Facing Facebook

A friend sent me an email the other day, “I’d be embarrassed to be you. You only have 87 friends! LOL”
LOL? I’m not L-ing OL. That’s all I need. One more thing to be self-concious about. It’s a good thing she informed me because I had no idea I was hurting on Facebook. 87 friends sounded like a lot to me. But no. My bubble is burst!

It is in that spirit that I beg you to be my Facebook friend. Won’t you “friend” me? Here I am:
I didn’t “get” Facebook for a long time. But now I do. And I LIKE it! I enjoy reading every body else’s posts and “liking” or commenting. I’m going to start doing better in posting things myself. I’ve just not been very Facebook-savvy.
What about you? Are you a Face-booker? How do you use Facebook? What kinds of things do you talk about? What kinds of things do you enjoy reading about?
Something I like about Facebook is that we are not anonymous to each other. I see your picture and your name. You see mine. It is unlike other interactions online, where we are just a “username” to each other. With Facebook, we get to know each other. We see a glimpse of each other’s lives.
The other day I mentioned that I was going to “do Facebook better” to an acquaintance. She urged me not to. “Facebook is evil,” she said. With a straight face. “Evil?” I had to laugh. “No! Don’t laugh! Facebook is repsonsible for ripping apart marriages. People go on there and find old lovers and the next thing you know, they’re leaving their marriages.” And then she told me a story about a guy she went to high school with who that had recently happened to, “…just like that, his wife up and left him because of Facebook.”
Facebook is responsible? You didn’t just say that, did you?” I was still laughing. Sorry. This is yet another one of my soapboxes: when are we going to make people accept responsibility for their actions? Facebook is not the problem.
When I mentioned Facebook to another friend, she asked me if I had heard about the studies that show that Facebook makes people depressed. So I looked that up. Yes, indeed, several studies have shown that when all we see is the upside of everyone else’s life, as we do on Facebook, we have a tendency to think their lives are better than ours (where we see and feel both the ups and downs).
[Here are a couple of different articles:
I don’t know. I think I’m okay with that. Maybe the thing might be to just pay attention and see how you feel when you’re on Facebook. Do you feel good? Or, do you feel crummy? Take an inventory with that, just like we do with everything else. If it feels crummy, quit doing it.
If it weren’t for Facebook, I wouldn’t have known about this video, posted by one of my 87 friends…
Watching that, well, I don’t feel crummy.
Another friend posted this picture. I mean, this is funny! Doesn’t make me feel crummy at all. The moose with beer bottles…makes me laugh.

And seeing this doesn’t make me feel crummy either. One of my 87 friends on Facebook, Ginny, posted a picture of the most beautiful horse I have ever seen in my life.
Now, you might remember that I am not much of a horse person. They scare the daylights out of me. But, Y’all. I saw this horse and my heart did a flip. It’s called a Gypsy Vanner. Holy Smokes. Swoon. May I please have him?

What do you think?!?!
Here’s a few more pictures of this amazing breed.

Funny that the horse theme is coming at me from all directions. When I turned on my computer today and see the Yahoo article about an urban cowboy in Atlanta. Here’s the article and the picture that went along with it.

I pictured ME, on a Gypsy Vanner, riding along beside traffic.
Which led me to look up how much they cost.
Now, I have never, ever shopped for a horse before, so I don’t know how much one costs. But these guys are so expensive that I realized that I’d probably never have one. The least expensive trained one I saw was $18,000. Is that a lot for a horse?
I might be riding a goat down the roads of Atlanta instead. I’ve seen them listed in Craigslist for $25. Yes, I see it now, “Urban GoatGirl gets to work riding her goat through Atlanta traffic.”
I’ll make sure to keep you posted on Facebook!
Many of you have asked about the Sweet Dreams Kenyan Orphans Project.
Guess what? We have exceeded our goal by a long shot! Thank you to everyone who made this project soar! Your generosity humbles me.
Don’t forget to leave a comment about what YOU think of Facebook!
Until next time, Friends, savor the flavor of life!
Lots of love, The City Farmgirl/Goatgirl, Rebekah

  1. Zan says:

    Hey Rebekah! Actually, I saw this post FROM Facebook, so that might tell you something. I actually really like Facebook, have done most of my networking, and sold a heck of a lot of art through there.

    I can see how some people think it’s not a good place though, I have seen equal parts drama and nice things there. But, again, people will create whatever scenarios through commenting, as they wish.

