That was such a beautiful post! It brought tears to my eyes. I am a quilter and love to make the scrappy ones too! I really think you should dig right in and make that quilt in honor of your dear friend!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts today. Your words have just truly touched my heart.
Blessings!

"Ditto" to the comment above!! 😀
I SO enjoyed this post.
And, I agree with Sue… DIG IN! :0)
Warmly ~

I loved your post! I never thought of using my mother’s old clothes for a quilt. I lost my mother 2 years ago and kept some of her blouses for good memories. My mother was my bestfriend and to have her around me would be a nice feeling again. Thanks for sharing!!

Loved your Quilt story I don’t quilt but like you I have always loved them but your story of your sweet friend reminded me of my friend as a child she was like a grandma to me from Wisconsin that I loved and my wonderful grandma
that made me a doll quilt that I still have. Thanks for the moment to reflect of my family and friend that I hold dear to my heart.

Sooo very true! I have one that I treasure that my moms friend made for my oldest daughter. It was made out of her husbands jeans. It is the pretties and most cherished of all our quilts. I love the photo of the quilt on the fence and love the quilt shop pic. Great post!

I’ve only subscribed to this site a short time ago, but I relish the notice saying a blog has arrived. I have inherited a set a quilts given to me by my grandmother that were made for her and my grandfather as a wedding present by my grandfather’s grandmother. My grandmother never used them, thinking they were too delicate, but I’ve used them because I think they SHOULD to be used. All those tiny stitches made by a woman who could barely see, but wanted to give a gift of love. Shortly before my grandparents were married, my grandfather’s dearly beloved ‘ganga’ died. Now I feel all these wonderful energies from this woman and my foremothers, and keep them close.

Thank you for your beautiful post on a subject that is so special to me! I am a quilter. I don’t get to do it nearly as much as I would like (between two kids, homeschooling, and just manning the household). I started quilting when I was 32. I was usually the youngest person in the class. I have not made a scrappy quilt yet because we have so many of them that my husbands grandmother made. These also happen to be my kids favorite quilts. The do seem warmer and softer. Grandma Sara had 14 children and every quilt seemed to have outgrown or wore out pajama fabrics, misc clothing. They didn’t have money for fancy cloth and the quilts were for function. Every grandchild received a quilt on the 13th Christmas. I hope to pass that tradition onto my own grandchildren.

For me, quilting is my special time to be reflective; it’s calming when alone, but wonderful in a group. So, I wish HAPPY QUILTING to you!

Thank You~ I admire you for finding the time to do it.. I think I will jump on in and give it a try.. again!

That was the most precious story, thank you for sharing. I have made quilts off and on for about 20 years, nothing spectacular, but there is something about quilts that warms peoples hearts when they recieve one, and knowing you are making one for you and Marie I’m sure will warm your heart and inspire you every step of the way, you may even find when it is done that there are things in there that you know you wouldn’t have normally chose to do, but Marie would have, enjoy the experience 🙂

Hi Rene,
I almost deleted your post without reading it then the picture popped up. Wow, did that get my attention. I LOVE QUILTS, too. But take heart, you are a quilter. To quote myself, from an essay I wrote entitled Quilting Is A State of Mind,(published in the Country Register) "I consider my writing as quilting. Each word, alone, says little. Put together in just the right order, with each word carefully chosen for alliteration as well as definition, I piece together a meaningful story that, hopefully, makes a difference in someone’s life."
I’ll email you the entire essay. I think you’ll enjoy it.
Blessings,
Carol

Thank You Carol, I look forward to reading your essay.

Wow, what a great story. Where did you take the photograph at the top of the post? Is it at Sister’s?
My sister and I are avid quilters and like to do most of our piecing and quilting by hand. Recently, our mom asked us if we would quilt a top that was pieced by our grandma from Mom’s baby dresses. We are excited to make that our winter project.
Hope you jump into your project with both feet

The photo I took at Buggy Barn’s recent quilt show. They are in Reardon WA.

I’m sitting here with happy tears in my eyes. For the past month, I’ve been sleeping with a special quilt of mine. The pieces were put together by my Great Grandma, The back was added by my Grandma, and she let me help pull yarn through to tie the quilt. It’s an odd assortment of new (1960’s & early 70’s) materials and some much older. It’s precious to me. You have such a way with words! I could "see" ladies bent over their quilts, working away with hands of love. Thank you!
Nita Jo

Hi, I have two quilts made by my Aunt. One has pieces of a dress I wore as a child. My sister gave me a quilt made by our grandmother. My sister used it and it became frayed around the edges. I took it and made Teddy bears for my daughter, my sister and myself (mines still a work in progress), I also took a piece and used it as backing for a picture of the Grandmother who made it. Also I have her reading glasses and I put those in with the picture, all in an old oval frame with convex glass. I made quilts for each of my children, just simple 9 patch that are tied. Really enjoy your blogs. Take care.

