I have a very "steampunk" older son that would "ah-ha!" at your article. He collects onion paper and the like, has wax and stamp, special pens and ink. Then, if you are one of the lucky few, he will write you a letter, sending it snail-mail, usually writing it by flickering lamp light, taking great pains to say exactly what he means and pondering just what kind of salutation he wants to give you. He is going off to school next week. I hope this means we will be starting a new coorespondence with each other. Still, its nice to know texting is there, if the apron string snaps back and hits me too hard. Thanks for your article!

I am the one who preserves the family treasures and traditions. . . so letter writing is one of the important traditions I keep going. There is something to be said about the magic of sitting at my antique roll top desk, carefully choose my stationary, decide on which pen and ink I will use then sit and quietly write my letter. It is a magical moment that is now captured on paper in my own hand writing. . . it will be stamped and then hand delivered to the addressee…who will do exactly as you have, savor every moment,carefully read and re-read each line, then save the letter for years to come and reflect on it later in life. It is only half of the moment though. . the other half is when they too sit down and write a letter back . . . then and only then, is the circle complete and yet, ready to begin again. . . another letter to continue the tradition and create yet another family treasure!

I too had a son in the military who wrote long letters about what he was doing but most of all what he was thinking. I have each and every one of them in a cherished box. After four years in the navy he went back to college and then enlisted in the army as an officer. He now flies chinook helicopters in Iraq. Now I get e-mails and phone calls but nothing will ever replace the heartfelt letters, in his own penmanship (and spelling) that were full of news and love for God, Country and Family. None of which can be fully expressed in an e-mail. I miss those letters.

My daughter-in-law’s grandmother and I have written letters to each other for the last 10 years. She died last month and I miss her most when the mailman comes without her funny and wonderful long letters. No one in my life has the time to write more than a line or two. Maybe I just need to find a pen pal.

Hi Paula,
You are so right concerning letter writing and keeping in touch. My sisters and I send letters and cards for special occasions and various holidays. Some do keep in touch. It can be frustrating when you do not get a response. We will continue to write,who knows we may even get a response or two!
Marilyn

I like to write letters however have found lately I do that less and less. This is mostly due to my long 10-12 work days, or not that much news to tell and also that I don’t seem to get responses that much as well. Although I do like knowing that my grandmothers etc will receive a letter (neither of them have a computer or have even sent a email before, they are in their 70’s and 80’s)which helps make their day. My one Grandfather is not much for letters. My one grandmother lives in a apartment community for the elderly and it is the talk of the whole community if she gets anything in the mail besides junk/bills. I have been thinking though lately of just getting in the habit of sending a letter or a card at least once a week or every other week. Especially during the winter as due to the Midwest winter (I live out of the Midwest area and am in Virginia) they are not always able to get out and about.

Valerie

I love writing letters. And of course, getting them. Going to the mailbox is fun if there might be letters instead of junk mail or bills. I have a few pen friends who I write to on a regular basis. We know quite a lot about each other and share whtever is going on in our lives. I prefer the snail mail method to email. Although I do both. Snail mail is so personal. It takes time to sit down and write a letter. Makes it more personal and caring. I’m doing my own stationary on the computer now. Can’t really find much nice stuff.

Well, the good news is that the post is still revered here in England…speak to someone on the phone and this must be follow up by something through the post…letters in the post are still appreciated and, unbelievably, part of the business landscape still!

I did love writing letters (and receiving them) when I was younger…especially to you, Paula! Remember the sealing wax phase, when we collected stamps and different coloured was to seal our letters? I have no idea where my ‘J’ and my Leo lion ended up but what satisfaction after creating a written masterpiece to put it in an envelope and seal it so substantively with a personal expression!

Hi Paula
Thanks so much for the inspiration to begin letter writing again. I used to write regularly with my sister especially and think about writing others as well, but it has all fallen by the wayside. I do like the fact that I can think about what I want to say as I write it and and yes do miss getting a personal hand written note in the mail box – emails don’t equate to this, although I do love the speed we have with our digital age.
I am definitely going to buy some lovely stationary to write to my grandmother in law, since I don’t always feel up for a telephone conversation.
Thanks for the inspiration and your wonderful blog.
Enjoy every one of your posts
Thanks a million xx

I wrote a letter to my son when he told me he’d decided to become a policeman. I cautioned him to never forget that to be an officer of the law is to serve the public, and to maintain his compassion, honesty and integrity despite the challenges that he was sure to face. He never acknowledged the letter in any way. Until the day that as class valedictorian he stood in front of his fellow cadets and read a portion of my letter. He also said that he had reread my letter several times. I’m not ashamed to say that hearing him say that made me cry. As a mother, you never know if your kids are hearing you. Well this was one time I knew he’d listened. And I know it was because I put my feelings into that letter.

These comments are better than the post itself! I love all your stories about letter writing and its value!!

I am so sorry this happened to you.

It is extremely hurtful when the attitude behind the information passing/gossip is intended to hurt , defame or slander someone below the belt.

That isn’t curiosity or information sharing but, a shark attack. Most people can tell the diffence when conversation like that happens.

Saying something good about the person and trying to refocus the conversation by asking a question on an other topic not person can help. But, if they persist I’ll say , "hey, we all have bad days and we don’t know all the details; so lets believe the best."

When I’m tempted to gossip, I sometimes refrain if I know I would go towards the "hurt the person" mode.

I try to keep it informationally versus personal. I don’t always succeed.;(.

