

  1. Dear Paula, Your daughter is a total doll!! What a beauty.

    I was torn between being a die-hard outdoorsy tomboy and a sometimes dollgirl. My favorite doll was my Thumbelina who looked very real and she moved.

    Very odd that later in life I became a professional dollmaker and pattern designer. One of my historic dolls made her way to Rockefeller Center at Christmastime.

    I too love anything Tasha Tudor…I noticed your book.

    I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas. Happy Holidays from Wyoming!
    Shery Jespersen

  2. Forrest says:

    I think ine if the thigs that grabbed my attention was the Tasha Tudor book. I love her dearly and I love dolls. I made both my children dolls and I have made doll clothes for them. Much joy comes from this for me and them. I find my children have an extended identity with a doll. This year for christmas, Alex’s doll Sam is getting new pants, top and a vest. While Trinitys doll is getting a new dress and Pants. I knitted both of these out of wool and trimmed them in silk ribbons.

  3. carol branum says:

    hi,love your blog,your daughter is cute also.I also love dolls.I have a Poor Pittiful Pearl,1960,Originally she had a bar or Ivory soap in her apron,a scrub brush and a small bottle of Ivory dish Liquid.Time has not been good to her,and she is damaged,but I still love her the most.I will post a picture of her today on my blog…themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com….merry christmas,carol branum,lamar mo.

  4. Nancy J Jones says:

    Hello & Merry Christmas,

    I am a doll-girl and have been as long as I can remember. It doesn’t have to be any special doll, just one that for some reason touches my heart. Out of my five children, only one is a girl. And every Chritmas, since her first, Kate has gotten a doll. This year, her 28th Christmas, I hope to get her a really special doll since she is getting married next November. A few years ago I became a "Nana" and I have continued to give my three precious grand-daughters a doll every year, too…Hopefully, they will grow to become doll-girls also…thank you for sharing your story..

  5. Marilyn Collins says:

    My twin sister and I are doll lovers and collectors. We received a Ginny doll with all the accessories one christmas. We played with them for endless hours with our two best friends until they moved away. We still collect dolls. We usully give them as gifts to each other for Christmas and our birthday. Hope you receive a doll for Christmas from Santa Claus!
    Wishing yuo and yours a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
    Marilyn

  6. I sadly watched my 13 year old daughter pack away her dolls today. She has decided she wants to redecorate her room to suit her age and dolls just don’t fit into her picture of what a teen’s room is suppose to look like. My younger sister and I spent hours playing "Mom" to Christine Jones, Ruth and Deluth (twins), Patty and our one boy doll, William. (I’m not sure how we came up with these names!) I wish I would have had the foresight to keep my old dolls. I will be sure to keep my daughters so that when she is my age she can remember the fun she had with them when she was young!

  7. Hilda Collins says:

    I love your blog!!
    I really enjoy the Tasha Tudor books. I received my
    first very own this past Christmas.

    Your daughter is quite lovely and is lucky to have
    a Mom that enjoys dolls.

  8. april says:

    i am a mom of three daughters and we are overrun with dolls–because,as my husband says,they like them because i do. we have certainly got a "doll" issue around here! i enjoyed your post immensely. will have to find that tasha tudor book to enjoy. glad i found you!

  9. Gourmet Blogger says:

    Terrific forum. I hadn’t noticed sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org before in my searches. Wonderful work!
    I am a noobie here and I’m sorry if this is not the right place for this post.
    You rock! gourmet food

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