Hi Rene,
This is my first time responding to your blogs, although I have enjoyed so many of them. The quilt subject just spoke to me. I can identify with treasuring them and enjoying working with someone on them. I belong to a quilting guild and some of my dearest friendships have been born there. I don’t know if you have access to a guild in your area, but if you do, I would encourage you to go to a meeting. Like anything, you will have to decide if it would be a "fit" for you. Some guilds are a little "stuffy" and think everything must be done perfectly. Thank goodness ours is a wonderful encouraging, teaching and nurturing guild. Our motto is "Finished is better than perfect"! As another blogger said, I believe you are already a quilter – a quilter of words. Always wished I could be that! Thanks for your amazing insight into people’s souls.

Wow! That tickeled my heart. I always said if I could afford
to pay someone to help me around the house it would be with my laundry! We have six children and when they were little it just seemed liked unsurrmountable mountains of laundry would always be there! Soo when I would have trouble sleeping I would start telling myself I just needed to get up andgo work on that laundry, beleive it or not but that would put me out like a light. Like you I loved the feeling I got looking into my well organized closets and draws.

Wow Rene, I can relate! I use to hate laundry and then I started hanging my clothes out and now I love it!I think it is being able to go outside and breathe while I am still doing "housework"…now if I could only do the rest of the stuff outside,I would be set!

If you find anyway to enjoy the dishes let me know. I’ve tried everything from rock ‘n roll to classical music.I even tried making the kid do it-forget that, I want the dishes done today. Plus, there was the time I happened to walk in the kitchen and the son had the plates on the floor and the dog was licking them clean! Did he do the dishes we just ate off of? Ewwww!!!

Anywhoo, love your blog. enjoy it alot.Thanks and blessings to you.

I have hung out my clothes for years, but I was wondering if anyone had a good homemade clothes softener mix.

Pat~ I think that there are several over at the farmgirl connection… http://www.maryjanesfarm.org  click on chat with other farmgirls.

I like this one as well.

1 cup glycerin

1 gallon water

Mix together

Ass 1/2 mixture to wash or rince cycle~ hang clothes as normal to dry.

I finally went through my closet and got rid of all my black,and tan clothes! I have felt brighter and much more cheerie! I’ve been wearing so much more color and it really does affect my mood for the better. I figure God gave us all of these wonderful colors so why not use them. Oh our house is an old little farm house painted curry yellow,green trim, eggplant shutters and red doors!! People come in and always say they wished they would have the courage to try more color, hey it’s only paint!!!!!

Point well taken~

I added a little yellow and purple this year… and I have to admit I feel sassy wearing it 🙂

You are so right Rene’…
I betcha’ we all have some "chore" we dislike, and some we enjoy…
I enjoy working with my feral Cats, as I keep a feeding station stocked, and I like tending my Herb and Flower Garden each mornin’…
I dislike laundry perhaps as much as you, so I keep enough "fluff n’ stuff" to go for two weeks. It takes two hours to do laundry properly, whether I have one load or four, and since I can’t control that, I keep the frequency to a minimum. I despise dusting, but hey… I like a clean Home, so it just must be done.
Thank You so very much for your kind inquiry about Midnight Rene’. He is much better, after a very close call with a fever, and he had to stay two days in the Hospital. I am so Happy to have him Home and healthy.
Health, physical and Spiritual are cornerstones, ‘eh… if we lose them, nothing else much matters, even dusting. *WINK*
GodSpeed to Y’all…!
Gary
in Tampa

This is such a powerful conversation. Here is what I do. I have taken on surprizing and delighting all the folks in my family and community, there are over 200 of them, with the completion of those repetitive, daily, often mundane tasks! So I keep my "worship power" or my attention in other words on the benefit of those tasks completed for the entire, farm, household, business, whatever the context might be. I have also learned to make requests of others, not an easy task for me, to keep things in nice shape, clean up after themselves etc. so the kitchen, shed, barn, office…. continues to shine after my work!
Thank you for bringing this topic up for us all.
Terces

It is worth repeating…hanging clothes outside is the best, especially sheets. Moving back to eastern Washington from western Washington was the opportunity to have a clothesline and hanging clothes outside is my favorite chore. Hey, tomorrow is sheet washing day…on a sunny fall day.

