Hello Farmgirls,
Ummm. I’m nearly at a loss of what to write. It all seems pretty trivial at the moment, but maybe a little triviality is part of what we need during these unprecedented times?
First off, how are you all? I truly believe the nation and world is in a collective stage of grief. Many of us have had our fair or unfair shares of grief in life, so it is a familiar feeling–only different in that everyone is experiencing it. There is so much uncertainty in where this is going and what the world will look like when it’s “over.” I’ve spoken about it with others experienced and studied in grief, we are grieving the loss of an imagined future. This is normal and okay. Sometimes it’s good to have a way to label our experiences and emotions. Please be kind to yourselves and loved ones while we navigate these murky waters. Cracking under the pressure is expected, crying at the most menial of occurrences is a healthy way that your body and psyche forces you to check in, ignoring it all is a natural coping mechanism. Acceptance that this is happening is the goal. It is where we can find our own integrity.
I have actually personally been very well and relatively stress free during this all. We have acknowledged our privilege–we have the company of our kids and my husband and I really like each other. We still have money coming in. We have plenty of land to recreate on. Alternative, frugal living is already a goal of ours. We eat “weird” things that are readily available at the grocery. Our lifestyle hasn’t changed that much aside from our often overly packed social schedule. I feel guilty saying it, but it’s kind of a relief. I find that I can deal with this “real” stress better than the stress associated with the daily grind and social expectations. My stress is now more deep seated, beyond the shallow stressors of timeliness and cleanliness. It extends beyond my own misguided ego–to those who are struggling financially, those who are living in dangerous or violent situations, those who cannot go outside, those dealing with deaths and sickness of loved ones whether they be covid related or not. It’s a lot to take in.
If any of you have gotten “screen time” time updates from your phones over the last couple of weeks, you might have been surprised/aghast/embarrassed at the uptick in time. I will not share my daily number of hours (FAR too embarrassing…) but I will share that my phone time has doubled in recent weeks (thankfully not exponentially week by week, we’ve seen too many exponential graphs lately).
With all of this extra screen ogling, if you are like me, you’ve seen the memes. They are topically funny–jabs at the economy, light-hearted parodies of well known ideas, manipulation of headlines, confused pets, those sorts of things. There are also the numerous song covers. The most revealing meme I saw was about the songs and rhymes that have always come out of times of war and plague. Think “Ring around the rosy…” It is one way that we make sense of tragedy and collective grief. We can’t take things too seriously all of the time.
I know some people are shielding their children from the reality of what is going on, and I accept that as your family’s way to navigate this weird part of history. As an educator, I’ve embraced the idea that any information can be delivered to any age and stage of development in an appropriate way. My kids know that there is a new coronavirus spreading and that it can be dangerous for some people to contract it. They know that “corona” is latin for crown and what the virus looks like. They know that viruses are veeerrryyyy small and the basics of how they spread and multiply. They also know that this is their time to embrace their special power of staying home and away from their friends and community gatherings.
It is hard, but important. There aren’t many times when our little kids can protect adults and grandparents! This is their time to be heroes. As in many times of trauma and uncertainty, there have been many games, songs and scenarios playing out among my girls regarding staying at home and the coronavirus. Navigating this new reality through play is something I’ve tried to embrace.
There’s also been this huge push to do all of things. Pleas from celebrities and “influencers” to embrace this special time of solitude. Encouragement to embark on all of the things we don’t have time for in “normal” life…All of the goals that have been superseded by the daily grind…Write the next great American (or Australian or Brazilian or whatever) novel, knit socks for entire villages, build all of your furniture using tongue and groove, hone in on your basket weaving, start your own farm, come up with the newest scientific laws.
This isn’t the time to pressure people to do anything. Doing is a way for many to cope, and that is great! Do away. Similarly, sitting and thinking and feeling is another way people cope. There are, of course, many other ways people cope, and I hope you are finding a non-destructive way to work through this time of physical distancing. To top it all off, while there are many people struggling with boredom and isolation, there are just as many overwhelmed people–those working from home with kids, those who must continue to work right now or risk losing their jobs. As in all things, the experiences are varied and complex.
