We lost a member of the household today – the pet fish. Dealing with the loss of a pet is a rite of passage for a parent, unfortunately. It’s when your heart tugs at you, but you realize, “Yikes! I’m the adult here… I have to keep it together.” What do you do when your child’s heart is breaking?
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is a certified farmgirl at heart. She’s happily married to her beach bum Yankee husband of 20 years. She went from career gal to being a creative homeschooling mom for two of her biggest blessings and hasn’t looked back since. Debbie left her lifelong home in the high desert of Northern Nevada 10 years ago and washed up on the shore of America’s hometown, Plymouth, MA, where she and her family are now firmly planted. They spend part of each summer in a tiny, off–grid beach cottage named “The Sea Horse.”
“I found a piece of my farmgirl heart when I discovered MaryJanesFarm. Suddenly, everything I loved just made more sense! I enjoy unwinding at the beach, writing, gardening, and turning yard-sale furniture into ‘Painted Ladies’ I’m passionate about living a creative life and encouraging others to ‘make each day their masterpiece.’”
is a “MaryJane Farmgirl” who lives in a large metropolitan area. She is a lawyer who has worked in both criminal defense and prosecution. She has been a judge, a business woman and a stay-at-home mom. In addition to her law degree, she has a Masters of Theological Studies.
“Mustering up the courage to do the things you dream about,” she says, “is the essence of being a MaryJane Farmgirl.” Learning to live more organically and closer to nature is Rebekah’s current pursuit. She finds strength and encouragement through MaryJane’s writings, life, and products. And MaryJane’s Farmgirl Connection provides her a wealth of knowledge from true-blue farmgirls.
an old-fashioned farmgirl with a pioneer spirit, lives in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. As a “lifelong learner” in the “Live-Free-or-Die” state, she fiercely values self-reliance, independence, freedom, and fresh mountain air. Married to her childhood sweetheart of 40+ years (a few of them “uphill climbs”), she’s had plenty of time to reinvent herself. From museum curator, restaurant owner, homeschool mom/conference speaker, to post-and-beam house builder and entrepreneur, she’s also a multi-media artist, with an obsession for off-grid living and alternative housing. Cathi owns and operates a 32-room mountain lodge. Her specialty has evolved to include “hermit hospitality” at her rustic cabin in the mountains, where she offers weekend workshops of special interest to women.
“Mountains speak to my soul, and farming is an important part of my heritage. I want to pass on my love of these things to others through my writing. Living in the mountains has its own particular challenges, but I delight in turning them into opportunities from which we can all learn and grow.”
Dori Troutman is the daughter of second generation cattle ranchers in New Mexico. She grew up working and playing on the ranch that her grandparents homesteaded in 1928. That ranch, with the old adobe home, is still in the family today. Dori and her husband always yearned for a ranch of their own. That dream came true when they retired to the beautiful green rolling hills of Tennessee. Truly a cattleman’s paradise!
Dori loves all things farmgirl and actually has known no other life but that. She loves to cook, craft, garden, and help with any and all things on their cattle farm.
describes herself as a goat charmer, chicken whisperer, bee maven, and farmers’ market baker renovating an 1864 farmhouse on an Ohio farm. With a degree in Design, Mary says small-town auctions and country road barn sales "always make my heart skip a beat thinking about what I could create or design out of what I’ve seen.”
Rooted in the countryside, she likes simple things and old ways … gardening, preserving the harvest, cooking, baking, and all things home. While you might find her selling baked goods from the farm’s milkhouse, teaching herself to play the fiddle, or sprucing up a vintage camper named Maizy, you will always find her in an apron!
Mary says, “I’m happiest with the simple country pleasures … an old farmhouse, too many animals, a crackling fire, books to read, and the sound of laughter … these make life just perfect.”
is a budding rural farmgirl living in Palmer, the agricultural seat of Alaska. Alex is a graduate student at Alaska Pacific University pursuing an M.S. in Outdoor and Environmental Education. She lives and works on the university’s 700 acre environmental education center, Spring Creek Farm. When Alex has time outside of school, she loves to rock climb, repurpose found objects, cross-country ski on the hay fields, travel, practice yoga, and cook with new-fangled ingredients.
Alex grew up near the Twin Cities and went to college in Madison, Wisconsin—both places where perfectly painted barns and rolling green farmland are just a short drive away. After college, she taught at a rural middle school in South Korea where she biked past verdant rice paddies and old women selling home-grown produce from sidewalk stoops. She was introduced to MaryJanesFarm after returning, and found in it what she’d been searching for—a group of incredible women living their lives in ways that benefit their families, their communities, and the greater environment. What an amazing group of farmgirls to be a part of!