Enjoyed your article on gossip. A friend shared a "THINK" acrostic with me that I try to run through before I "share" (work in progress!)-
Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring? (encouraging, uplifting)
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?
If I still have the urge to share I ask myself "What is my motivation for repeating this?" and finally,
repeat Ephesians 4:29….
Thank you so much for your insightful article.
Blessings,
Penny

I live in a tiny town where gossip runs rampant. I’ve taught my neighbors that I will listen to their stories, but if something is said that is harmful,or mean spirited, I will speak up and let folks know that unless the person is there to defend themselves, I cannot continue the conversation. I have developed the reputation of not being a gossiper.
Having been on the other end of the gossip, as will happen in a small town, I have always met it head on. If someone is saying something bad about me, I will approach that person with an open heart and ask them to tell me what they are saying or where it originated. I will speak up for myself in that situation. What I have found is that by taking this action, it opens up a discussion so that whatever is truly the issue can be raised, opened and cleared up. It also trains folks to come directly to me with issues, so things don’t become hurtful.

Community is way to important to have it torn down by gossip. Only by moving into the conflict in a clear, heart felt way, can things be resolved, emotions expressed, and healing begins for all.

"If they are talking behind your back, they are in the right position to kiss your a**!"
Sorry if that offends but really, don’t let the nasty tales of one busy body colour all the other woman who share news, good or sad, about friends and family. We need to know what is going on around us but that doesn’t mean we need or should spread lies. Check for facts before repeating!
And what a good neighour you have to let you know what was going on and to stand up for you when she heard it. I’m thinking she may well deserve a step up in title to ‘Friend’!
Oh and btw, I really like Penny’s rules! Thanks for sharing! :o)

Ya know….this kind of thing is always going to happen….Take everything with a grain of salt and let it go.

Crumby! When I went through a divorce, the same type of thing happened. People just can’t get enough gossip. I think people gossip out of fear that it could be them. It’s a way to affirm that they are just fine while so-and-so is the one falling apart.

As far as if it’s sometimes okay, my knee-jerk reaction is to say NO! Never. It hurts. But, when I really stop to think about it, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it IS okay to tell a friend that I heard so-and-so might need some encouragment about such-and-such, but only if I know it’s 1) true and 2) okay with the person I’m mentioning it about it. Usually I don’t know both at once, so… I try not to gossip.

Paula,
You’ve heard the saying "life is too short to sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff"? Anyone that actually knows you will know whether or not to believe what is said. The thing about hurtful and malicious comments that are made is that they make the person telling them look bad, not the person being talked about. We all tend to fight for the victim right?
I have a sister in law whom I love to talk to. We can talk for hours on the phone and none of it is gossip. (really!) That’s why I love talking to her. We share an interest in our geneology, we both have grandkids that we adore and keep us in stitches. We share recipes and what’s going on in our life… and we share our faith. Every time I talk to her I feel good about life. I feel the same way when I read the farmgirl blogs. They are so inspiring that I look forward to them, all of them.
The way your neighbor responded is more than likely the way most people will respond when this person shares their views of your life so don’t let it get to you.
Besides, the people that matter the most know the truth right? (I’m talking about your kids.)
I heard the saying when I was a teenager that when a person points their finger at someone else, they have three fingers pointing back at themself. Just a thought. 🙂

Hi,I figure thats what Spirit made Bueaty shops for,read about my salon "Razzmatazz"in a small farm town,have a great day,I am going to the Lamar Free Fair tonight,so I am working on my hair today sometime if I get a chance,I am really booked today getting all these ole gals ready for the fair,I need a small tape recorder bad,like real bad,and I swear next pay day,I am driveing to Joplin to go purchase myself one,you ought to hear this stuff,it is fantastic!love ya carol Branum Lamar Mo.Hey its a dot,not and @,I,ve been writeing @,and its a dot,themofarmersdaughter.blogspot.com

I grew up a free spirit in a small town, and I know first-hand how gossip can fly without the smallest basis in fact. I still express my opinions of others to a few trusted confidantes, but never if it would hurt an innocent bystander, and not until I’ve said it to their faces first. I just don’t like peeps who dish it up indiscriminately to all & sundry, and if an acquaintance is inclined to scurrilous hurtful gossip, she NEVER will become a friend.

I’ve found a great way to put a stop to vicious gossip. I ask the person who’s spreading the gossip to pray with me for the person she’s gossiping about. It abruptly shows them how mean it is to gossip, & how un-God-like it is

wow, thanks. My favorite advice of late came from my pastor (not about this subject but it applies well): The truth will out.

Oh sounds soo yummy! I’ll book my place at your table permantly I think!
Good to hear you are enjoying the whole process of a fine meal – real food style!
Love the pics too.
Home made always tastes the best and if you can buy the freshest ingreadients and locally produced to boot, then they’re always the best tasting meals by far.
I had roasted baby carrots with our dinner tonight fresh from a workmates garden. Sliced with drizzled honey and wrapped in foil – Wow! very nice indeed!
I would have to say that the kitchen is one of my most enjoyable places to be, anticipating the pleasure one of my creations with not only bring to my family and friends but myself as well; call me old fashioned but I love it all.
Enjoy and God Bless.

we must be twins seperated at birth! i live for food (oh, and the hubby and kids, you know.) i love to be able to relish a great meal; even a tasty snack. food is comfort; nourishment for the mind, body, and soul.

I’m hungry!!! But I have to tell you, Paula, that this recipe is identical to one passed down to me from a beloved aunt (a definite Southerner.) Actually, hers doubles the amounts of everything, but it’s exactly the same. And guess what? She made it with peaches! In fact, I never really thought of making it any other way until now. The difference was that she would use canned peaches rather than fresh – maybe that changed the consistency enough to eliminate the doughy parts? No idea. She liked to put it in the oven when she served dinner, and it would be ready with no fuss for dessert in half an hour or so – WITH ice cream on top, of course. Thanks for the lovely reminder of her – she passed away just a couple of months ago. My mom (her sister) makes this frequently for potlucks and such – always a hit.

