Dear Little One

Happy Holidays Farmgirls!  It sure is feeling Christmassy around here.  Our tree is up, our stockings are hung (Santa even visited the stockings early…) and there are scraps of wrapping paper accumulating here and there.  I’ve sent off most of my gifts and have been contemplating what treats we should start baking.

Ava hangs her first ornament on our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

Ava hangs her first ornament on our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

This is not normal for me!  I’m usually a last minute shopper–even going out on Christmas Eve.  It turns out that nesting instincts in late pregnancy are great for rehabilitating this Christmas procrastinator!  it feels good to have nearly everything done with more than a week to spare.  I hope your holiday planning and festivities are going smoothly, too.

This Christmas is special for us–we don’t know how many people will be in our family come Christmas!  Three or four?!? Only time will tell.  However, I’m betting on three, I’m thinking this baby will come between Christmas and New Years…only time will reveal if my hunch is correct…although my practice Braxton Hicks contractions have been coming on pretty strongly over the last few days.  Also, my mother just arrived from Minnesota, so now my mind is super ready for this baby to come!

A little over two years ago, I wrote a letter to the then unknown little fetus, Ava.  It was one of the most therapeutic actions I took before her arrival, and I will cherish that letter, always.  I hope she will, too.  I guessed in that post that Ava would arrive a full thirteen days before she was actually born!  So…my guessing game doesn’t have a great track record.

This pregnancy, being my second, has been a little different.  There isn’t the same palpable sense of mystery, however the excitement is still there!  While the suspense surrounding becoming first time parents is long passed, we are full of nervous and excited anticipation about our growing family.  It’s interesting to me how my first pregnancy was all about the new baby, and this one is more about our family.

I have written another letter for this little guy or gal.  I hope you enjoy it.  Baby Wilder 2.0 is due Dec. 23–who knows when she or he will arrive? Soon!

You're getting pretty big in there, Baby.

You’re getting pretty big in there, Baby.

Dear Baby Wilder, 

This is your mama.  You have heard my voice since you could hear, you have felt me playing with your kicking feet, and you have listened to the rhythmic sloshing of my insides for quite some time.  You have also made your first impressions on me.  You seem to be a night owl, kicking and rolling into the wee hours of the morning.  You also want to make sure that I don’t accomplish too much during the day–my pelvic area is your favorite playground, leaving me pathetically pain ridden after a few hours on my feet.  

You have received countless kisses and raspberries from your big sister.  She loves babies and she will love you.  We can’t wait to see you two teach each other and learn from one another.  I imagine that you two will be a force to reckon with at times.  

Your father has a calming effect on you.  He has only felt you kick a few times because every time he puts his hand on my belly, you quiet down.  He is a pretty peaceful dude, so I get it.

You have already danced, hiked, cooked, sang and played with our family.  Your sister has climbed on you, your dog has sniffed you and your dad has sung to you.  We are all SO excited for you to make our family a foursome.  We are pretty fun people, we hope you love us as much as we love you.

This second pregnancy has been more difficult than my first in physical ways–I don’t have the luxury of napping at all times.  I was so sick with you for my entire first trimester plus a few weeks.  We moved and had to deal with a car accident all while I was fairly pregnant with you.  I’ve been chasing around (well…chasing is a strong word!  I’ve been waddling after) a busy toddler and trying to balance the well-being of the whole family (you included) while keeping my sanity and energy up.  

But you know what?

I’d do it a million plus infinity more times just for you.

You are worth it, and I can’t wait to see you and your future.

I have hopes and dreams for you too, little one.

I hope you understand that love is not a finite thing.  It grows and grows.  It follows no laws of conservation.  While time will be fragmented, our love for you never will be.  I hope you try your hardest at your endeavors and understand that failure is okay.  Failure is an opportunity to try again or attempt a new approach or at least an opportunity to meditate on what happened.  I hope you embrace your individuality and travel the paths that beckon you.  I hope you are full of adventure.

I dream that you will have a world outlook that takes in a multitude of perspectives.  I dream that you will make a difference in the lives of many.  I dream that you will be mostly happy in your life and with your decisions.  Mostly, I dream that you will always be loved as much as (or even more than!)  you are at this very moment.

You are already perfect to me.  You are the perfect little bubski.  You are the perfect addition to our family.  I know you will drive me crazy at times and make me feel like I’m living in a zoo…but it will be the most perfect kind of zoo!

I love you little one, and I am eagerly awaiting your decision to come earthside.  Stay cozy in there until your big day comes.

Love you forever and ever, 

Your Mama

For laughs, because we all need 'em.

For laughs, because we all need ’em.

Again, a very Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to you all.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Sending peace and Love from Alaska,

Alex, The Rural Farmgirl

Leave a comment 23 Comments

  1. Bonnie ellis says:

    Alex: What a sweet letter to your next babe. You are such wonderful parents and your children will be loved and cared for forever. I hope your delivery goes well and say hi to your mom from Minnesota, I’m from Minnesota too. Merry Christmas.