How funny! I always felt that there must be little laundry gremlins or something that fed the laundry so that it always seemed to be growing no matter how much wash I did or how regular. But, I do have to admit that clothes lining is the best! Nothing like line dried sheets to snuggle into at night. Incentive to do one other chore weekly, change all the beds! 🙂

I once met an honest washing machine salesman and he said you can use ‘regular’ detergent in the front loaders – just use a lot less. I have been for 5 years with no problems. I use about 1/8 of a cup (I really eyeball it). The special detergent was backed by the manufacturers so they would want us to buy the expen$ive detergents. I will give the homemade stuff a try. Love the clothes line too.

Enjoyed reading through this site, I will send this site to a few of my friends

I can remember when I was young going to the fair and being there all day doing all kinds of things, I too am older so I am not there as long and don’t do even half of what I use to, and the fair food, not a chance. I still love going and watching the grandkids have fun and seeing the different crafts. I think the fair is part of the family experience, I loved it as a child and I loved it as a parent and I absolutely love it as a grandparent.

Rene,
I hear your message. I thought the B-F County Fair was smaller than last year. However, the TCH said that the attendance was the same. I thought the parking lot looked less full. I contribute that to the rising prices and economy though. I did enjoy visiting the booths, though some of my favorites weren’t there. I loved the Farmer’s Market. I also visited the animals also. I love chickens and rabbits. Glad you enjoy it too. Do you go to the fair in Yakima?

Rene: Now that my husband and I are older, we love to go to a few Minnesota county fairs and watch some of the kids in 4-H so we can root for them at our state fair. It’s on right now and is the largest fair in the country.
I don’t go on the rides any more but once awhile as we walk to the dairy barn we’ll catch those crazy new rides. I sure am glad I’m on the ground.
Sometimes I enter quilts my husband enters bonsai )little trees);and our bonsai club does an exhibit, competition and demonstration.
We also talk to people about having a pond at their home or farm while standing in front of the Minn. Watergarden society’s pond.
But my favorite part is working in the educational exhibits called The Moo Booth in the Dairy Barn.
I used to be a 4H leader too.
In other words, we LOVE the fairs, all of them!

Bonnie Ellis

Every year, my sister and I go to our local fair in Woodstock, CT. My family and I don’t agree on what interests us at the fair. But Sis and I can count on each other for a good time, good food and great company….together.

Hey Rene-

Our county fair just ended and we logged approximately 80 hours of attendance over the course of the week! We got discounted week passes for being exhibitors (our first time) and so we were there as much as possible. We took a number of white and red ribbons, and I got a blue ribbon on a skirt I made! Yippee!! So…we also get checks in the mail in a few weeks that will offset the price of our passes. So cool!

I love fair time because it is the only time we run into old school mates and many family members. I got to do so much catching up and spent four hours with a best friend I haven’t seen in 10 years…wonderful! We also worked the 4H food booth and the dairy booth (the kids earned some of their meals and snacks!) and I spent time in the Handmade and Homegrown building, getting to know some neighbors I’d never met before and meeting new crafters…also wonderful!

I’m with you on the carnival rides, however. Didn’t ride a one! But my kids rode a few which was the first time they had done that as we generally avoid that area. $5 a ride is very pricey, however, so they only used tickets that were gifted to them.

We are still recovering from our weeklong diet, and catching up on sleep, but we had a wonderful time and are already working on next year’s exhibits!

Enjoy the rest of your summer and fair days…

Carrie

Very nice site!

Oh, to find a like maiden entrenched in the love of tea and a quiet moment in life. Tea brings to me the same feelings, it gives me time to settle down, savour the morning or the day. Eventho I love the look of a Tea for One, I really believe tea is to be enjoyed with a friend to derive the most benefits. I am so fortunate to belong to a guild of like minded ladies. In fact on Saturday we dressed for A Morning in Paris, 1915 to ride in a restored open touring bus of Yellowstone around Idaho Falls. Visiting the farmers market, the artisians market, the museum with a bicylce exhibit and the Paris room of the local theme hotel. We recieved a posey in a french cart, had cream puffs at the bakery and enjoyed a brunch. What a kick! "Tea" runs through my veins.

Rene,
I have a 17 year old daughter and every year for the past five or so we have hosted a tea party for her friends and their mothers. We generally have it the first week of December, share Christmas stories and exchange gifts. We have a marvelous time just being girls/ladies.
We use my grandmother’s teacup and saucer collection (the only time of year it comes out of the attic) and everyone brings their favorite dainties to snack on.
I encourage everyone to have tea parties. If you don’t have a daughter, borrow one. You will be blessed.

A sign of the times. I have gathered together invitations and a menu. I have the perfect out fit to wear. And I will have a magical tea party, with my sister in law and my great nieces. The key will be they are in another state. We will do it via Skype on the computer. I cant go visit. They are in school. So we will do it the new way.
They are 4 and 7. I know it is not conventional. I think this will be fun. I didnt discover tea parties till I was an adult. To much of a tom boy.