    On a side note, I’ve seen Vanners, I’ve wanted one on the horse tour and YES, they are prohibitively expensive–some are $30,000! This is because the breed is usually imported from England or Ireland, where they have been bred and used by modern day Travellers. Since most horses, in this economy, can be gotten even for FREE–its an awful lot of money. However, they ARE stunning!

  2. That is a gorgeous horse! I never knew there was such an animal.

    I Facebook, and I will gladly run over and friend you. Facebook is problematic for me. As an author, I should have a "page" where I do all my author stuff and talk about my books. But I already had my personal page, and people had been friending me through that, and it just seems too complicated to make a professional page and try to get all my writing and reading friends to join me over there. What would be the point, anyway? All my kids and real friends would just "like" my page, too. I’d have all the same people in both places.

    So I’ll keep my personal page and let everybody do with it what they will. Hope you friend me back! And any of your friends are welcome too. I’m at https://www.facebook.com/marlenedotterer

  3. kay says:

    Well, sweetie, I rather imagine you will be getting many
    FB friend requests….

    I like hearing about people that I haven’t seen for quite some time…cousins, work mates, friends far away and new friends. There are always going to be negative comments, I choose to let that go. I have learned much and laughed often.

    Thank you Rebekah for being one of my facebook friends.

  4. Brenda says:

    Hi Rebekah! What a beautiful horse! Love it. I went to friend you on facebook, but I do not get on it often. My daughters are all on so I like to see new pics of the grands when they show up. And leave birthday greeting, when I do not get cards out on time, which happen often to me. I had not seen the video you shared but when I was watching it, I saw that one of my son in laws had "liked it" so I also shared on my facebook, well maybe I did, never sure if I do things correctly or not. Have a great week!

  5. Jill says:

    Can I just say, you are my favorite blogger and this post is crackin me up! but on the downside I can see where people would get down being on FB. Im a huge FB’R, but I try to limit my time on it, its such a great way to socialize and keep up with hundreds of people in just 5 short minutes! i personally like the "small groups" that can be private. I get together weekly with 8 other ladies and we made a small FB group that way we can post personal things that only our Clique of 8 can see!

  6. Catherine says:

    I do have FB and enjoy being able keep up with friends and pages I’m interested in. Yes, there can be a down side, but honestly I just try to ignore the negative stuff and "keep it friendly" 😉 . I expect you will be very busy handling Friend requests for a while 🙂 .


  7. Julie says:

    After a year of getting MJF mag, I FINALLY remembered to hop online during my "free" time… your blog is the first thing I clicked on ’cause "Here’s the thing" is great! Anyway, this is a funny post… mostly because I LOVE all the seques 🙂 Off to fb friend you…

  8. Carol in NC says:

    My husband loves the colorful Gypsy Vanners and typical of draft horses they are very sweet and gentle.

    I’m pretty bad at FB but one of my new year’s resolutions is to post more. I love to read what my friends are up to and I’m glad when they post little tidbits here and there. I originally got on it to stalk my kids, lol, which they are well aware of and ok with as long as I "don’t comment something totally lame" which translates "don’t comment at all!"

  9. all8garden says:

    I like FB in that I can keep up with my extended family. The problem I have with FB is the gaming and whatnot. I’ve had to block posts from friends and Family because my whole feed would be full of their gaming. A woman from church just friended me and I had to block her posts because my whole news feed was full of pictures of Twilight (the movies) and other such things.

    Personally I prefer to have pictures of their families and little quips about what’s going on with them and theirs. I don’t post often on FB but I do check it. Sometimes it amazes me the private things that people post. I don’t know if they completely understand how that information will never be erased, ever.

    Good luck with FB. My guess is that you’ll have plenty of lovely ladies friending you and your circle of influence will expand just like ripples in a pond. Certainly a good thing.

  10. hobbit says:

    I’m a holdout…….I do not do facebook mainly because I blog and am also a self sustaining type person and I can only be in front of that computer for so long. I need to get things done. I have friends…not in the hundreds but, enough to keep me busy. So many people I know have been hurt by some "friends" that felt the need to "help" them by telling them what they are doing wrong in their everyday life I just don’t want to go there.Yes, I have missed some things that are beautiful to look at and I guess that’s a shame but then, I have people like you, who blog, to bring the best of the best to my attention. Thank you for doing both.