With that said, please don’t feel like you should be doing these things or anything for that matter. I think having goals similar to goals after having a baby are sufficient: brush your teeth, eat something that is green, go outside if you can, stay hydrated, try to sleep, move your body at least once per hour when not sleeping. I fall in a few categories for coping, as I’m sure most of us do. We’ve taken on a few projects. I’ve also found potato chips in my bra and wondered what day it is while sporting a three-day old (maybe more?) messy bun. As a family, we have roamed our woods, admired moose, made delicious and nutritious meals, explored new learning topics and created some fun art and LEGO creations. We’ve had time together that will be cherished forever. We’ve also watched pretty much every Disney production from the last 70 years about 8 million times and eaten alarming amounts of sugary, processed treats while surrounded by a melting pot of toys/clothes/blankets/what is that?/dishes that is just too much to deal with right now. And then we frantically clean when the mood strikes. You do you.
Sooo, with that said, I want to share our accomplishments and goals for the coming weeks as a way that I’m coping with the current situation. One of my ways is to be prepared. And I don’t mean filling my crawl space with toilet paper (I’ll get to it)!
Starting Seeds
I was already planning on doing this, but it seems all the more pressing during this time of uncertainty. I’m planting as much as I can accommodate in hopes that I will end up with way too much and can share the excess with friends and neighbors. Luckily, we are lazy and haven’t been to the recycling center in months, so I have extra cans and containers to utilize when my limited starting trays and pots run out.
Building Stuff
Evan and I are similar in our work/laziness ethic. We like to keep busy just as much as we like to binge watch Tiger King (I told you I have embarassing confessions). We’ve started a few projects as the kids allow. He is working from home which is both great (more time with him overall!) and stressful (the kids are super excited that he’s home, and managing their eagerness to be with him has been difficult). I continue to work from home, although in a different capacity. I’ve found I’m getting less done even though I theoretically have more time. Perhaps my daily phone time has something to do with it? That plus the often ignored exhaustion of navigating new collective waters.
We have, however, started a home schooling desk area for the kids and are fabricating some shelves. I also have plans to build an inside climbing structure called a “Swedish Gym” for Fern’s birthday (she’s 2 on April 3!). The gym hasn’t been started, so it will have to be a belated gift. I made homemade stain for the desk and shelves with black tea, vinegar and steel wool (looks like walnut stain). I also made furniture polish for the wood using beeswax, olive oil, coconut oil and some essential oils.
Working with wood is meditative to me, and the resulting desks and shelves will provide us with some extra space for books and art that need homes.
Starting Sourdough
I’ve had a copy of Maryjane Butter’s “Wild Bread” for a couple years now and never done much more than admire all of the beautiful photos and the story of how Maryjane came to be part owner of a flour mill. With the recent yeast shortage and my family’s penchant for bread, I’ve embarked on starting my own sourdough starter! The only thing standing in my way now is a flour shortage…We will see how it all pans out. I’m only four days in now, but the little guy seems to be working great! Smells good and looks good for now. We are going to try it in some waffles this weekend.
You should definitely try to procure the book if you can. It is gorgeous and amazingly user friendly. Long story short–you mix water and flour and leave it on your counter for a month, “feeding” it twice a day and using part of the mixture once per week. It collects wild yeast from your environment. After four weeks–voila! you’ve made your own sourdough starter to make amazing, healthy, gluten intolerant (that’s me) friendly breads for years to come. Plus you can share the excess with friends and neighbors who can’t find baker’s yeast.
Family Cloth
I wish I was a more prolific seamstress like many of you are! I enjoy sewing, but I’ve never followed a pattern and I kind of make it up as I go. I can’t make something to size, so thankfully I haven’t been forced to clothe my family with my sewing skillz. We would just all wear moomoos :). I would have to outsource that to Evan, the real seamster in our house. I can, however, sew things into non uniform squares and such.