Don’t you adore SKYPE? It is the third best thing to being there ( 1. being there, 2) them being here 3) skype… 🙂

My three year old granddaughter, her little friend and my daughter came to our home last Spring for their very first tea party. It was a delightful and memorable day which I will always cherish. The little girls were dressed in pink party dresses and matching hats. My granddaughter had been waiting several weeks for this tea party. She ran up to the table I had been preparing for two days and exclaimed, "Oh my tea party, my tea party!" Her little friend was wide eyed and speechless. The tea party table was decorated with white lace, pink roses, ribbon and lavender. Per my granddaughter’s request, tea sandwiches, strawberries and tiny cupcakes were served and of course tea or pink lemonade. The crowning touch of the table was  pink and white rose dishes, which belonged to my mother. After the girls completed tea and treats, they went to the end of the table where I had placed a small table of teddy bears and dolls to have their tea party. We moved them to the floor where tea party number two began. My tea pots and tea cups that day were especially enchanting.I can still hear the clanging of cups and the sweet little voice saying "Tea for two!

You have spoken a true word. I believe that a true teacher knows when someone is "learning" from them. The student will "draw" it out of them. Also, there are those students that have the desire to learn taken from them by methods that are not productive, like what I experienced when young. I usually did not like when it was time to go back to school in the Fall, either as a child or when my daughter was young. It seemed that we "learned" so much during the summer, maybe because our classroom was the outdoors through gardening and gathering the harvest, reading books that interested me, swimming, and creative play with the neighbors which taught us how to get along with others. It was such a relaxed time which, for me, was the perfect atmosphere for learning.

Those very things were what we tried to impart as we homeschooled our last two children….we helped nurture in them a desire to learn, taught them what tools were available to assist in that learning, and turned them loose!

Our youngest, our only son, is now in the electrical business with his dad. He is constantly still learning although he graduated homeschooling more than ten years ago!

When his dad suffered two heart attacks two Februarys ago, he was able to step up and run the business with the "tools" he had been equipped with mentally….

I was so much like you in public schools….I had a deep deep deep love for reading and read constantly but I had trouble in high school…one teacher constantly graded my papers with "F’s" saying there’s no way a high school student could write them….but I KNEW she was wrong because I had a good little business going on the side doing everybody else’s homework for them and they all made "A’s" and "B’s"….I know now that was wrong but it was sure funny at the time!!!!

That particular teacher made my life SO MISREABLE in school that when, years later, my mama called me to tell me that the teacher had choked on a bone in a local restaurant and DIED, I could feel no sympathy, only relief…

I would have surely gotten into major trouble without the guidance of Mrs. Pesnell, a science and biology teacher…she kept a stack of inspirational magazines on her desk..and she constantly told me that I could write as well as any of the writers in those periodicals! One of the articles I later wrote and SOLD was about that dear lady and how her gift of Air Mail Stationery (so that me, a little hippie, could write to the love of my life stationed in Vietnam) was such a silent but encouraging gift to me…along with all her other encouragements…

She’s been dead several years but I truly mourned HER…She REALIZED and ACTED ON the fact that all children don’t learn the same ways…

Thank you so much for your thoughts!

This should be required reading for all teachers, both those who are just entering the system and those who’ve been there a while! While I was in school, I could turn in homework, extra assignments & nail an A every time, but in spite of the fact that I was considered a "gifted student", and had an above-average IQ, put a test in front of me & I’d collapse.

My two daughters, both of whom have IQs higher than me, are very different. One of them excels in math, has a very up-front personality, and charges through life like a major tornado (which is why her nickname is chaos). School for her was a breeze, being moved ahead in classes by one year & still graduating from high school a year early. At age 40, she holds down a full-time job at the post office, plus is a manager in a direct sales business, and mother of two teen-age sons. The other daughter is more like her mother … math classes are a constant horror, she has to slowly take things in and work them over in her mind before they take hold, and any assignment is a breeze as long as she can do it her way. She worries herself half to death before finals, and figures by the time she’s finished with college, she’ll be drawing Social Security. In spite of that, she finished up her undergraduate work this past spring while holding down a full time job, and is enrolled at the university to earn her BA in Anthropology. If I’d had the kind of strength & encouragement we gave them, I’d have my BA by now. How I wish my teachers had seen this blog!

Thanks for that. I know that my picking up a book called "They way they learn" when my kids were little, changed the course of my life and theirs. The Author is Cynthia Tobias and she also wrote one called "every child can succeed". To bad they arent required reading.