  11. Lisa H says:

    I, too, have Facebook and basically got started because the exchange daughters (students) my dh and I have hosted are on fb and that is one way I know I can keep in touch with them once they are back home again. Now I am friends with "kids" I went to high school and college with and that is fun too. I have family around the country and if there wasn’t fb I wouldn’t know what was happening with them.

    Overall I find fb to be a fun and convenient way to see what’s new. I have re-connected with people I haven’t heard from in a long time.

    I do have one thing in particular that drives me crazy though, and that is all the invitations to play the games. I do not have time, nor am I interested in playing farmville or any of the other games they have out there.

    I am happy to friend you and think you’ll probably be way more than 87 in no time.

  12. Cindy says:

    Ok I friended you. I should be embarrassed too I guess. I have less friends than you, I’m sure, I’ve never looked! I just started doing facebook more actively a couple of weeks ago. I’m with you on this wholeheartedly…like anything in life, it can be good or evil or depressing or fun. Couldn’t tv be viewed the same way? I mean, all of these soap opera stars having such fun. Or novels…reading about all that romance. I think life is what we make it. So is facebook.

    Cindy Bee

  13. Brisja says:

    Facebook allows me to keep in touch with my friends in the States in a quick and easy manner. We can share thoughts, photos of our kids and even recipes without having to write to each individual (a luxury none of us have time for at this point in our lives).

    That being said, I do know people who spend way too much time on fb. Use it wisely, and like any other technology, it can be a blessing.

  14. Raynita says:

    I do FB now and enjoy it. I ran from it for a long time. My friends would friend my daughter and I kept up with them through her. One day I came in and my daughter told me to sit down at the computer. She opened up *my* FB account she had set up for me and I already had 80+ friends, so, what’s a southern girl to do? I sat down immediately and told each one of them, "thank y’all!" and I honestly have enjoyed keeping up with girlfriends who live far away and cousins too. I refuse to be negative, I do more *liking* than posting, but when I do post I hope it is something that will make someone smile:) I am going to hop over and friend you now. I love your blogs………Raynita

  15. Vickie says:

    Why on earth do people feel the need to #1, have everyone in the world "like them", and #2, air their dirty laundry on Face Book for all the world to see? Why on earth should I care if Susie likes what I ate for dinner, or John disapproves of the last book I read?
    Sorry about the rant, I’m really a very nice person. It’s just this Face Book hysteria that rubs me the wrong way.

  16. Kim says:

    I love Facebook! I love reading everyone’s thoughts on music, politics, culture, life . . . What’s not to love? It’s just a means of social interaction with people. That’s never a bad thing in my book. Glad you’re enjoying it!

  17. Pamela says:

    I do not do facebook, and I wish people would realize that they do not have friends they can number because they count them online. They seem to be the people in the grocery store with headphones on who don’t say hello to any real humans next to them and then they go home and count their ‘friends’. I have had people post things for the world to see that they were ashamed to tell their real family members in person. If you want to connect with olld friends, write to them or call them. It’s alot more personable and real. I love the horse, and love beautiful pictures. That’s what I have your blog for, Rebekkah, and I love you dearly, but we are not really friends.

  18. Anna says:

    My neighbor has been breeding Gypsy Vanners! They are such beautiful horses!! 🙂

  19. Jamie says:

    I use facebook to keep up with what is going on with family and friends all over the country, to let them know what our family is up to and to get news information from sources I like. I limit myself to checking once a day though.

  20. Connie says:

    Hi Rebekah,

    I do have facebook also and enjoy friends’ posts etc. I seen this article there and had to come over and read your blog! I think that it’s how people use facebook. You can either have a positive experience or a negative one, and we are in control of that! So..if you like facebook, enjoy it! Have a wonderful day! 🙂


  21. Nancy says:

    Hi, yes I can be your "friend". Will I be rude to you?? Say not so nice things?? Post nasty pictures or words??? Answers no, never, nada… I like Facebook.. Like I enjoy tv. If something is posted & I don’t like it, I just delete it & move on. I have been able to connect with far away family members & long lost friends…They have help support me thru a very hard time in my life..and I could go on there and vent, without being judged because they all knew what was going on with me. So, yes,I like Facebook. but the comment from your "friend" wasn’t nice at all. With friends like that who needs enemies… 🙂

  22. Nan Roberts says:

    I love that horse. I think the one in the first pic is perfectly aware of how lovely he is, and is showing off.

    As for FB, I like it because I can keep in touch with my family spread across the U.S. and Canada, plus local friends, plus all the fun videos and pics and signs that people post that make me laugh.