I have wanted to embark on a “Family Cloth” journey for years, especially after starting cloth diapering with babies. I haven’t for a few reasons–it’s considered weird and gross, I haven’t found the time to actually just do it, and toilet paper is affordable and convenient. Have you heard of family cloth? Basically–it’s forgoing toilet paper for reusable cloth wipes. They are especially useful if you have a bidet–we do not but we do have a diaper sprayer that I need to hook up, and it could probably work? But a bidet isn’t necessary. You just have two receptacles next to the potty–one for clean cloth and one for used. The clean cloth can just be in a basket, while the dirty can be in a lidded trashcan or a wet can if you prefer or a bag or whatever! Wash the cloths as you would cloth diapers–I just do them on hot and strip them when they start to retain stink in a sink or bath full of bleach or vinegar water. Laying or hanging them in the sun is a great treatment, too. There are plenty of other methods depending on your water and preferences, but this seems to work for us (for diapers at least).
The wipes can be as simple as tiny baby washcloths or strips of fleece, but I’m going to sew together strips with brushed cotton (the wiping side) on one side and cute cotton prints on the other. I have a bunch of scrap material from making costumes and other projects over the years so I don’t have to go out and buy anything. We will see how it is accepted by my feral children :). I will still keep the paper stuff and disposable wipes on hand for guests and us if we want to use them.
New Life
Soooo, this isn’t accessible to everyone or wanted by many, but…I’m pregnant! I’m due in July. We don’t know the sex and will wait until we meet the little one. I’m planning on a home birth already, so that is a relief. Baby Wilder #4! Thought you all might like some good news amongst the yuck. The pregnancy started out really rough, but I’ve been great since getting over the first trimester nausea and exhaustion. I’m starting to get into third trimester tiredness and find myself falling asleep at 8 or 9 every night with the kids. Life goes on even during a worldwide emergency. The juxtaposition of new life with sickness and death will always be a fascinating and fodder for deep thoughts. It keeps the melancholic poet in me going.
Whoa. Long post!
I titled this post “SIP” as an acronym for “Shelter in Place” as that is what we are doing in Alaska, and I know many of you are under the same orders. The idea of “sipping” is appealing to me. Sipping tea, of course, comes to mind. What is more grounding than pondering life while watching the steam swirl and warmth spread through your soul? But it is also a metaphor for this time (at least for me)–a time to take it slow and easy to sip away at our obligations and desires while spending a lot of time on ourselves and our relationships.
Again–how are you all faring during this strange time? Please reach out to me or anyone if you are struggling. There are people who want to help and be there for you, from a distance. We will get to hug our loves again some day.
Sending you peace, love and good health from Alaska,
Alex, the Rural Farmgirl
Hi Alex,
Good one ! I was enjoying the variety of your projects and ideas, and the grand finale. Did you bury the lead? Congrats on Wilder (feral?) child #4. I am duly impressed with your lifestyle and way of living.
Here in upstate New York, we are very quiet. Less traffic, businesses closed. It is almost reminiscent of my childhood when we used to be more rural here, and now more suburban. I am too enjoying the less pressured schedule, and taking a break. Where this will lead, does anyone know? I have brought some work home, so that is a first for me. Some good things can come from this period in our lives.
Take care of yourself and your family !!
Hi Laura–ha, I guess I did bury the lead :). I actually didn’t decide I was going to share that news until the end, and thought–what better time than now to share some good news? You take care, too!
Hi there….. I’m retired in PA. I enjoyed reading your post and all that you are doing to weather the SIP. As for me, I miss seeing my grandson. It feels like forever. I am fortunate in that one of my children lives with me and does the grocery/necessity runs. I’m occupying my time with crochet hooks and knitting needles; and, I’m about to venture into sewing some masks from flour sack towels. I’ll be planting a garden soon, something I think everyone should consider, no matter how small the space. Congratulations on the upcoming birth of #4. No medicine is as good as the giggles of children running through the house.