Hello again Rene, Books by John Holt are excellent insight in teaching. He wrote books about the fact that "learning is as natural as breathing" and how we can nurture and encourage natural abilities in our children. I think these should be "required" reading for college students looking for a teaching degree. He was a "reformer" so he was controversial for the education system. I keep a couple of his books "How Children Learn" and "How Children Fail" as references that I reread from time to time. Reba

I too "went home",knowing that the "old school" had been torn down, except for the gym, where we had walked across the stage to graduate. This left-over has become the town,s Fine Arts Center, and looks the same as it did 44 years ago (and it was old then!) The "old brick building" was new when I was a third grader, and still stands–holding only offices and some disability services now. Nostalgia rained! A total love/hate relationship. Some houses still stood–good memories/not so good memories–it seems we all have those learking in our past. I took a job, teaching in the district for year, before retiring: new building, new people, new memories–a truely awesome experience, and not one that I would ever give up!

I think our men just have to act tough on the exterior. My husband also said "no dogs!". My dad decided different and for my birthday brought me Lucy, she was a big black lab. Dad knew what my husband had said. He drove up to my back door, called me out and said "Happy Birthday!", handed me the lease and got back in his truck and left!! LOL My husband fussed for a few days, then I caught him! He was lovin all over her! Talking baby talk and all! It was heart warming. Now, I bring whatever animal in the house I want! He still acts tough… but, when I catch him in the moments! It is great! : )

Good Bloggie Rene’…
Y’all are giving Cole a wonderful experience by giving him a Doggie. He will have many moments of Joy in his Life, because of his bond with Drake. He will also learn a lot about loyalty, Love and responsibility, but most important…
Cole and Drake will have Fun.
GodSpeed to Y’all…!
Gary
in Tampa

Thanks Gary~ The fun has certainly begun.

Hi and I can’t even read all of these letters as I lost my Old English Sheep dog of 14 yrs last yr to old age and I am still sick over it. I realized that he was getting older and that he couldn’t live forever. Although I never saw the grieving that I did, coming my way. My husband even said that i didn’t grieve over family members that had passed as much as good ol’ Barkley. He grew up with my 5 kids. herded them down the halls of our home trying to help them get out the door each morning as they were headed out to school and when they were all gone for the day there sat Barkley and the Mom until 3 pm when the crazy fun began all over again with the kids return from school. The homework and sports would begin. We used to have an old VW bus that was named Barkley’s bus because that was his car to ride around town in as the family car was off limits to him. Head hanging out the window his tongue wagging in the wind. The kids in other cars pointing and waving at the dog that looked like he was right out of a Disney movie. Lost are the days but never the memories of our family mascot Barkley. 100 lb bundle of frolicking fun and a brother to all who knew him. We miss him and loved everyday.

Oh Rene, that picture of the puppy brought back happy memories for me. I have a chocolate lab that I got at nine weeks of age and she looked just like that! So adorable!

Kristen,

I will try to post more pictures of him.. he is a moose, now.  LOL  But such a cute moose for sure.

Very Interesting!
Thank You!

Thank you…

Very well spoken/written Rene’…
These losses are dificult to form thoughts about, and even more difficult to write about, because there is literally nothing to write about. It’s like trying to write about a fall… yes it happened, but sometimes there is no clear reason why.
In all of Life’s Journey, I find that five people have turned out to be True Friends… can be asked anything, and will respond as well as their resources allow, listen, and have proven the capacity to accept, understand, overlook, forgive, and ask right back with no "balance sheet" implied. Family is not included, as they are… well… Family.
Five… in a Lifetime… I am Blessed.
GodSpeed to Y’all…!
Gary
in Tampa

Thank you so much for that. Those are healing words for me. It’s been several years now, but I’m still grieving over a friendship I never thought would end. I could really relate to your story!

This has happened with a family member to me and the " not knowing what I did " has been driving me crazy. Thank you
for this article- it has helped me put it in perspective.

I have been blessed with such a good friend, that my own daughter will call her even when she is down or has a question. That is a testimony to how true this friendship is. She will answer my daughter honestly and will keep her confidence if asked. That makes me respect her even more. I could not ask for anyone better to give advice or just listen to me or my daughter. I have however experienced hurt from a friend before and never want to experience it again.

Thank you so very much,,,I recently put my foot in my mouth and in doing so may have hurt a very dear lady….something I would never have done if my mouth had not been in gear.
I think I need to heed your advice and send her an apology, long over due.
Thank you so very much for getting my brain in the right direction.
hugz to you,
>^..^<

Gracie~ You know I love you with ever fiber of my being~ as does most people that get to know you up close and personal… You will, as always, make it right…

Boy, I thought I was the only one who had this experience. I had a friend all through high school, through marriage and children and then one spring decided she was done being my friend. We had a disagreement, yes we did, but over all that time we spend together she had decided she was done. What hurt the most is she went to other "friends" and told them and talked about it before she even actually talked to me. She new this would hurt me because I am a private person and believe in solving conflict rather than feeding off it. I don’t like gossip either. It did take a long time and still stings every once in awhile. But, like you I have accepted ME. This is ME and this is the way I am. If I can’t fit into her mold then we don’t need each other. I am much happier with myself since I have discovered ME. I still see her and when I do we make plans to get together but that never seems to pan out. But, maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Thanks for the post. It makes me feel "normal"!