Suburban Farmgirl Nicole Christensen calls herself a “vintage enthusiast”. Born and raised in Texas, she has lived most of her life in the picturesque New England suburbs of Connecticut, just a stone’s throw from New York State. An Advanced Master Gardener, she has gardened since childhood, in several states and across numerous planting zones. In addition, she teaches knitting classes, loves to preserve, and raises backyard chickens.
Married over thirty years to her Danish-born sweetheart, Nicole has worked in various fields, been a world-traveler, an entrepreneur and a homemaker, but considers being mom to her now-adult daughter her greatest accomplishment. Loving all things creative, Nicole considers her life’s motto to be “Bloom where you are planted”.
Hi Nicole,
This is a (bitter)sweet story. We can relate…Our first pet passing was a beta fish too, but the kids were very small then and not too attatched… The hard blow came later on with the passing of their first guinea pig, Pedro (named after Pedro Martinez when he was with the Red Sox).
he was the alpha of our four guinea pigs and, our sons favorite. There were many tears when he left us and we too had a " funeral " in our back yard for him. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck with " Pumpkin ". Cute!
Deb, your Beach Blogging sister!
Deb, It’s so hard not to get attached to your pets, no matter how small, right? I love the name of your guinea pig. We have a neighbor around the corner who has an elderly dog named Jeter, after Derek Jeter. When he was young, he used to always come visit us. Now that he’s older, he doesn’t come around anymore. Keep your fingers crossed for us with the new fish! Thanks for commenting! -Nicole
How sweet. I am sure that you remember the quote, "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I am so pleased that you allow your daughter to love a pet, then to be there to soften the blow when that pet dies. You taught her how to love and care for the pets in her life. She even knows how to say goodbye in her own appropriate way. No ceramic sea funeral for this baby fish. So, I am commending you for being a loving and thoughtful mother of a child with pets. God bless you.
Wow, Louise Marie, thank you so much for such a wonderful compliment! It means so much. -Nicole
This brings back memories! I have four children, ages 22 on down to 15. My 18 year old has always been a particularly sensitive child (as well as so strong-willed, her nick-name was Taz when she was a toddler). She is a gifted artist, and was mystical from the time she could talk. When she was about four she was so distressed over a dying bug in the garage that I ended up making it disappear and then buried it (she said, "a man with wings reached down and took it to heaven!) Right now we have several frozen fish in baggies that were waiting for a spring burial and need to get rounded up and buried before the snow falls again! No flushing here either! The best and worst of times was when I was grandma to two hamsters in succession, Nadia and Cinnamon. They only live about two years and the depth of grief at our house(yes, I cried too) was so much that we decided not to get any more pets that have such short life-spans and are prone to many illnesses(why they have been used as lab animals in the past). Still, our lives have been enriched by pets–furry and finned alike. I am proud that the two youngest, still at home, insist on going to the vets whenever a pet has to be euthanized and give TLC to them as they quietly pass. Death is a part of life and my children have learned to celebrate life even in sorrow.
So sorry to hear about the fish. Understand fish funerals, and mice funerals (had many of those) and dogs, and kitties. Our last little dog had to be put to sleep on September 19th. Only 4 1/2. Enlarged heart. So sad! We did doggie day care for the rescue person that we had gotten our other dog from the following week-end. We made a decision to keep this one. Too hard not having one. This one is 6 but our vet says she is healthy. May we have her much longer than 4 years in our care. May your next fish last much longer. Our daughter has had one for years. It even jumped from the bowl at least once but survived. Even in a house with cats.
Thank you, Joann. May you have your pup a long, long time! -Nicole
You daughter is a child after my own heart…I have always been one to care deeply about animals in any form. Heck, I even take spiders that I find in the house outside!
I think that teaching your child to be a warm and caring person is simply wonderful. I can imagine that she (and you!) treat people in the same manner. We need more kind and compassionate people on this earth…
Greetings to beautiful Pumpkin!
Janice, thank you. Yes, my daughter is a really sweet, sensitive little girl, and my best friend. I’m a lucky mom! She really likes your comment. Thanks so much for reading. -Nicole
What a great memorial set up for a beloved part of your family! That’s the difference with some people, viewing pets as material possessions which can be given away or tossed in the trash as opposed to including them as part of the family.
We’ve always included them as part of ours (for better or worse!!). Pets have a way of teaching us so much and are always such a blessing!! Here’s to a long beta life for Pumpkin!!
Now we know who the sensible one is here. Great post!