It does feel like forever! I hope you are getting some kind of interaction with your grandson. Let us know how the masks go! I’ve seen all of the calls for making them, but I’m pretty sure it would take me about six hours to make an ineffective one fit for either a baby or a giant :).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r2C1zGUHbU
These no-sew bandana masks are easy. Not as effective as real thing, but its’s something.
Thanks!
Happy Birthday Fernie! I can see why she loves the “moofe” he’s a cutie!
I really enjoyed this post – even though I talk to you all the time I like reading about your perspective and experiences.
Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Love , Mom
Thanks, Mom! love you.
Congratulations on the expectation of the newest Wilder! I love your posts and hearing about your teaching moments with your children. Your bread starter looks great, by the way. This is definitely a scary, uncertain time for us all and we need to practice kindness. Stay safe an may God bless you and your beautiful family.
Thank you, Rebecca. I’m excited about this sourdough starter. It’s like a little pet! Like you said–kindness is key. Sending peace and love your way.
Happy 2nd Birthday, Fern! I was just thinking when I read that Fern is almost 2 that Alex should have another baby! Isn’t that funny? Congratulations! It sounds like you are a great mother. I enjoy reading your blogs and can’t wait to hear if you are blessed with a baby girl or baby boy in July!
Thank you, Colleen! I assume it will be a girl, lol. We will see! I’m excited for a baby human :).
Wonderful News Alex,
So glad for your family to have a new addition to look forward to! Life is full of surprises, we never can guess what will happen next. Your family will have its own ray of sunshine this summer.
Thank you for sharing your life with us. Here in central IL our cows are calving in the mud, tractors and planters are being readied to plant and we too have SIP. This is the end of week 3 with schools closed until at least April 30th. Extra Grandchildren time an upside for me. Daddy farms with Grandpa and Mommy is an RN. It is a stressful time and yet as you said the extra no social obligations is kind of nice.
I pray for our world and the family’s who have lost family members due to this COVID 19. I wish you all good health.
Cindy
Thank you, Cindy (are you by any chance related to Stolls in Minnetonka, MN?). It is a time of magnified conflicted feelings, I’m happy to have the ability and time to reflect on it all. Take care!
It is very wonderful to get an update from a rural farmgirl! I snagged some meat bird chicks and a few turkey chicks 4 weeks ago, knowing we’d most likely be in this situation…my spirit has been warning me for years about something this huge coming upon the nations, due to studying history, and the Bible…me and my 3 homeschool girlies are pretty well adjusted to staying put, but my soul has been sad for everyone whose having a hard adjustment, we are adjusting to having Daddy home, who has been the sourdough master! While I focus on the hens and sprouting seeds! Keep up the good work, deep thought is a good thing to do, as we may all be off grid very soon as well! I will most likely jump onto family cloth as well, have wanted to do it forever, since I was cloth diapering and ECing them, but with unwilling family members it has certainly gone by the way side! I also share your sewing prowess;) I prefer hand sewing and cross stitch! I had determined to get into spinning wool into yarn for friends who knit and to eventually have my own flock of wooly creatures! For now I have fowl, haha! We are all looking forward to warm sun in Arizona, as we are in the mountains and feel as if it is Alaska weather most of the time, while the rest of the state enjoys normal weather, but the cloud cover as been atrocious lately! Keep on spinning your tales and your new babe, congrats, having a home birth is the ultimate in being mentally and physically prepared! I salute you fellow rural mama!!! SIP on! Xoxo
Thanks for the solidarity and encouraging words, Melly! It certainly is nice to be living an “alternative” lifestyle right now. I’m hoping I can help others transition if this goes on for a long time. We recently moved and I’m determined to get a flock established this summer. We have no place for them as it stands right now and still 2-3 feet of snow across our entire yard! Luckily some local chick breeders will still have chicks even while the lower 48 seems to be wiped out. Take care!