Jill~  Well I have never been accused of being "normal", but at least you arent alone LOL

Has this ever hit home with me. I lost contact with all my friends from high school due to constant moving. In February, I noticed a classmate on Classmates.com. As this is the 40th year after graduation, I sent an email to her. We were the last graduating class of a small Catholic High School in Cleveland. There were only 95 of us. I asked if she knew of anyone was planning a 40th reunion. Well . . .through her efforts, it’s going to happen. The response has been great. I may not be able to attend due to health reasons, but I have renewed friendships that I thought were forever lost. I’ve also learned a lot about myself, how much I’ve changed over the years, and that my adventures in life are quite unique. Most ask, "What are you doing in Idaho?" My answer is complex but it boils down to loving a simpler life and being out of the race called "rat". All it took was an email. I dance!!

Rene,
Wow, I had to realize this recently, not just with friends, but with acquaintances or people at church or other walks of life. "I am Me, who God made ME, I’m sorry if that doesn’t live up to your expectations." is what I have to tell myself so often.
I have a BEST friend. But to describe her, I tell people she is my sister. I choose sister because we have so many areas that we are different, but we are still friends because we respect each other’s differences and we have been through so much together and still love each other. We were roommates in college, were in each others weddings, attending the births of each other’s childrens, and my children call her Aunt Peggy and I’m Aunt Carol. To me, that is is the best friendship anyone can have.

Hi
Thanks for the support.
I’ve been reading your posts, and I’m thinking about what I’ve learned as people have come and gone in my life. I agree that all we can do is be the best us we know how to, live in such a way you can sleep at night, face God. And the rest we have to let go. We can’t control another. I’ve seen people make what I think are strange and tragic decision in their relationships, and it seems they felt entitled or were self-protective in some way. No matter, it never made sense, and their was pain in the wake. They are the ones who lose the most.
My own story involves my dad. He seemed to like me less and less as I got older. I tried to get him to like me, it just never happened. We had never had words, so there was not an event I could point to. Our relationship just started downhill and never recovered. I really don’t know what happened. He died over 20 years ago, and it was never resolved. It took me a long time to realize and say it was his loss, and take the blame off me. You know that prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. that works for me.
Linda

Thanks Linda~

The loss of a parent either through death of through choice is a painful event for sure. I have had to remind myself, that "people cannot give, what they dont have". Often times we want people to give us what we need ~ knowing full well they don’t have it to give…and that is sad for them.

Thank you this has helped, I like that saying. Two of my best friends since grade school stopped talking to me in 2006, we graduated from school in 1984 that is how long we have been friends. Even with my moving around the state to other states and back. To this day I do not know what happened. It was Labor day weekend and we all said see each other Monday. Monday came around and one friend didn’t show up, we called and called and called, stopped by her place no answer. Me and one friend kept in contact all through the rest of that year into the holidays. January 2007 came along and both of my friends went a way for a weekend. And after that I lost contact with both of them. I called the one friend, lets call her "Lara" by phone most of that year, but only by phone, could never get out of her what happened, why wasn’t we will call this friend "Debra", she talking to me, what did I do? She wouldn’t say. Finally Lara stopped talking to me. A year ago I ran into Debra, and she had this surpise look on her face, and I just cooly said to her, "hi, how you doing?, I see you are driving a different car now", and asked if she still worked at the same place. She answered me, didn’t ask me one question about how I was doing, got into her car and left. We all use to go to the same laundry mat, they both stopped going to it. Lara use to have bbq’s were she invited both of us to, she don’t invite me. Debra even has moved, and her own sister don’t know were she moved to. Another friend we all have in common since 2006 has her one brother die, and her dad die and had heart attack and neither one would go to the funerals or know about her having a heart attack. They have not just stoped being friends with me, but with her and Debra hasn’t seen her sister since 2006, and they both lived in the same town, well use to, like I said Debra moved.
I think it bothers me more is Lara, she knows what happened and sided with Debra, and I am still in the dark in what happened. But once again thank you for that saying, it does really help.

Thank you. This brought tears to my eyes. I had a friendship like that. In fact, I met her when I was 15. I am almost 30 now, and a couple of years ago, it was heart breaking. It was just like that. But this helped tremendously… you won’t realize how many people you helped with that little healing salve. It’s very hard to get over. In fact, I may never quite get over it…well, maybe I will, but that did some help. Thanks so much, Rene.