This is a great story of perseverance. You had a plan B and it was not needed. You are truly a farm girl. Good job

I make the same cobbler. : ) And have for years. But I double the ingredients for a 9 x 13 pan. Spray pan with baking spray so edges don’t stick. I use canned sliced peaches when fresh are not in season. My cobbler isn’t doughy, but has a little white showing. : ) It is the charm of the cobbler. It is sooo good hot with or without ice cream!!! Good job!!!

Sounds SUPER summery and yummy! Thanks for sharing!

these theories and tips are fascinating, thx!

Being a baker….and making lots of cobblers….I would say just make sure your ingredients are set out before baking, not quite room temp but not right out of the fridge, especially when you are melting butter and then putting "cold" milk on top it may seize the butter and give you "clumps" of dough….consisting of butter , flour, milk etc… anyway, most cobblers will have whitish spots, but not doughy spots…. don’t over bake either. it will make it dry.
remember baking is a science always follow the recipe, cooking is the art….:) have fun with it!

LOL, I once through away a pumpkin cake for it didn’t look like the one in the picture of a magazine I took it from! My mom was upset I tossed it…LOL! I was young, wouldn’t do that now! This Michigander would call what you said was apple cobbler I would call it apple crisp, or blue berry or peach crisp what ever fruit I have on hand. Funny how we give almost the same thing different names. But your peach cobbler looks yummy.

Love your cobbler, looks tasty. But what really caught my eye was your beautiful baking dish. I only have ugly Corning Ware.

I know I am alittle behind…..but someone just gave my fresh jersey peaches…and this was my first thought.."now I can make that southern fruit cobbler"..so i will let you know how it turns out..thanks Paula for sharing this receipe

Hi,
Enjoyed your story. I just wanted you to know that I am a South Carolina girl and my grandmother, mother and me have all made cobbler similar to yours. We double your recipe and use self rising flour with no baking powder. It is a tradition in our family with any fruit. You are a wonderful writer…Dolly

"My problem is that I am a slipshod follower of recipes and a hopeless improviser"
Oh my goodness, when I read that it was like I had found someone who understood my dirty little secret. You just put it into words for all of us like you. I just cant leave a recipe alone. Especially once I have made it right. I feel like I’ve "been-there-done-that" and it gives me license to mess with it. This is not always a good thing. God bless my patient family who will eat it anyway. Thank you for your honest article!

You said you doubled the recipe for the size you were making instead of the 8×8 the recipe called for. Please tell me if the measurements given 1/4 c butter, 1/2 cup flour, 1/2 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder and 1/2 c milk are the amounts for the regular 8×8 size or the doubled size ? ? ? ?
I can’t wait to make !

michael casino free customized bingo cards holdem percentage poker texas download online casino slot ported athlon slot a governor of poker serial nba sports gambling game street fighter blood money pas2 cheats download lotto software poker gratis jugar poker pros harrahs hotel casino laughlin little green men slot machine free play card casino downloadable scratch poker cheats ps2 shock wave game zynga scramble game cheats boom casino lawsuit town poker online training tunica casinos mississippi mega lotto philippines seaside artifice poker tables pirates the caribbean 2003 game rapidshare underage online gambling online casino slot machine canada best book poker paragon casino marksville la printable blank bingo card ceramic chip poker king salomon casino cheat poker ps2 tour world casino line roulette download mugen games p square game over album chicago gaming servers 1.49 slot condition ioc games weter in las vegas how to make sprites move flash game free online building city games in n.h poker tournament house interior and exterior free online game trucchi psp grand theft auto liberty city stories casino slot dice plot boris and basic blackjack strategy reviews and opinions n games accepting casino echecks flash instant online most often texas lotto numbers 11.5 500 chip clay poker dakota sioux casino lotto turf shoes legal gambling in the united states wisconsin texas holdem tournaments top poker online sites building houses games online free java games k500 moulin rouge casino royal garden hotel hong casino ok thackerville winstar microgaming flash casino problems using myscene dress up games crystal poker chips mandalay bay hotel casino monte argentario play survive poker casino mesquite nevada oasis resort reno hotel and casino quondam mi lottery winners hitman blood money dl free fr poker poker poker strategy strategy texasholdempoker.info casino lasvegascasinomania.com online roulette cash cab questions game show pda expansion slot cell phone prevatr spise games highest bonus casino online best vegas casino casino casino casino free game line play yourbestonlinecasino.com pornstrip poker vidos every guaranteed lotto time win texas holdem poker online encounter partypoker downloads poker ebook petit manoir du casino how first prize playing online poker car modifing games vegas place machines support yard sale clabes de grand theft auto hellmuth high stakes poker hampton casino stud poker how to play venice night casino pokergamesonline file_links[D:POST_BAZEFULL_CASINO_KEY.txt,2,S – about sports gambling gold spike casino vegas card casino poker carp fishing game ny lotto home page casino ezgamblingebooks.com gambling lotto system morongo indian casino cabazon ca ach casino online blackjack presumption calculator download autonomous mega millions pool mi gov casino las review vegas radisson resort and casino sc informative raffle cheryl olson phone number in grand ledge michigan i spy games free online scholastic casino barriere lotto.ie boom casino town bc sweepstake numbers copte game 2005 california lotto number super winning camel casino chip code ameristar casino colorado motor city casino buffet online casino black jack

I moved from Indiana to Michigan when I was married shortly after graduating from high school. Left all my family behind including the cousins. It is a six hour drive one way to the area I was raised and it is a chore to visit siblings and parents in the couple of trips I take each year. Sometimes only one. So when I got to go to a ladies only yearly family reunion a couple of years ago it was a blessing. Most of the cousins I had not seen for close to 30 years and I had to get re-acquainted with all of them. It was great!