    • Alexandra Wilson says:

      Thank you, Bonnie! I will definitely send her some Minnesota greetings. She is happy to escape the “Seattle-like” weather of Minnesota and get some good ol’ snow. Merry Christmas to you, too.

  2. Dori Troutman says:

    Dear Alex,

    The letter made me cry. Then smile. Then cry some more. So very precious!

    And you look FABULOUS!!!!! I can’t wait for little baby Wilder to come and I’m so happy your own Momma is there with you. How long does she get to stay? I’m hoping baby comes soon!

    Big Christmas hugs!

    – Dori –

    • Alexandra Wilson says:

      Thanks, Dori! My mom is here for awhile–she doesn’t have a ticket home yet, so she can be here for at least a few weeks after the new arrival. I am so grateful. Christmas hugs to you and yours, too!

  3. Emma says:

    Eek! This made me a little verklempt, and not just because I miss you all so much. I cannot wait to meet the newest addition. You will be the best mama x2!

    • Alexandra Wilson says:

      Aww, thanks Emma. We can’t wait for you to meet this little one, either. Soon you can e-meet him or her. Yay!

  4. Barb P says:

    Sweet post! Merry Christmas to you and your family!

  5. Deborah says:

    That was one of the most beautiful letters I have EVER read that was to a child!! I have printed it out and I will read it to my two boys who are now 19 and 13 years old. I remember being pregnant and thinking, feeling and doing all of the things you mentioned in your letter. Congratulations to both you and your family.

    Have a beautiful Christmas and Happy New Year and I will be thinking of you when I re-read this again tonight!!!

    Blessings,

    Deborah Anderson

    • Alexandra Wilson says:

      Wow, Deborah–Thank you! I appreciate it. I hope your boys like it as well. Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope it is cheery and bright!

  6. Marilyn Collins says:

    What a lovely and loving letter. Wishing you and yours a Blessed and Merry Christmas. December babies are special. My older sister is a December baby as was my late mother. i have a lot of December birthdays in my extended family. God Bles s you and yours.
    Marilyn and family

    • Alexandra Wilson says:

      Thank you, Marilyn! I think December babies are special–but maybe I’m a little biased because I was one, too :). I also have many good friends and some family who are December birthdays. Perhaps the goodness comes from all of those winter snuggles as newborns!

  7. Deb Bosworth says:

    Dear Alex,

    Well, you did it to me again. First, with your letter Ava and now this one. Tears are rollin! My baby turns 18 in February. I’m gonna write a letter.
    You look absolutely radiant, even in your goofy picture! :)

    Many blessings to your sweet little family… Cannot wait to to meet Wilder # 2…Not that you asked or anything, but I think it’s a boy…:)

    Big hugs,
    Deb, ( Beach Farmgirl )

    • Alexandra Wilson says:

      Thanks, Deb! I have a slight inkling it’s a boy too…but I thought Ava was, too. We are excited to find out! I love the idea of writing letters to children–they are little time capsules of emotion, what could be more beautiful? And thank you for your compliments, always!

  8. Cindy says:

    Beautiful! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your new arrival! God Bless!

  9. Gail says:

    Well, I read this for a second time and cried again. What a beautiful letter and I love the photos. I’m so glad that “Sampa” Mickie is there. Please tell that Sampa to give lots of extra kisses to Ava’s little brother or sister. Love Sampa and Sampa Pederson

    • Alexandra Wilson says:

      Thank you, Sampa Gail! I think you are now officially “Gamma Gail.” We are grateful for gamma Mickie, too! Ava sure loves her grandparents. Love you!

  10. Pam DeMarrais says:

    I am so excited for you….it will be a very special holiday! You look great. All of your healthy farm girl living shows.
    Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year with your family. Can’t wait to hear the news of the birth!

    • Alexandra Wilson says:

      Thank you, Pam! You are right–this lifestyle is conducive to a healthy, more-comfortable-than-expected pregnancy. I’m feeling pretty good despite feeling huge! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, too!

  11. Joan says:

    It is the 23rd and I hope all is well!!!! Your post is simply ‘PRECIOUS’. God bless, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!!

  12. Jennifer says:

    The best Christmas present I received this year was finding a letter my mother wrote to me on Christmas Day, 37 years ago, while I was still in utero. She has been gone from this world almost a year now and this was written before the demons that plagued our lives had even come ’round. It has been immensely comforting to know, even for just the past couple days, that my parents loved me and wanted me absolutely. That the beginning of me was happy.

    I pray that your babies and you and your husband, too, know that about yourselves all the days of your lives.

  13. Susana says:

    Sorry I’m late reading this…. You should be a writer! You write so elegantly. Im hoping all goes well with your pregnancy and the little guy is not so restless. You might want to eat peanut butter and an apple with a glass of milk in the afternoon. It has a way of calming the baby at night inside you…as they get what their mommy eats. There’s plenty of magnesium and calcium in those, ehich helps restlessness i. You and the baby. Hope jt helps you. May your fsmily be blessedwhrn he comes….im pretty sure its a boy as your bearing down much….boys are restless too. Good luck with staying relaxed.Susana

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