Rene,
A friend who’s never wanted for anything recently called and asked how much she should be spending on groceries. With the bottoming out of the construction field last year, her husband had not had work for some time.
I grew up watching my mom stretch the pennies and told my daughter, "I will never complain again. I think it is much easier living a life of ‘making do’ than it is having to learn how out of necessity."
My husband is currently out of work. I’m a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom. I thank God he has taught us that it’s not how much money you make, it’s what you do with what you have.
One more line…before you go out and buy something ask yourself, "What do I have in my hand?" meaning what can I use that will suit the purpose.
Blessings,
Carol

Carol,

You and many others of us have had to really re-think our priorities. I am thankful that we as "farmgirls" have taken the time to really grasp this attitude of "making do" or do without. I hope too that we always are willing to give a hand out to help someone with a hand up. These times that we are in will define and refine all of us, one way of another..

Best of wishes to your hubby as he searches for ways to keep the family finances coming in. I believe in abundance, but often times it just takes a more creative thinking then some are conditioned for. Please keep me updated on your progress. You can always email me at Rene@MaryJanesFarm.org

My daughter graduated from college in 2003, then went to Poland to teach. Many of the people in the areas that she lived were still familiar with the "communist" rule and lived on basic necessities. She learned while at home to be frugal (living on a budget, staying debt-free, etc), but she really learned even more "thankfulness" from these people. It has been amazing and wonderful to see her growth. She doesn’t consider the latest fads and fashions. She decides if something is a necessity, functional, and has quality. My Mom was the same, and always creative. I have returned to my roots through my daughter.

We take so much for granted dont we? Blessings to your daughter, few young people would take such a courageous route.

Postitive words are affirming and can change an outlook or an insight. Brilliant (couldn’t resist!)post! I enjoy writing notes to friends and try to do it often, even sending a handmade card to show them they are thought of with warmth.
Thanks for your words today!

I’m always amazed at how others perceive us. Since HS when my sister told me that my siblings called me "Queenie" behind my back. I was shocked and hurt. I was introverted, shy, not Aloof…why would they think that?
Over the years I have tried to be more open, more connected to people to be a friend, and recognize the positive in everyone. I try to be open to those that may be left out, because they are shy and possibly not "look at me" people. I have found new friends through my local Farmgirls Chapter, and love every single one, because they are my sisters. I’ll try to remember this for our Holiday Party. It will be so much more meaningful than a $10 gift.

Cynthia,

I think there will always be those that can’t or won’t see us for who we are. I am not sure if that is there issue or ours. I run into every now and again too. It is perplexing. I have come to believe that I can just be the best I know to be and let the rest be.  We are blessed to have so many amazing farmgirls sisters arent we? I would choose words from the heart over a $10 gift any day 🙂

I too love the hand-written word. Over the years, as my three sons grew, I wrote them love letters and love notes. Some letters were written because I felt they needed an extra boost of love, some because they passed an important mile stone. How fun it was to see them steal away to some private, quiet spot to see what I had written, what memories I would retell of their youth that I treasured. I do this for friends too, especially when life has been difficult or hard. I write love letters telling them how much their friendship means to me and IN DETAIL I describe what I love about them or why they are one of my personal heros or what lessons in life they may have taught me. The usual response is that it took their breath away because they had no idea that they could be viewed in such a way. The fact that I could recall something from when they were twenty or thirty for example, that I remembered their triumphs or was enchanted by some action of theirs THAT they had totally forgotten about, served to remind them of how special and capable they still are.
My mother wrote all her children love letters when she knew she was dying, to be opened after her death. She always told us she loved us, but oh .. how dear to be able to read her words over and over again. Best gift I have ever received!

I would like to forward this to a friend that I have not spoken to in two months all because of some words spoken in the negative. She so very negative and I don’t know why. She has a lot of good quality she could think about. If I forward this to her she might take it the wrong way. What do you think?

Hi Jean,

Hope you received my email. How are things with your friend?

I remember a sermon of my favorite pastor’s from quite a while back, in which he told a story of a man who went around gossiping unkind words about another person in their town. After a while, the man felt bad, so he finally went to his priest and confessed what he did. For his penance, the priest told the man to take dried leaves and place them on the front stoop of each doorway in the town. After he was done placing the last of the leaves at the last house, the man was to go back to the very first house and begin collecting all of the leaves from each of the houses, and bring them to his priest in a bag to show the priest he had done his penance. But, when the man went back to the first house, all of the leaves had blown away! It was the same at each house he went back to: all of the leaves were gone! He went to his priest and told him what happened, and apologized to him that he could not get the leaves back. His priest said to him, "You see my son, these leaves are like cruel and thoughtlessly spoken words. Once said, you are not able to retrieve them. Only an apology to the person you have injured can give you true relief, and God will know you are truly sorry… God always forgives those who asks."

