Mary Murray
describes herself as a goat charmer, chicken whisperer, bee maven, and farmers’ market baker renovating an 1864 farmhouse on an Ohio farm. With a degree in Design, Mary says small-town auctions and country road barn sales "always make my heart skip a beat thinking about what I could create or design out of what I’ve seen.”
Rooted in the countryside, she likes simple things and old ways … gardening, preserving the harvest, cooking, baking, and all things home. While you might find her selling baked goods from the farm’s milkhouse, teaching herself to play the fiddle, or sprucing up a vintage camper named Maizy, you will always find her in an apron!
Mary says, “I’m happiest with the simple country pleasures … an old farmhouse, too many animals, a crackling fire, books to read, and the sound of laughter … these make life just perfect.”
Column contents © Mary Murray. All rights reserved.
Farmgirl
is a condition
of the heart.
Alexandra Wilson
is a budding rural farmgirl living in Palmer, the agricultural seat of Alaska. Alex is a graduate student at Alaska Pacific University pursuing an M.S. in Outdoor and Environmental Education. She lives and works on the university’s 700 acre environmental education center, Spring Creek Farm. When Alex has time outside of school, she loves to rock climb, repurpose found objects, cross-country ski on the hay fields, travel, practice yoga, and cook with new-fangled ingredients.
Alex grew up near the Twin Cities and went to college in Madison, Wisconsin—both places where perfectly painted barns and rolling green farmland are just a short drive away. After college, she taught at a rural middle school in South Korea where she biked past verdant rice paddies and old women selling home-grown produce from sidewalk stoops. She was introduced to MaryJanesFarm after returning, and found in it what she’d been searching for—a group of incredible women living their lives in ways that benefit their families, their communities, and the greater environment. What an amazing group of farmgirls to be a part of!
Column contents © Alexandra Wilson. All rights reserved.
Libbie Zenger
Previous Rural Farmgirl,
June 2010 – Jan 2012
Libbie’s a small town farmgirl who lives in the high-desert Sevier Valley of Central Utah on a 140-year-old farm with her husband and two darling little farmboys—as well as 30 ewes; 60 new little lambs; a handful of rams; a lovely milk cow, Evelynn; an old horse, Doc; two dogs; a bunch o’ chickens; and two kitties.
René Groom
Previous Rural Farmgirl,
April 2009 – May 2010
René lives in Washington state’s wine country. She grew up in the dry-land wheat fields of E. Washington, where learning to drive the family truck and tractors, and “snipe hunting,” were rites of passage. She has dirt under her nails and in her veins. In true farmgirl fashion, there is no place on Earth she would rather be than on the farm.
Good morning Deb.
I was a working mom, and I would have given anything to be JUST a stay at home mom. I feel these woman are the luckiest, because they get to choose what they do. Must of us don’t even get that choice. SO when someone says to me they are JUST a stay at home mom I always tell them you are the lucky ones. Keep up the good work. All of you moms.
Bless you Renee… It’s so true…I know all to well the guilt that plagues many working women with children as I was one of those mom’s too for a time… Let’s face it…Being a mom is no slam dunk no matter where we sit! Thank you for reading and for your kind words… xo Deb
During the 70s, we had a button that said "Every woman is a working woman." It’s true. When people asked what I did, I said I worked at home. A SAHM is a hyphenated position because there is always more to include like raising an outstanding child, creating healthy meals for your family, educating your child, washing, ironing, cleaning, budgeting…you get the idea. If you were to hire a personal assistant who was as qualified as a SAHM or homemaker, s/he would be worth much more than your typical professional athlete or career politician. And look at the difference a preposition makes: Rock on, farmgirl!
"I work at home" and "I work from home" are both meaningful occupations.
LOVE IT!!! Thanks so much for weighing in! xo Deb
I love this post and the lighthouses! The entire time I was raising my children, I would call myself a homemaker. Now, I help my husband run our company from our home and this makes me a Managing Member / Homemaker It’s funny, when I fill out those forms that ask what I do for a living, I still long to write homemaker. It is a badge of honor . Many homemakers must also work outside the home, and I am in awe of what they are able to accomplish as well. Daily, I thank God for women who delight in being keepers of the home, whether it is full or part time — it is so important and needed! ~Blessings upon the keepers of the home!
Thank you Becky! So true.. seasons come and go… best we take each one as it comes and embrace it. Blessings back atch a!
Right On girl! I was lucky to be a stay at home mom. In the 60s when I was raising our children the word "just" was used then also. I am sure the label was put there by men who wanted to keep their women out of their business. But my husband didn’t feel that way. Our 50 year marriage attests to that. I’m still a homemaker and I don’t regret it one minute.
You are lucky! Congrats on the big 50!! Thanks for sharing and for reading! xo Deb
I agree with Renee – I would have loved to be "just a SAHM" when I was at that stage of my life. But sometimes life doesn’t give us that opportunity. I reared my children with the very best that I had as all loving mothers wiil do. I honor and always have those moms who "keep the homefires burning" – my mom was one & she is still "momming" at 82! Now, as a retired professional I get to be a "full-time homemaker" & I am loving it!!!
