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Hello Friends!
I am writing this blog post after I’ve taken 25 hand sewn items and entered them in our local County Fair. Second guessing my abilities, my creativity, and working to shush that voice that says “are you really a Maker”?
There is a certain vulnerability that comes with walking into a fair and seeing your creation sitting among someone else’s beautiful work. For a moment, that little voice can start comparing. But today I decided that entering isn’t about proving that I’m the best. It’s about being brave enough to put something I made out into the world and to be proud of that.
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So today on the blog, I’m talking about imposter syndrome in the creative life—and learning to believe that maybe we really do belong here.
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What really started some of the recent intimidation is that I opened an online Shopify store a few months ago. It was my plan to sew twelve of my Journaling Tote Bags – made from a pattern that I designed, critiqued, tweaked, and fine tuned until it was a perfect pattern. So I made them… was ready to put them in the store and I started second-guessing myself. “I think I should add some free accessories to make them more sellable”. Which I did. (FOUR accessories to each bag, to be exact.) And with all that… with all the care and love and time and making them out of the most beautiful quality fabric… I was STILL intimidated to open my shop and put myself out there. Long story short… I did it. AND all 12 bags sold in a day!
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I have been an Ambassador for a fabric manufacturing company called Poppie Cotton since the company was founded about 7 years ago. I’ve sewn with every single one of their fabric collections. I’ve worked closely with the owners of the company. (See my blog post here from last summer when I finally got to meet Jina in person!) I have sewn with and promoted every fabric collection, I have done freelance work for them in difference areas (small and huge projects), I have been in continual communication with Jina and her business partner Lori in so many things. But here’s the thing… I often still feel like my projects never measure up to the other Ambassadors. I will second guess every single thing I make!
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The funny thing about Imposter Syndrome is that it usually affects high achievers; people that actually DO have great abilities. It also often affects people that pride themselves on their ability to multi-task. Which then leads to burnout. And I’ve decided that is probably where I’m at. I feel like in the sewing/crafting creative world, I can do all the things and I pride myself on that. But I also tend to do that very thing… do all the things and then crash a bit. I’m there… kind of crashing!
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I love to sew things that are my own pattern that I’ve designed; which is kind of silly. There is actually nothing new under the sun!! But for some reason it means something to me. I’ve recently fine-tuned a pattern I designed for a Letter Writing Kit. I’ve gotten my pattern to the point where it is so lovely and that is my next goal for a drop in my online store… everyone needs a Letter Writing Kit! So, I’ve been sewing a handful of them and they are inspiring and lovely. Will I actually have the courage to try to sell them??? Or will I just give them away because I’m too embarrassed to price them for what they are worth and to be proud of the workmanship they are? This is Imposter Syndrome at its best!
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I’m learning that there is a difference between saying, “This is perfect,” and saying, “I am proud of what I made.” I don’t have to convince everyone that my work is worthy. I simply need to recognize the thought, time, skill, and love that went into creating it. I don’t have to apologize for the price or the time it took, or the fact that I made it yourself.
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. I’m learning that there is a difference between saying, “This is perfect,” and saying, “I am proud of what I made.” I don’t have to convince everyone that my work is worthy. I simply need to recognize the thought, time, skill, and love that went into creating it.
Maybe part of getting past imposter syndrome is simply giving ourselves permission to say the words without qualification.
I am a quilter.
I am a sewist.
I am a maker.
I design things.
I create things.
Not because I am the best. Not because I know everything. But because I love making things with my hands, and I’ve spent years learning how to do it.
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Maybe it doesn’t mean that the little voice of doubt disappears completely. Maybe it simply means we learn not to let that voice make our decisions for us.
We sew anyway. We design anyway. We enter the fair anyway. We put our creations up for sale anyway.
We keep learning. We keep trying. We make mistakes, pull out stitches, change our plans, and sometimes start all over again.
And somewhere along the way, we begin to realize that we don’t have to earn the right to call ourselves makers. We already are.
So here is my advice to myself tonight as I finish up this blog post:
My work doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be mine.
I plan to give myself a little grace. Look at what my hands have already made. Look at how much I’ve learned. And then sit down at my sewing machine and make something else.
Maybe confidence comes because we keep creating. And that’s what I plan to do!
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Until our gravel roads cross again… so long!
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Dori
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