This is a beautiful post. You are the personification of the calm center of the storm. (I know it doesn’t always feel like that.) I’m a senior in a relatively safe situation and am grateful for that every day. Also that I don’t have small children! I think every parent who survives this deserves an award. It’s important that people cut themselves some slack. We will get through this.
Thank you, Lorrie–today was actually the first day that I had the “lonely but never alone” feeling creep in. It will pass. The kids have been a joy and a lot of work :). Some days my patience is very thin…like today. We will make a birthday cake and celebrate our blessings. It’s great to hear you are in a safe situation, as well. Sending you peace and love as we navigate this!
We, in rural America, I think, are a little more fortunate. I get out and feed the livestock. I do 2 to 3 miles of laps four to six days a week. And even though Yosemite Natl. Park is closed, I have an incredible view from here in the valley. And it is quiet from the rush of vehicles on the road. We, as elders, have what we need and are getting along fine….I am grateful. AND! We have heard more from the kids via phone, than we have in years!
Thank you, Diann! I think we are fortunate, too. And yes-we have been calling more family and far away friends than ever before!
As I was reading this, I was very aware of the different ways we all live. You know, it may seem strange to many, but we really have not had much of a change here, at least yet–I mean, yes, there is the “no bath tissue or paper towels or isopropyl alcohol” issue, but as to day-to-day life, not too much. The only thing we miss is our weekly lunch out at Red Lobster and the nice employees there who have become our friends. We are wondering how they are doing. We usually get our groceries when we go to lunch, and this whole process takes all day, since we do live ‘out in the sticks’–not far enough for me–never far enough! I guess it’s that–that wish and need to be apart from society that, luckily, both my husband and I share–that really comes to mind. We have been aware that we are “different” for years, and perhaps it’s what drew us to each other many years ago. By “different” I mean that we are kind of rustic, kind of throwbacks to a different era. We certainly appreciate the modern conveniences, and we enjoy good conversation with people we call friends, but, frankly, we hanker after a simpler life, and we have worked to create one. It’s nice. We have always had dogs, so they are a HUGE part of our lives, and they are superior to humans in many ways: they have their priorities all worked out! I have learned so much about life through dogs. In fact, we were just talking the other day about how nice it is for dogs all over the world right now, to be able to have their humans home. But, as usual, I am digressing into dog stuff, being dog-obsessed! Anyway, and I am aware I am rambling, but what the heck, this seems to be a place that welcomes that! One of the biggest things that helps us is that we are just NEVER BORED! As long as we have nature, or a book, or a dog, or a hobby–no problem. And I have so many hobbies that I’d need about twenty lifetimes to do them all. I swear to you I’m not trying to sound “preachy” but, we all need to just slow down and get outside! Nature is the biggest gift we have, especially for those of us who do live in the country with some acreage. Well, good health is the best and biggest gift if we have it, because w/out good health it’s hard to enjoy much of anything! And of course there’s always that fear of disease, etc., especially as we grow older. But we can’t just ‘wig out,’ can we? So go outside if you can, and, of course, take your dog with you! Prayers and good wishes to ya’ll from the mountains of Virginia, where the red bud trees are all abloom, and the dogwoods are just starting, the fruit trees with their drifts of white all over the mountains, the wild mustard in the fields–how lovely! Hey, and a new Mantis waiting for me to open its box and get to work on the garden!
Thanks for your input, Deni! Ramble on 🙂
Here in rural West Virginia, not much changed with the pandemic – everything but “essential services” closed, which means the library, historical society and thrift shop are closed…not much else as I live in a sparcely populated county with one traffic light! Well, beauty shops and barber shops closed (doesn’t affect me as I never go to one)…the dentist’s office is closed other than for dire emergencies…that sort of thing… schools are closed… life out here in the woods is just the same, however.
