Small Things

Writing is therapeutic. It is for me, at least. Whenever I have been at my most confused, my most disoriented, my most misdirected–writing has helped clarify and organize my jumbled thoughts.  After the tragedy on Friday, I haven’t been able to write. I tried to write a poem… but I just don’t have the words. I’m still waiting, perhaps this blog post will help get them flowing.
I am devastated.
I am angered.
I am sickened.
I am fearful.
I am hopeful.
I am thankful.
Louise’s Farm School–Some of the best kiddos around!

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  1. Joan says:

    You share a very poignant message, from your heart and it made my heart jump. Teachers are so very important in our children’s lives – whether it be in a school setting or in life. I am going in to my grandsons school today to help decorate for their Christmas party tomorrow, just being with all those lovely beings makes one know that life is so precious and it is a joy to share it with them. Thanks for being a REAL TEACHER, God Bless and Merry Christmas.

  2. Jan says:

    Wonderful job, Alexandra. This piece flowed from your heart and we are privileged to have been able to share it.
    Thank you…

  3. Adrienne says:

    Thank you for sharing your feelings about the tragedy. I’m much older than you are and I remember the first time I heard about a victim of gunshots. We were told to go home from school on November 22, 1963, and be with our families because the President had been shot. It was the first time I saw a nun cry and there was complete silence on the streets of my neighborhood because everyone was home watching the TV. I was 15 and my brother was 9; my sister 4. We understood what happened but I don’t think my siblings really grasped the fact of death. We played with cap pistols and pretended we were cowboys or Zorro or Wyatt Earp. Pretend death was different: the President wouldn’t get up off the floor and appear on a different program tomorrow.

    I hope the survivors receive all the psychological help they need and the support of their neighbors and friends.

  4. Nicki says:

    It is a gift to be able to put to words what leaves so many of us speechless. I recently moved to a rural area in Washington state (Okanogan Highlands) – in part because I was tired of the stress and craziness of the city. One of the beauties of the internet is that we can discover others of like minds and hearts. We can share virtual hugs to comfort and, in turn, be comforted. Thank you for your words today.

  5. Debbie says:

    Dear Alex,
    Thank you for writing, even when you felt you couldn’t. Thank you for sharing a large part of who you are with us…You are a seed planter, a nurturer, a teacher. You understand the preciousness and value in children and in being a child. You are a blessing and those are some lucky kids in your top photo! Keep up the ‘good ‘ work… the world needs more like you working with kids!
    Love and farmgirl hugs from the beach farmgirl!

  6. Cassie says:

    Alex- beautifully written. So eloquently stated, as you always are able to do. Thank you for sharing. Those neices are too beautiful! You are loved! Jon and I can’t wait to see your beautiful face again.

  7. Marilyn says:

    Dear Alex:
    I, too, want to thank you for writing this essay. I have been struggling with understanding the Sandy Hook incident and am a strong proponent of restricting the sale of assault rifles. Your quote of the poem of Wendell Berry touched me greatly. I have several grandchildren in elementary school and I remember when I was in third grade and President Kennedy was shot. I cannot imagine the pain and grief of the entire town and especially the families whose children were killed. I pray that in the New Year something is done to alleviate the uncontrollable use of weapons of mass destruction. I feel that people have the right to protect themselves and to have handguns and shotguns for hunting food. However, only the military should have the equipment needed to protect our country. God bless you and the feelings that you have expressed concerning your love of your students. It is evident that you are a tremendous teacher. Teachers are great people and they do a great job. Thank you again.

  8. Suzanne says:

    This is such a beautiful message from your heart Alex. Your students have all been lucky to have you as a teacher. You have and will profoundly touch many lives. Sorrows like the horrific shooting, and CJ’s need for new livers, and your brother Evan’s early death form us and make us who we are. Keep making sure that these sorrows make your heart get softer with the punches they deliver, rather than hardened and less able to feel and love.

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Rural, Rural, Rural

When I was first contacted about becoming Mary Jane’s Rural Farmgirl, I was living in an apartment, in Anchorage, with a short elevator ride to my car; a car which I rarely used because I could walk to work, walk to the store, walk to a coffee shop, and walk to the park. However, this wasn’t me. The view from our window was of Office Depot, the ambient noise and light from the surrounding city was constant, and our arguing neighbors could be heard way too easily through our too thin walls. Luckily, at the time that MJF contacted me, we were slated to move to Spring Creek Farm in one month’s time.

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  1. Nancy says:

    Rural? Oh, yes! Congratulations from another naturalized farmgirl!

  2. steve says:

    Yes, I do have a pair of dress up black Carharts.
    Indoor work pants.

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