Hi Paula,
Enjoyed your reminiscing about your cousins. My sisters and I try to keep in touch with our cousins.It is not easy,since they are all scattered across the country.
Thanks for the great feature, I look forward to your next one.
Marilyn

Hi again, Paula,

My husband and I just returned home after driving over 800 miles, 2 days one direction, to attend a family reunion in Missoula, Mt. Nearly all surviving cousins made it, even though we are scattered in California, Idaho, New Mexico, Nevada, N. Dakoda, Arizona and Montana. What a joy to connect to some I had not seen for nearly 50 years. As we are aging ourselves, we are well aware of fleeting time and grabbing an opportunity to connect and gather while we have the health to do so. How were we to know that 3 of us would be taken early, one only a year ago? Through laughter and tears, we poured over photos, re-lived memories and made new ones. It’s so worth the effort!

"It’s kind of fun to do the impossible." –Walt Disney

Bonnie

How ironic that you wrote about cousins today, this upcoming weekend is our annual cousins weekend.
There are 5 of us girls, stair stepped in age, that have made it a point to get together the 3rd weekend in July. Just us, no kids or spouses. We choose a different location every year. sometimes, shopping in the city, sometimes a resort town along the shores of Lake Michigan.
we grew up within a mile of each other, attended the same schools, spent every holiday together, camping trips, and our birthdays were always celebrated with them unitl we started to drive and get part-time jobs.
We have only been doing this for the last 4 years,and also get together other times of the year, even without the family weddings and funerals. We realize we share so much of our lives together and those moments make us who we are today.

Hi Paula!
What a cute post…You have a memory like a steel trap! One filled with such special memories… I think there is an ART to that! You’ve jogged mine back to special holidays spent with my cousins too! I had plenty on both sides of my family and when I think back on the times we spent together as kids, my ears ring with laughter! As an adult, I was able to keep up with some of my cousins that stayed local because I was also their hairdresser!
Now we are " faraways " too, but I have wonderful memories of times with them as a youngter and as " grownups"…Like you and so many people we stay connected with email and the occasional phone call in between a visit in person!

Thanks for reminding me of those happy times….

Now, here’s an addendum to your last post titled SCREEN QUEEN! We did it! In true farmgirl make-do fashion we set up our new SCREENED Garden Gazebo on our west facing deck last week to beat this Hot and Humid New England heat! We’ve been ejoying it so so so much! Morning coffee and breakfast,cool late evening family candle lit dinner’s and even a late night game of cards by the light of a karosene lantern…We decided to just use what we had, our orignal round table and chairs, complete with a colorful table cloth made for indoor/outdoor use. We gathered lanterns from other rooms inside and now we’re on the lookout for an outdoor chandelier to hang from the center post. I’m inspired by the one in Mary Janes Farm made from a thrify old lamp shade frame… We’ll see? This farmgirl isn’t all that patient sometimes, and it’s high summer… I may just purchase one and enjoy a little instant gratification with some candle light to boot!

Happy Summer and thanks for the memories and inspirations too!

Deb~

Wow! Love the porch, would suit me well, since the mozzies seem to find me too.
Wouldn’t worry about the rug unless the kids like to sit on the floor, or maybe add it when the weather begins to cool a little.
Maybe a pot plant or two in the corners, but wouldn’t add to much, having it very casual is the major appeal here and certainly usuage.
Love all the pics, it is nice to have a snap shot into your life. Makes me feel very much a part of it.
I’m glad you’re settling in so well.
Congratulations on making this gem a wonderful home for yourself and your family.
Would love to have something similiar for myself, but will have to stay where I am for a while yet.
Have a wonderful week.
Obviously the weather is warm for you, it’s freezing here – not snow weather for us, but then again its not supposed to snow where I am
Cheers x

Paula: What a fantastic porch! That was one of the first things on our list of what we wanted for our house. I grew up with porches; one in the east side of the house and one on the west side. So we could go to either whenever the sun got too hot. We had antique wicker furniture. Now my porch on the north side doubles as a bonsai holding area in the winter and when the trees are moved outside it becomes a screened in summer porch. I also had a porch swing like we had on the farm. Enjoy! Bonnie

Oh my word!!! What an AWESOME back porch! We are in the planning stages of our next phase of simple living life in Northeast Texas and a screened porch is HIGH on the list of wants!

I love the pics – thanks for sharing!I look forward to seeing more!

You’ve triggered some great memories! As a kid growing up in the midwest, I was jealous of my aunt’s house because it had a SCREEN PORCH. All the cousins would sleep out there on summer nights and it didn’t matter how sandy we were from swimming in the lake. Normal rules of hygiene and bedtimes didn’t apply on the screen porch. Lucky you!

Hi everyone,

This was a great blog..brought back some great memories. I have been blessed in my life to have lived in homes with either a front porch, back deck or both. Right now, I have both but neither is screened. My son gave me a screened gazebo which its right off the back(unfinished)deck. Even when its hot outside, I try to sit in there as much as possible. Reading, cup or glass of tea on the table, texting, paying DS…I will be moving the gazebo up onto the deck, hopefully soon. But I truely love it, anytime of the day, any day of the week…If I am not in the house, you can find me outside…Thanks again for sharing and I am really happy things are working out so well for you & your girls…New Farmgirl Member #1754 :->

I love my screen back porch. Right now it’s raining and it has a metal roof, the sound makes me want to fall asleep. But it faces west and in Florida, that makes for a very hot afternoon, but the mornings are divine. I have a porch swing, table & chairs and hutch. No better place for breakfast and coffee! I am so glad you and your family are enjoying your porch, it is an iconic reminder of summer and fanily time.

Ok, that’s it. You sealed the plans for my own porch. I was undecided about screen. We’re just now making headway on the mudroom…and the porch will follow. Screen…the new Must Have. Thanks for the perfect post for what we’re doing right now. Your porch is divine. I can see why so many hours will be spent there.