    I don’t like FB because I use it and email as a substitute for friendships, or contact with people in person. Once I’ve read or skimmed all the current stuff, I’ll find myself going back over and over it all, looking for I don’t know what. So I’m learning to stop that and write, or to get up off the couch.

    Interesting that FB contributes to depression. That’s something I struggle with. But I never thought about how much better everybody else’s lives are, therefore I’m depressed. Huh.

    There are still mysteries in making FB work, though. I don’t get all the mechanics of it, like sometimes I can share a post (because there’s a share button) and sometimes I can’t. IT’s a mystery.

  23. Facebook has been a great boon to me, as I have always regretted losing contact with friends from days gone by. I have re-established contact with friends from every stage of my life, from childhood all the way up. There are over 300 members of my high school graduating class in an alumni group on Facebook. I have in my Friends List family members from all over the world, my cousins in the Philippines, the scattered members of my family all over the United States, and distant cousins in still other places.

    I am a public person, and I have been on the Internet since 1986, so any hope I might have had of privacy is long gone. I have learned to adjust to this lifestyle, although I certainly understand those who wish to maintain their privacy. As a performer and activist, it has been more useful for me to remain open.

    I am on Facebook, and several other social networking and forum sites every day, and every mobile device I own is loaded with the Facebook application (iPhone, laptop, Kindle Fire). My friends range the gamut from those who only know my public persona to my closest and most dearest, and I appreciate them all. Even the ones I don’t know well may become close friends, and even if they don’t they give me insight into what life is like for other people, something which I think is invaluable.

  24. Shery says:

    Hi Rebekah,

    I’ve tried to ‘do’ Facebook and other social networking ‘shtuff’, but I just can’t get motivated to do much. I spend a goodly amount of time on this glorified toaster anyway. That is what I call my computer to keep it humble. I don’t text on my cell phone and I don’t want to learn. I’m a gadget grinch for the most part. I do like convenience…to a point. I will say this though: I’ve reconnected with a few long lost friends – one that I had no hope of ever being able to contact again. I’d tried for many years to find her. So, I applaud Facebook for that. It was great to hear her voice on the other end of the phone – you know, the kind attached to the wall that allows you to actually talk to people ;o)

    About the Gypsy Vanners…Beeeeautiful, as long as you aren’t the one whose job it is to keep all that hair tangle and weed free. Eeeek, my Morgan mare’s mane is bad enough.

    My favorite places to meet others with similar interests online are the MJF blogs. Love your lovely way with words…seasoned with just the right amount of salt. I also really enjoy Pinterest. Very relaxing (for me), creatively inspiring, quiet fun all by my little ole self.

  25. Cindy says:

    Facebook like anything else we do is a choice. I enjoy seeing the posts from friends and family but am challenged at this time…meaning I just have not invested the time or energy into learning how to use the full scope of FB. It is a great way to keep up with my adult children and see the pictures of my grandson but I also agree that at times, we are a tad too open about our plans, our feelings and personal information. Love that horse!

  26. Kimberly White says:

    I have enjoyed re-establishing connections with people from my past. When I was in school, I was quite shy. I had gone from public school to parochial school in 7th grade. It was hard to enter into the already established cliques. I moved away from my hometown a couple of years after high school. I grew and really got to know who I was as a person. It was hard raising a family without close friends to share the experience with. Now, because of FaceBook, I have re-connected with many old friends, and have gotten to know some classmates that I really never knew well in school. It’s also been far easier to keep in touch and share my life with family members that are now scattered across the country. FaceBook has helped make my world smaller and bigger at the same time, and much funner and better.

  27. I really enjoyed reading your post today. There was a lot to think about. I think Facebook is neutral,…really and truly. I LOVE Facebook because I’ve been able to reconnect with old friends from school and from when I lived overseas. So it’s been a real blessing. I’ve met other Christian bloggers and bloggers who share my love for all things Mary Jane’s Farm that way, too…so I have to say that has been a very good thing for me.
    I try and treat how I interact on FAcebook like I interact with people in real life. I NEVER use my Facebook page to say mean things about other people..because I just wouldn’t be that way in real life either. Facebook is great…but when it starts to get in the way of the relationships with the people that you actually see on a daily basis, then it might be time to rethink things.
    I haven’t heard of Facebook being the root of any problems with my friends..but I have one really sweet friend, a young married mother, who’s husband would spend hours playing video games when he came home and no time with his family. That made me sad…and I imagine that Facebook might do the same thing for some people.
    However, again, I think Facebook is really cool. I can learn new things. I’ve learned a lot about hometseading, DIY, organic eating, real food, crafts etc via pages that I "like" on Facebook. I’ve received help and prayer when my family recently experienced a medical emergency…so Facebook is what you make it. If you allow it to control your life, than you’ll have to deal with the consequences of that. Facebook in moderation is really, really cool 🙂 🙂 Thanks for writing such a thoughtful post!!! Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather 🙂