See? We all have to do the best with what we’ve got at the time and that especially includes mothering! Job well done! Thank you for reading as always!
xo Deb
I say this proudly…I JUST became a stay at home mom!!! Three weeks ago! And what a job this is!!! My husband is my biggest fan. Every morning he gives me a kiss and calls me "super mom" and tells me that I’m doing a great job. Unfortunately in three months, I will have to return to the working world (part time, however) to help our family pay off all of the school loan debt I acquired in my pursuit to become a physical therapist. The first week that I was home from work, one week pre-baby, was a hard one for me as I’ve spent the last 8 years building my career. But there is no place I’d rather be than home with my little man. Thanks for the your lovely post and for planting the seed in me to NEVER say I’m JUST a SAHM.
Congratulations Jodie! I too mourned my job in the beginning, but life with little one’s soon took over and I never looked back…I’m so happy for you and your family! Thank you for reading…xo Deb
My girls are grown and I was once a low speaking woman who when asked what do I do for a living answered, I am a housewife and stay at home with my girls…Now I would shout it from the roof tops! It is the most important thing a woman can do! I would not do anything different today except to sing with joy for the chance to do that most important thing.
I lived through the sixties and the seventies…the bra burning days…yes we have come a long way but have we really? Yes we just need to realize it..I wish more women would stay at home and take pride in raising their offspring…
Staying home isn’t something all women can do or choose to do. After all, we need great women in the workforce sharing their talents and inspiring others too! I just want moms who choose to stay home to realize it’s something to feel good and confident about! Thanks so much for your note! xo Deb
I LOVE saying, "I’m JUST a mom." I spent so much of my life defined as my job, especially since I started my career at such a young age (10 years old). And even when I retired at age 30 and started a complete different (and relatively successful career), my identity was still tied to my profession. People saw me in terms of what I did for a living. It felt like false admiration.
Being a mother is different. In this case, my family is a part of my personhood. I’m very proud to that. When I say "I’m just a mom," people still try to find out other information–what was I before?
But I hold fast. My identity is not where I come from or what I did for a living, my talents, or my job titles. My identity is wrapped up in the love I create around me in my family.
That is who I am.
I am just a mom.
Dear Janine,
The way YOU say, ‘ I’m JUST a mom " is perfect…! Thank you!!!
xo Deb
Right on Deb! I have been caring for folks and their homes for at least 25 years. Twenty years ago I would say, ‘I’m JUST a housekeeper’. Now I say, ‘ I am SELF EMPLOYED and run a custom home care/pet sitting business!’. It has occurred to me that I was able to support myself with a job that allowed me to chose who I worked for and where I worked. I haven’t been without work EVER…
My own mother was a SAHM until I went to jr high and my dad was always able to be at home with us. And that, my dear, is why we had a loving and close family..
Hi Jan! Good for you for raising the bar for for yourself! That’s how ya do it ‘farmgirl style’! Thanks for your note, as always…xo Deb
I was proud of being a "stay at home mom" when my children were small, and in the growing years of their life. I know it kept us from having enough money for some things that would have been nice to have, but I so enjoyed being with my little ones and teaching them things,etc. Never will regret that.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Love reading your blog!
Thank you for reading Mary! Glad you stopped by to share here!
xo Deb
Thank you, Deb, for bringing this important issue to the light. I have never felt ‘career-minded’ like we were brought up to be. I find the most important ‘career’ I have is to be there for my kids. I am by no means a ‘superMom’ but my kids love and respect me and like having me around. I do work part-time as a bookkeeper but always feel the unspoken ‘just a bookkeeper’ when asked ‘what I DO’. The ‘what I do’ thing has always seemed more important than ‘who I am’. And ‘who I am’ is very complex and deep and cannot be defined by my ‘occupation’. I know this but always hate when in a social situation the question comes (and it ALWAYS does !!!) so..’What do you do?’
Thanks for reminding me that what I do and who I am is valuable and it is I that need to feel that and appreciate it, so my answer can feel good, no matter what it is.
Dear Laura,
So well said… Mothers simply can’t fit all that we are and do on one card! LOL! Thank you for reading Laura! xo Deb
I wanted to clarify something from my previous statement above. I didn’t realize at the time it sounded derogatory towards working women. I was trying to make a point to those who choose to be stay at home moms. That they should not feel like their job is not an important one. I have been fortunate enough to have had both choices, stay at home mom and then to work at very fulfilling jobs. Thanks
Thank you Dolly! I knew what you meant!!! 🙂
Woohoo! I 100% agree with you Deb. Being a homemaker i serious business, and it takes time and effort that most people never realize, unless they do it. 🙂
Hi Sarah! So true! Thanks so much for reading and your note!
xo Deb
Ditto on the lovely notes sent by all our farmgirl sisters. Loved being home with my 3 children, loved working part time as they grew, loved working full time for 20 years since then AND now i’m trying to love being home again (laid off for over a year). Home is never boring or dull – I’ve been busy being handyman/woman, writer, property manager, crafter, seamstress, knitter, farmer and teacher. A few of these titles even paid a little stipend. And how lucky am I to now have time to join a book club, a local organic gardening club and the American Sewing Guild’s local chapter, SewFriends. I’m businer than ever!
Hi Joan Marie!, " Home is never boring or dull"… so true… sounds like you’re one busy farmgirl! Thank so much for reading and your note too! xo Deb
I like to say, ” I am an investment broker…. I am investing in my family and broker because of it:)