Its great to see your new life forming up so nicely. What a godsend that you found such a nice house in the location you wanted. Good For You.
Shery J

How wonderful for you. We had a sun porch at our previous home. There was a couple of windows with screens that let in a nice breeze when we sat on it. We had a small table and chairs but it was not large enough for the nice couch you have on yours. It looks like you have everything already to make you comfortable. Maybe a radio/CD player to listen to your favs or a nice book on CD. Very nice. Here in Michigan it is suppose to be 90 tomorrow on the 4th. We may just melt…Have a wonderful holiday!

So happy you love your screened in porch…you know we grew up with one and then had one at our house which I always loved! One suggestion I would make is a water feature – either outside or inside…I always found the sound of running water very soothing when sitting there protected from the mossies, wasps, moths, etc but loving the breeze and trees (reminds me to suggest a few wind chimes as well).

Glad you love your new house! It’s been hot here in England as well (but not quite as hot as there) and I have missed having some outdoor haven like a screened porch – our tiny balcony doesn’t quite do it!

Paula, my son and daughter in law live in North Carolina too and they also have a screened in porch. When we visit there we love to sit and chat in this room listening to the cicadas sing their goodnight song. I think less is better because friends and family visiting fill the whole area with their laughter and love — that is what you will see and feel when you sit out there — the comfy things are nice and a few are needed — but you will always hear and see the get togethers of times past. Have fun and dream in your new "nest".

Hi,
I’m a new Mary Jane Farmgirl member, who is looking to move to North Carolina. Hope I get lucky enough to get a porch, if not already screened in, then I’ll happily screen it.
The cats would LOVE it.
Your’s is HUGE and wonderful with trees all around. You are lucky indeed.

i am so happy to read your blog this morning. Last year i had my 98 year old house painted and a screened in porch added to the back. It looks just like it is original to the house. I am so happy with it, as are my dachshunds and Sheltie. The one thing that has really helped during the summer in Texas is the ceiling fan! It makes the mornings and nights bearable. The 100 degree plus temps make the days on the porch uninhabitable even with the fan. Enjoy your porch. I love mine.

I think I go through phases of both…if that’s possible. I have times when I go on whirlwind de-cluttering sprees and want to contain everything (I, too, use things for purposes which they were never meant – such as cigar boxes for TV remotes) Then other times, I find calm in the coziness of my treasures – the plates on the wall, the colored glass in my kitchen window sill, my random boxes of crafting debris, the haphazard blankets on the backs of couches. All in all, I would put myself on the fence between both categories of decorating style. My house is not overly "put-together", but it’s home! And the biggest compliments to me are the ones that come from friends when they say they feel "at home" when they come into my house.

I think that I’m a bit of both CC and PE..I like cozy clutter, but there are certain parts of the house where everything has to be in it’s place. I’m still trying to "decorate" my home and I don’t know what my style is…I just know that I like anything Victorian, rusting, country, romantic, vintage etc…and if it fits in one of those categories I’ll add it to my home 🙂 :)I loved your photos and those bargains you found. Those are fantastic!!!!

My little house is a 1930’s fishing camp beside a beautiful river in NH. The house evolved to a year-round home with a deck and a wide river view. There were never enough closets. But time has taken its toll and the living room wing needed a new roof. I am amazed at how much stuff had to be relocated during the reconstruction project.
I’d have to say I’ve gone from Cozy Comfort to Total Chaos. When the roof is done, the carpet pulled up and replaced with bamboo flooring and the dust has settled, I promised myself (at least in the new living room) there will be NO MORE CLUTTER. I will have graduated to PE.

Hi Paula,

I enjoyed your post. It sounds like you are doing quite well!
I recently moved and after being a CC for many years, decluttering was such an emotional journey that I believe it turned me into a PE!!! (Only time will tell though right?)
Your new house looks lovely!
Enjoy the journey.

Tammie

We must all have some of each in us! Parts of me are CC and some PE. Wouldn’t I love to be PE! I am always trying. I used to be PE, but after a year of being sick I seem to have turned into CC, trying to get back to PE now that I am finally well. For some of us, our brains really function better in an organized space.

Ooooh, I love that wicker sofa! Wonderful find.

I am both, my whole house is PE, except my bedroom, it is major CC. Love the wicker sofa, I have always wanted one, but don’t have a porch screened or not. I have to small patio’s which I layed the blocks myself and I use one of those small spools for a table, you know the kind that wire is wrapped around. Also love that little wooden table and chairs in front of the bow window. Enjoy your new place, and finding your own style! I didn’t realize my own style till I had my own place also.

sounds like our consensus is, whether CC or PE, what matters is that it feels homey! (:

Hey Paula
Good to see/hear your move is done. Looks like you’re settling in well.
Love the homey feel your new place gives.
Fantastic find with the wicker lounge – your instinct was right on target.
I was a CC but now am a PE -helps on the sanity front when life is so full on. I am in a real declutter mode at the moment too – not sure why but soul cleansing.
I tend to change accessory colours depending on the time of year too and re use things for things other than their original intended purpose.
Currently I’m into the colour orange, never really went for it before – I know it’s been your favourite colour for forever, but has become mine – maybe since its such a warm colour and winters now here so warm colours make me feel warm and cosy too.
love reading your blog
Thanks

I am definitely a PE girl though this is not always obvious to my partner, Kevin, (who is much more precise)…prowling the house at night to put things back in their places is something that really resonates for me! Right now, I tend to have more general places for everything since my flat is so tiny but, I know that over time (and at K’s urging), everything will find its place and all will be right with the world!