  28. Lisa says:

    I was drug into FB only in guilt to a vendor. What I have gained is my little ol’ high school class- people I’ve not been able to see in 30 years- this has been nice.
    I don’t however promote wasting time with this. Its a waster, but so nice to see all these people, their children, interests, etc.

  29. carol branum says:

    Hi Becca,I haven,t decided if I even like facebook or not.I did at first,and then high scool friends wanted me to play games and I just do not have time for that sort of thing,I am extremely busy,but,today a young girl about age 21 came into the salon for me to cut her little boys hair,and she just went on and on about why wasn,t I on facebook with the salon,and then the clothing line,and so,My answer was bluntly,because I am old and tired,lol,anyway,it turned out to be a good day because I felt honored that she asked me about my sewing,so I ended up showing her how to use a ruffler and a rolled heam foot on my sewing machine,she then told me how many onesies she had sold on her facebook site,and I never had sold anything on one,so I felt bad and old then for sure!So…I am hoping she will return the favor and help me with the computer stuff I need,if I help her learn to sew,I hope.I am just not real computer savy,and have had trouble with getting photos on my blogsite for a while now.I need to just hire her or another teenager to help me!Its just hard to get everything done I want to do.blessed be,carol branum,lamar mo.

  30. Debbie says:

    Here’s the thing…
    YES to facebook, YES to blogging and ABOUT A GAZILLION YES’S TO THE GYPSY VANNER THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HORSE IN THE WORLD…. Hey,I have an idea.. let’s split one!!!
    I tried to picture you riding a goat down the streets of Atlanta, and I just couldn’t see it!!! LOL!
    Hugs, your bloggin sis from the BEACH!

  31. kathy schild says:

    Time – we only have so much. Serving others – what really fills us up. So many ways to serve, so little time to do it. I want to teach my children by example how to serve one another, and I do not believe I can do that if I am on facebook for hours reading through a lot of self important trivia. I don’t want to see them doing that as they grow into teenage years. I want their minds, hearts, and hands in the real world, with real, breathing people to love.
    "You think this computer is your friend, but it’s not" – You’ve Got Mail.

  32. SherriBerri says:

    I love FB, I defer to something i heard recently….compare and despair. If you compare yourself to others yes you might have despair, instead be happy for them and the good things in their lives. Its been an uplifting experience for me connecting with old friends, keeping in touch with them when they live so far away. Its all about attitude, yours, mine,,,,people will be people. Facebook is not to blame.

  33. jean says:

    It’s better to have a few GOOD friend, than a lot of BAD ones. WOW!! are those horses gorgeous or what?!!

  34. Heather says:

    I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. I love seeing how all my cousins are doing and the pictures of all the beautiful places my friends & family visit. I dislike anything that draws me to spend more time in front of my computer & less time outside enjoying life, or sipping tea with a good friend actually making eye contact. Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with all my far-flung friends, but I’m craving something more. I’d love to be part of a snail-mail revival! I am part of the generation who grew up with computers, so I can count the number of handwritten letters I’ve received on one hand. How much more I would appreciate connecting with my friends if I had to wait & anticipate their news instead of receiving instant gratification…
    Ok, off my soap box now ;). Thanks Rebekah!

  35. Ellen says:

    I like Facebook for when broadcasting is appropriate, e.g., "We’re going to have a baby!" and you want everyone to know. But there’s an awful lot of material coming across my Facebook screen in the form of "Friends"’ rants about this or that, and it’s a lot to wade through. Plus, I don’t like communicating exclusively by Facebook. More of the time I’d like a personal e-mail (used to be, that was impersonal!) or, an actual phone call or letter. Sure it takes time, but having Facebook Friends doesn’t replace having real-life friends.

  36. monica ross-mclean says:

    Wow my horse is a cob cross trotter and i am looking on the net to see if i can find out more about him and i see the pic of the first gypsy vanner with the flash on his shoulder. My horse is almost identical but without the long leg feathers. I dont know how to post a pic on here as it would be good to show you x

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