We were in the same boat a few weeks ago, but now we are in shelter in place. It seems to be working as we have the fewest number of confirmed cases in the country–although we have one of the smallest populations and a large portion of people are already socially distant. If it does take hold in some of the remote villages, they will be in trouble. The 1918 flu pandemic ravaged some villages here, so we are taking it super seriously as a state. Luckily, Alaskans as a whole are used to isolation and self-sufficiency :). We’ve had at home haircuts and manicures here this last week (which is funny because I’ve worn nail polish about five times since high school!). I do miss the library, though!
So much enjoy your blog! Thank you for snaring your life with us!
Thank you, Pamela
CONGRATULATIONS!
Thank you, Ida!
I love reading your posts, especially since I’ve got quite a few members in AK — Nikiski, where the fishing rights that were my uncle’s more than 60 years ago are still in the family! I’m grateful to be retired from teaching and staying connected through the blessing of social media. Grateful as well that I live in a small town surrounded by agriculture. Ground is still a bit cold but looking forward to planting out seeds, probably in a couple of weeks. And, it’s due to be 70 here Thursday (if forecasts are right…)! A bit warm for western Oregon, but we’ll take it. Prayers for a healthy pregnancy, a safe delivery (my uncle delivered all the kids born in AK) and healthy baby. And for all of you! Looking forward to keeping up with your exploits (love the the ferals and Happy Birthday, Fern!) Love, Beth
Thanks, Beth! Very cool to still have fishing rights in Nikiski handed down in the family. Hopefully spring will get here before this baby does :). Just got a bunch more snow today… Take care!
Glad every one is doing fine. We are staying in and ordering online. We are homebodies so this is a not a problem for us. Congratulations on baby #4. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless.
Marilyn
Thanks, Marilyn! It’s finally kind of nice to be an introvert :). Started to really miss my friends today, but the last three weeks were pretty nice to just stay home and enjoy life in the slow lane. Stay well!
I always enjoy your posts and love to see what new adventures the girls have found. I am interested in the sour dough bread as I am also gluten intolerant. Would you mind sharing what flour you used? Was it just one kind or a mix of different flours? Thanks for your help with this.
Hi Janet! I’m not horribly intolerant–gluten makes me tired and foggy and my skin gets really dry and flaky. The fermentation process helps neutralize some of the gluten or something? I’m not too sure why the sourdough process helps with slight intolerance. I’m using organic whole wheat flour because it’s all I could find. I wanted to use sprouted whole wheat or quinoa, but I only have one small bag of each and they have been sold out for the last month that I’ve checked out the store (I haven’t checked online, but may have luck there?). You can use ANY grain to make sourdough starter with, the only caveat is that you often have to add eggs to the bread dough when you’re ready to bake with gluten free varieties. MaryJane’s book has instructions for white rice, brown rice and quinoa flours–she claims the quinoa is the best! So, if you are celiac or very intolerant, then go for a wholly gluten free flour–but if you struggle mildly, like me, try to dabble in the wheat varieties!
Hope this helps! I even heard a story about this on NPR yesterday, so maybe there are more tutorials popping up online. Happy experimenting!
Thanks for the info. I do suffer too badly to try the wheat flour. I don’t have MaryJane’s book and did not realize flour other than wheat could be used for sourdough. I will research further and probably give quinoa a try, later when I can go shopping. Hopefully these uncertain times will pass soon. Hope your family stays safe and congratulations on the expected baby.
Thank you for SIP…I love reading about how others are coping.My husband,myself, and Max the dog are getting along well. I’m am bored at times. It’s nice to see what others are doing.Hope you have a blessed day. Thank you for caring…
Hi Alex! Just getting caught up on my farmgirl blogs and loved reading yours today.
Congratulations on baby # 4! What exciting news to have to share. I bet your girls are excited! Will keep you all in our thoughts! Staywell!
Deb