I think I’m a PE with slight leanings to CC. I was looking at a magazine today and thought, "Oh, that room is so pretty." Then I realized that even though the children of the homeowner were pictured eating popsicles in the den, there was not one personal touch to the room. No family photos, no collections of shells or rocks, no books with titles showing. I do believe that some order is essential, and I have a husband that proves that clutter can be orderly, but despite HGTV and shelter magazine photos, a home is made to be lived in and loved in. We need to keep the pictures our children colored on the refrigerator, the worn-out-from-use throw on the back of the couch, and the muddy shoes by the back door or under the coffee table, and we need to be grateful for all the things connected to these "treasures," even the muddy shoes.

Happy new home!

Well this took me back a few years…just a few. My Aunt made me Holly Hobby style dolls that were hung on my walls. and my Mom made a Holly Hobby quilt for my bed. Yes, I am right there with you.

I love Holly Hobbie! I think she may be making a comeback since I saw some really pretty blue HH fabric in a fabric store, just love it! Brought back memories!

I loved Holly Hobby…. I had a purse that had a pocket on the outside and a little Holly doll fit in the pocket. It was that same color blue, with the pretty little flowers. I wish my little girl had toys that were that cute and not the truly ugly dolls and toys she has…. wish Holly would make a comeback!

Paula, How fun! Yeppers, I’m STILL a Hollie Hobbie girl…at age 54. Do you have her ‘life story’ book? It is excellent, it tells of Holly’s life as a young artistic mother trying to make ends meet. Lots of illustrations, naturally. Her later watercolor art is more ‘sophisticated’ and just beautiful. There is also a self portrait in the book. If you don’t have it, treat yourself. I bet you could find it with a little online sluething.

I was in high school listening to John Denver and loving anything Holly Hobbie. I always loved being a nature girl and HH’s artwork spoke to my inner child that never outgrew ‘wonderment’. I made a series of decopage HH images from Hallmark cards for my mother…glued them onto barnwood. She still has them I’m sure. Thank you for the warm memory reminder. P.S. You look great in a bonnet, by the way :o)

Shery J

Oh this just brought back so many memories for me and I still Love HH. I made all manner of things HH for my daughter and my little sister. I found a few things I had put away for my daughter not to long ago and she took them for her daughters room. Think I’m going to go look for all those fun patterns and revive some fun stuff. Thanks for your memories!

Holly Hobbie is so iconic of my childhood as well, my best girlfriend in 1st grade (we are still best friends 30+ years later!) and I both had HH lunchpails..the old metal kind with the raised "impressions". Some years ago I became nostalgic for HH and on ebay I found a dinner bell which to this day remains proudly displayed in my china hutch 🙂

I have a Holly Hobbie rag doll. Do you remember her friend Heather? I have her too. Glad I’m not the only one. I also have all the Little House Books, including the cookbook. My daughters and I made many of their recipes. Now, I’m hoping to do the same with my granddaughter. Love your column!

Wonderful memories. My sister (6 years younger) and I both loved Holly Hobbie. After I was married, my husband found a Holly Hobbie thermos, which I proudly carried to work with me (containing the previous evenings dinner leftovers). I still have it.
Thanks for sharing.
Jo

I just love HH too. I collected plates, eggs (remeber those) and stitchery. I said the first grandchild to be a girl could have them in her room. My Daughter has three boys and no girls. My Son a Daughter. To no avail did they want these in her room. BOO HOO. But I still love HH, she always brings a smile to my face! Lori

I rememer HH. I think my mom loved her more than I did. My mother passed away 8/09 and reading the blog today allows me to enjoy the wonderful memories of my special mom.

I still have all the dolls, HH, Heather, Amy and even Grandma! I also had the old fashioned sewing machine. I also hang a Christmas ornament every year that is HH and it brings back a lot of memories!

It wasn’t until recently that I discovered HH. She came into the picture while I was raising two boys. I grew up in the country and she reminds me of all the good times. I sewed a pinafore in junior high made of eyelet–everyone else was wearing polyester! I’ve started collecting HH-
I have a plate and a candy dish so far.

Isn’t this fun that she resonated with so many of us! Someone asked via whisper comment if I still have patterns — alas, the embroidery designs and the clothes were made by my mom and I never had patterns (not that I could make them like her!) …knowing her she probably just copied the embroidery.

Hi Paula, My twin sister, Marion and I are still big Holly Hobbie fans. We have several of the dolls and other items that were available at the height of Holly’s popularity.
Holly Hobbie is still a winner with us!
Marilyn

What great memories. I still have my Holly Hobbie doll and also my Betsy Clark..remember her? Both of them sat on my bed every morning after it was made.

I’m 37 and I love Holly Hobbie, too. I have that same embroidered HH on your pillow, a pair of them actually, framed from my childhood and hanging on the wall of my guest room. Still love looking at them. It would be fun to have the pattern, I suppose I can find it online. Thanks for sharing! Have the Best Day Ever!

WOW this has certainly brought back all the feelings of childhood, and memories of my mom making me Holly Hobbie embroidered , framed pictures, and the HH lunch box, the old tin ne I had, and the watch I had. I no longer have my mom with me, she passed a couple of years back, but everytime I think of my childhood it is of living in our farmhouse, canning, sewing, and on cold winters nights with no TV in the house, watching or helping my mom "make" special memories for her family….Thanks for sharing your special memories.

I am also in love with this little girl and always have been. I just turned 60 this month and even just yesterday I bought a patchwork scarf with the likes of a Hollie Hobbie theme on it and I shall wear it proudly with everything as it cools off. I can’t wait for fall!

I do also have several Hollie Hobbie plates and the pillowcase you have shown I got at a thrift store. I can’t give them up! She makes me feel good!

Thanks for the reminders!