My husband and I have taught our children that what they do always has an affect on others, in some way or other. And what they say has an affect on others as well; not only the words, but how those words are spoken. I was taught this from a very young age, and have always been reflective prior to speaking, most especially when talking about sensitive topics, or to a sensitive individual.

For this, I was recently rewarded (to my astonishment!), when someone who worked for me told me that I had changed the way she lives her life (and that her husband was so grateful for this as well)… she said she had observed how I contemplate what I say prior to speaking, and she has put this into practice and found herself much more peaceful and harmonious with others. This truly humbled me…

So, yes, words are powerful tools! And they can be amazing! And we should use them for wonderful purposes…

God Bless,
Sandy

Rene’, You really struck a chord with several of us—loved all of your comments. There
still is nothing better than a letter from my mom in the mailbox. As she ages, I am thinking I should start saving them. One more thing about "words". I love making pins for
my friends and coworkers–usually for Valentine’s Day. Last year I used magnetic words from the refrigerator poetry kits mounted on colored cardstock with a gluegunned pin on the back and let each pick one from a huge collection of words. It was so interesting to see who picked each one–depending on their personality or mood that day. Lots of jokes were abound with each trying to pick some for others too. The way we see ourselves is usually so different from the way others do. Bonnie

Thank you for reminding me today about the power of words. One of our beloved ministers always said, "You may be the only smile a person has today." I think that applies well to what you wrote about the words we have for others today.

Mariellan

What perfect timing…I am having trouble in my place of business right now. Two of my employees went at it during a group meeting. Harsh words, hurt feelings, misdirected anger. I asked them to work it out between themselves (this didn’t happen), I asked for them to apologize, one refused, and the tension is quietly building. I think I will post words, thoughts, positive encouragement in the lunch room, maybe the walls will come down. I am very concerned about the moral of the others, as well as the possibility of asking someone that has been with me for 8 years to please leave.
If you have any word suggestions, words with hope, please pass them on…..
Thank you for the inspiration, this is just what these two need!
LisaLu

Thank you for your understanding. You hit it right on the mark! I’ll get to work on this right away! Thanks again sister!
LisaLu

What a great idea for a farmgirl meet up! Thanks for the powerful blog and idea for our monthly meetup project..We’ll do that project in Oct. Thank you! Thank You!

It is a truly fortunate thing to have come across the Amish funeral. These experiences are a gift. A small glimpse into a different life indeed a reverent glimpse. These things always make me feel as though my eyes have been opened again and I feel better for it. Seeing that others live differently and well in their own way with conviction and dedication something I sometimes lack.

Thank you for such lovely thoughts, maybe if we could see thru a child’s heart and eyes or better yet the Lord’s heart and eyes we would have a peace and knowing that all is well with whom love. God Bless Kristen
P.S. I am very happy for you to spend the time to see the world around.

when we went to Lancaster PA with a Amish tour service, we were fortunate to see all the "buggies" gathered at a home for Sunday Services, we also went to a working Amish farm where things were run by a generator, no phones, or mirrors. We also went to an Amish country restaurant where seven sweets and seven sours were offered. Their Chicken Corn Chowder was very tasty . We went to a Amish store where there were quilts, wooden kitchenware, jams, jellies etc. They had a farmers market also. We saw the scene from "The Witness", and the phone booth. This was one of the most memorable trips we have taken, I would not hesitate to go back again.

Dear Rene: The Amish are so full of grace and caring. I had the privilege of living amongst them for several years in Pennsylvania many years ago. I tried to imagine what that funeral scene was like–I know you will never forget it, ever. I learned some wonderful things from them about cooking, housekeeping, gardening, crafts/sewing, faith, and living.
I loved the photo of you and Linda in the old cast iron tub. I have 3 of them tucked away in my back yard, mostly out of sight. They came from some old houses we owned years ago. I’d love to do something creative with them in my garden. Does anyone have any good ideas for what to do with them outside? Thanks and I am enjoying your blog–I am new to it.

MaryJane has her tubs set up with propane heaters for outside bathing~ there is nothing better… You can check in her outpost book for directions~  I love it~

Rene: I have lived all over Texas. Many times I have lived near the Amish. I admired them from afar. They seem to be such gentle people. I would imagine they NEVER disagree or have children that are stubborn. How uncomplicated their lives must be without television, cell phones, computers, vehicles that are unreliable at times. We take so much for granted in our lives. My husband and I often feel we were born 100 years too late. Today, with the economy as it is and our future cloudy, we should all return to a simpler life, be grateful for what we have and learn to do without. The Amish have survived hundreds of years, we can’t we?