[Previous Rural Farmgirl, April 2009 – May 2010]
Do you remember when children would make a phone by taking two tin cans and tying them to the opposite ends of some string? I recall doing this in elementary science class. We took two large paper cups or tin cans, punched a hole in the bottom center of each can or cup, then cut about 100 feet of kite string, pulled the string through both cups and tied it down. The key, of course, was to keep the string pulled tight, allowing the sound waves to travel across the string and into the other cup.
This is a "brilliant" statement on listening! Active listening is an art that is learned. If I could learn the art I would have many many friends. People love to know you are listening to them. Thank you for the blog.
What a great blog, Rene! And so timely. I was just thinking on that same verse this week and making a conscious effort to think of all the things that I felt were true, noble, right, pure, and lovely. As I did I could feel myself rising above the mundane useless things that sometimes weighs us down. I felt my spirit lifting and before I knew it, I felt like putting music on the stereo. It was amazing how the thought suddenly occurred to me that "there is so much to think of that is good and so much time has been wasted!" I am making an effort to keep those thoughts foremost in my mind so that as noise-makers come my way I do not let them steal my thoughts. Thanks for the encouragement that you have given.
So true. As a music teacher I am always saying ,"Are you listening to what I am saying?" "Are you listening to what you are playing? What others are playing?" I probably say "listen" 100 times a week! However, often times, it is I who is guilty of not listening. I think we are so use to half-listening that we forget to truly hear.
This is a very profound and timely Bloggie Rene’, and you hit several "nails" on the head. I am also keenly aware when someone listens, and I find I must also practice the art of listening, as it is not a passive mental activity. It feels very fullfilling to be "engaged" in conversation, and unfortunately that doesn’t happen often.
I also find fault with technology in the demise of interpersonal skills, which is rampant in our culture, and I place primary blame on tee vee. Most people aren’t used to reading and thinking and developing an idea or opinion. Viewers of tee vee are used to being "told", and what passes as conversation these days is more like two people swapping disconnected statements about the same subject, with one thinking of what to say next while the other is talking, instead of actually listening. It’s sad.
On a brighter note, it is so refreshing and gives such a feeling of connection, when we do encounter a person like the Gentleman you describe, and we remember those moments, and look froward to seeing them again. Like a lone Daisy in a field of dry grass, those people look positively beautiful.
GodSpeed to Y’all…
Gary
in Tampa
Very well said Gary.. see I am listening :)… and learning.
Rene, you have done it again! This must be ‘hit home’ week. I started working intently on this very process in the last few weeks! And I am really enjoying listening to others. I have to catch myself when I want to interject my thoughts….way too much (old habit). It sure takes practise but I love the results. I even made a new friend and reconnected to an old one.
This was a wonderful post and I loved every word. Thanks for sharing what and how you feel!
Thank you for this timely and truth-filled post, Rene.
It really does make such a difference when we take time to stop and really listen to one another.
Oh, but that pruning part … that’s not so much fun, necessary but not fun 😉 . You are the second voice to speak that word this week … I must be in for it soon!
And now, I’m off to make one of those phones, I’ll let my girlies play with it for a while and then find a place to put it as a reminder for myself. Thank you for the great idea.
Bless you,
Catherine 🙂
What an excellent blog…I have been thinking some of these same thoughts myself….it gets harder and harder to feel "heard" these days. Thanks for saying it all so well.
Your description of the gentlemen from your church, brings back such lovely memories of my dear wonderful late Aunt Dorothy. She was such a wonderful active listener, always making each one of us so special when having a conversation with her. She was also a letter writer. I treasure my saved correspondance with her.
Thank you for the memory of her today.
Active listening, letter writing, and better penmanships are all techniques that I am trying to better in myself, and I definitely need the reminder.
Thank you.
Rene,
As always your blog leaves me inspired.
I worked with young children for years and the magic that made it work was in believing in them. Children, and people in general, will live up to what you say of them. If you tell a child he/she is brilliant and smart and funny and wonderful…they are. (Unfortunately this works in reverse as well.)
I can’t remember how many times I’ve told a parent that would be explaining to me how "bad" their child is… to be careful with what they say. The child will live up to it. So what is the worse that can happen when you tell a child he/she is brilliant and smart? There is no worse scenario there.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Tammie
True, so very true:) My daughter and I have been discussing about how people can no longer "sit still". What’s up with this? We find that it is not only a problem for children, but adults as well. How can we listen to others or even be heard ourselves if we can’t be still? Like your son training his puppy, it takes discipline, something that seems to be lost in this time. Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God." How can we notice the "awesomeness" as we run through life?
I know what you mean, I watch people and it has become less of an art and more of a battle. Most people don’t really listen to what is being said, rather they prepare a rebuttal or redirect the conversation to something more pertinent to their lives. Conversation is something we are losing as a society. It’s being replaced with an electronic abbreviation. You’re right, text messages and emails have isolated us from the people we need. God created us for fellowship with others as well as with Him. These relationships are the heart and soul of neighbors and families. Society is becoming addicted to the ability to edit and prepare a conversation rather than to "perform live" with those around us. As a terribly shy person I have fought to stay in the mix, but it’s hard. I’ve tried to overcome my short comings with humor, that’s sometimes even worse. It’s much easier to resort to a well prepared email or text message.
How right you are, most people don’t take the time to really listen, they are too interested in talking about themselves. My husband and I make it a practice to really listen to each other and other people. If one of us slips, the other one reminds.
AMEN. Thanks for your astute real-time rendering of that great part of Phillipians and the quote also from Maya Anjelou. You rang some Christmas Bells, sister! Susan