Smiles, Cyndi

Hi Paula,
Congratulations on your new house. May you have many years of happiness in your new home. Enjoyed your blog on what to pack and keep as oppposed to giving or throwing away. Looking forward to reading about your settling into the colonial.
Sincerely,
Marilyn

Paula- what I forgot to mention is that all my old "stuff"-antique rugs, disco clothes, my daughters’ baby clothes, clocks, etc.etc. have made me happy thru the years when moving or going thru difficult times.Keep many things- pull them out and enjoy- they will make you happy : )

Oh definitely agree on the donate! (Books, clothes, dishes, vintage hatboxes…) Most of the throwaways/recycles are papers, papers, papers. Who knew someone in the digital age could have accumulated so many papers!

I’m definately discovering "less is more" here as I sort 20 years of clutter in order to paint walls and reclaim living space. My husband and I both collect books, which are hard for us to part with, but reality sets in eventually when we realize the overkill and hoarding going on with books already read.

I am donating or selling off all but favorite ones that might be re-read or might fulfill a bit of nostalgia corner. My husband is the big reader, so I’ve placed his Startrek shelf with just a few things like a Startrek ornament, folded emblem T-shirt and emblem ball cap. I placed the books grouped by height and general color scheme to enhance eye appeal. A shelf of a few children’s books are grouped with just a few stuffed animals and a standing bookshelf of cat mystery books is tastefully grouped with a few cat figurines and standing small photographs. A shelf of my angel books is interspersed with just a few angel things. The things I’m keeping are things we love and have somehow defined our interests or just a few keepsakes of our childhoods and special moments. I’m attempting to keep all of this to a minimum to enhance, rather than clutter and detract and help our house feel like a home. There is something comphy and inviting about one stuffed animal amoung the bed pillows and quilted bedspread, even if the kids have left.

Your yellow stuffed monkey will look and feel at home in your yellow house with turquoise shutters.

You’re a whole lot older than you Paula and I still have quilte a few of my childhood things. I treasure them and have them out in my sewing room. I think for me they connect us to pleasant memories. I have weeded through all of my things to reduce the clutter, but I still those connections. We only have two children and now they have their stuff, toys and all. I gave them all to let them choose what they want to keep. But…I have never moved from my house of 46 years. You are facing a reality I haven’t! God bless you in your choices and start fresh in that new home! Hug your kids too.

We moved a quite a few times in our first few years of marriage and then we built our own home…nothing fancy but ours. I decided then and there that I never wanted to move again. Thankfully we have never had to and we have lived here for over 30 years and counting. We have renovated, built on, made memories and added to our extended family and lost others but it’s our base. I wish you many, many years of love and happiness in your new home and may it become a place of wonderful memories for your family and someday maybe even your grandchildren!

I too have my "Miss Beasley" doll, and a doll that I bought in Germany on my first trip out of the USA (at 21 years old, believe it or not). I have been downsizing for a move and donated, yard-saled, gave away to family some things. But I also like to use "old" things to decorate and make things comfortable, so it all fits right in. I like to have things around that remind me of peaceful, pleasant, and playful times. After this one move though, I am finished moving!! So I guess now I have room for more collecting, lol! Hope you and your children enjoy your new home as it is a place for new memories to be made!

I mostly remember Pancho and Thunderbolt, and of course Misty of Chincoteague!

Oh yes, I have some things to go through, but they are my Moms things after she passed away. My Barbies sit quietly on my dresser with the origional hutch, closet and dresser and I make her an outfit here and there to relive memories.

My daughters toys and books are stored safely waiting to be unveiled in thier homes, something I gladly do for them.

Congrats on your new home and special new memories waiting to be made.

Hi Paula,

I was wondering when you would get back to blogging, but figured you must be very busy with "divorce" business. I too, am divorced after 20 years, with 3 children. Let me tell you that since then I was on my own for 4 years, did minimal dating…and for the past 14 years have been with a great guy! There is life after divorce. And a lot of it is good. I have been a grandma (meme’ to the babies) for 5 years now…and that is a huge blessing, too. I am now facing another upheaval,if my research is correct. I have been showing numerous signs of "Parkinson’s disease " the past few months, or more. I am just beginning to see a doctor for this, hope to have testing done this summer. My family is not aware of this yet, and I have been trying to figure out the best way to tell them. I am pondering having a family get together, without babies, to tell them all at once. I think that might be easier on me, and them. That way they can all discuss it with one another (this would be my daughter, sons, son-in-law & daughter in law). I would tell my fiance’ first. I am going to read Michael J Fox’s book, Always Looking UP, as I plan to push myself to do the best I can, with every obstical that gets in my way. I really don’t want my family to treat me any differently, but just to help me out a bit when I need it. I am fortunate in that the internet has been a resource that has shown me that my illness is most likely due to toxic pollutions and not genetic. The genetic form, like Michael has usually hits younger people (he was only 30)unlike myself who is 56, they say that others usually see symptoms after age 55 years. My only fear now, is the later years, and how it will affect my family. But I will push on….and for you I can only wish you good luck with all you are going thru….it does get easier, and the children do adjust after awhile. Life will get better…..all the best….O’Dell

Oh honey, I’ve been there. It is more difficult than people imagine, but you will come out of this a better person in the end.

As far as dividing, just remember it’s only stuff and not worth the energy of fighting over. I let my ex have most of the household possessions just to avoid a fight. It’s 10 years later and I don’t miss any of it. There is no winner in a divorce – not even the person who walks away with the most stuff.

Keep the lawyers out of it as much as possible. Try writing down those favorite items on slips of paper and each of you draws for them. If there is a respected friend or family member that can mediate the drawing that’s even better.

My Dear

I am going through a divorce myself, still in the trauma stages. Just looking ahead at what’s to come is overwhelming . I pray for a good outcome for both of us. This is the one of the worst things I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. Strength to us both, strength to any woman struggling with this issue. Keep the faith!

Hi Paula – I am very sorry to hear about your divorce!

It sounds like you have a pretty clear picture who’s is what for some of your possessions. For the others, why don’t you just have a sale and split half of the funds? Maybe you could use the money to buy something that really indicates a new start, such as new living room furniture?

Best of luck to you, you and your family will be in my prayers. Cindy

Hi, I’ve read the blogs before, but this is the first time I’ve responded. I’ve been divorced for 10 years after 17 years of marriage. I divorced when my daughter(who is mentally and physically disabled) was 15 and my son was 13. My ex and I fortunately stayed friends and he passed away three years ago at 56. So what have I learned? Don’t sweat over "stuff" it can all be replaced. Life is a lot easier without "stuff". What’s the most important thing is that you take care of your mental, physical, and spiritual self because that you cannot replace. If you’re in a good place and happy then your children will be happy. That’s all that really matters. My best regards with your transitioning.

As tough as it is, I would take this opportunity as a chance to redefine what is important to you and your children and what can be purged without pain from your life. Moving is traumatic enough and if the kids see your place as the one with the ‘comforts of our old home’ and his stripped of memories, it’s going to be more difficult for them to adjust and settle in when they are away from you.
Be sure to make both places comfortable for them and then go from there. Remember, that although this is difficult for you two, it was a decision made by the two of you and the kids had no say. Their lives need stability above all.
{Hugs} You can do it! :o)

Paula, I was married for 10+ years, with 3 children, and got divorced almost 4 years ago. HUGS to you. Going through this life-upheaval is so difficult. We didn’t have anything of "worth", so splitting up the belongings was fairly easy; however, my ordeal was figuring out just what "things" were the most important to me. This was a life-altering moment for me, as I realized that the "things" I had lived surrounded by were just that..THINGS. I also had to narrow everything down to the bare essentials..I was renting a minivan, loaded with my mother, myself and my 3 children to basically "escape" my life in Wisconsin to make a fresh start in California. So, what I took with us was what would fit in the van: Family photos, my personal and my grandmothers’ china, my quilts, my computer, a week’s worth of clothes for each of us (plus about 2 pairs of shoes each..not easy for a shoe-queen such as myself!). We took a few of the childrens’ favorite toys and loaded up. Before that, I gave away EVERYTHING ELSE, using Freecycle, and left my ex’s stuff there for him to deal with. Paula, it’s truly amazing what you realize you can live without, once you put the value on the people in your life instead of the "stuff". Good luck to you, dear heart.

My prayers for you and the children (and for your ex) as you go through this uneasy period. I lost "almost everything" when I divorced. I was unlucky in that "himself" burned my diaries and my photos and broke my vinyl records and took the jewelry, china and silver to the hockshop and then destroyed some quilted, croched, art pieces. However, my son and I got through it safely and I know now how STRONG it made me. Don’t sweat the small stuff! You will be fine in a little while. As pretty and sweet and kind as you seem to be, your next big problem will probably be chasing away guys from your doorstep.

Hi Paula,
I have missed your blogs as well as your column in Womans Day. Sorry to hear about your loss and all your problems. Keep a positive outlook. Better days are sure to come. Hope yuo get to keep the things you want in the settlelment.
Marilyn

Dear Paula,
You have my deepest sympathy and I hope that he will work with you on all these matters. Our daughter has been going through a nasty divorce since Dec 09, and I mean nasty. Her soon to be ex has harrassed and intimidated her every chance he’s gotten. They didn’t have a whole lot of possessions but what they had she paid for. She only got the baby’s furniture but that’s okay. At least she doesn’t have to deal with him but on a limited basis now. The divorce won’t be final until this summer. We live one day at a time, one step at a time. Take your time and don’t let anyone intimidate you OR steal your joy. God bless you and good luck!! RobinA Texas

Hi Paula,
I know this time is mind boggling painful. Divorce is worse than death. In death we morn the person we loved and after a period of morning are able to move on. With divorce that person is still there. They, whoever "they" are) say to give yourself at least 3 years to "morn" this loss. The things are only that in the big picture, just "things." Pictures, things passed down to us from lost loved ones or ancestors…these are irreplacable. Tables, chairs…these are things you can accumulate again.
Your children are also going through this loss and this makes it even harder for you. (It did me…I couldn’t cry without my daughter coming unglued. I would go outside and try to be alone and she was so in tune with me it’s like she just knew.) It has been 19 years now since my divorce. My children are grown and I have grandchildren now. Looking back what was the most important thing? My ex and I decided not to put our children in the middle. (So much easier said than done). They could be at either house without feeling like they had betrayed one or the other. The only rules were, they couldn’t go to other parent’s house simply because they were angry with the residing parent…(great rule for the teen years 🙂 and they couldn’t move back and forth during a school year. It turned out to be the best choices we made.
My ex and I had a disagreement. He had a girlfriend and I disagreed. However, a child’s self worth is based on the relationship they have with both of their parents. All three of our children turned out to be adults any parent would be proud of.
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you and your family are going through. Believe it or not, it will get better and easier. It just won’t get there quickly.
You and your family are in our prayers.
Hugs
Tammie

Oh dear…you take me back to 1982 when after 3 yrs of marriage, having met my DH when studying psychology..he went on into the job and was heading towards a breakdown (which came 6 yrs later, along with an apology) and so he left.
Came home and told me he had a flat…..so I found boxes and went around the kitchen on the premise of, was it his 3 yrs ago or mine….was it a present from my friends or his.
The furniture stayed here for another 6 months or so….and then I bought the sofa and chairs that was all I could afford at the time……and believe it or not…I am still using the wooden framed sofa. Did sell the chairs.
All the best…..It does settle.