“Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage, Go Together Like a Horse and Carriage….” so sang Frank Sinatra.
I believe in love. I believe in marriage. I believe in horses. And I believe in carriages.
I also believe…that for the first time since I started this blog…..I am too tired to spin a yarn. One of my favorite things to do is to come here every other Monday to share with you guys the things that are happenin’ in my corner of the world. Oh, and I have so much to tell this Monday.
But I’m tired. This Monday morning, lawzie me, am I ever tired! Here’s why. It all started at 4 o’clock on Friday afternoon.
Cathy 
Nancy J 
Shery Jespersen 
Gina 
Debby Carrico 
Tom 
Lily 
Niya 
rebekah 
When my one and only daughter was married two years ago, an important comment/rule I shared was to always think before you say something in anger. Think about how it would feel if she were the one receiving the words in anger and usually it will temper what is said. We say things when angry and ususally it is regretted the moment it reaches the spouses ear.
In two weeks my dh and I have been together for 31 years. What we have discovered over the years can be condensed into two statements. Look forward never back. Meaning that you don’t bring up anything in the past that was a mistake or wrong or hurtful. Start every day anew with the love shared between you. And the second item – THINGS are never more important that people.
I wish them all the best for a wonderful lifetime together.
janiee
farmgirl #390
Give 100% and accept 50% in return.
We’ve been married 22 years now and my husband is so patient as he married a somewhat spoiled girl. One thing I learned was that if I did something hurtful, own up to it and take the responsibility for it and ask forgiveness. It’s not being weak to say you’re sorry. Don’t play the ‘blame game’. We’re in charge of our own actions. That’s probably been the first and foremost important success in our marriage.
I wish them the very best.
P S I wish you’d sent a picture of the silver shoes, ha!
Marriage is not 50/50. Most of the time it is 90/10. Some times you are on the good side-sometimes the other–but you give and do things because the other person is who completes "you". Also-NEVER-NEVER-NEVER go to bed angry–even if you just agree to disagree–deal with it before getting in that bed. Leave little love notes in strange places—even if he doesn’t do it ( it’s kind of a chick thing)–he will appreciate it 🙂
And, last, but not least, thank God EVERY day for your spouse !!!! Good luck & much love, jeannie max
I think the best advice for life comes from the Bible. In regards to any relationship I think
following Philippians 2:3-4 will take you a long way. "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility let each of you esteem others better than yourself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."
After nearly 36 years…laugh ♥ ♥ ♥
Stick with it. Every relationship has ups and downs. Enjoy the ups and get through the downs. Just remember the promise of forever. Stick with it. It’s worked for me!
My comment that when you are mad realize that it’s really about you. Everyone is a mirror to us . When were angry with our spouse it’s our issue- not theres. We need to respond and not react. One thing that has helped me a great deal is an inharmony list. I write down 15 things I don’t like about my husband/ or person I’m mad at and then study those things. How do they reflect on me? Is it really important? Our spouses come to us for a reason We need to respect this and practice gratitude – even when were mad (I’ve been married 15 years and have 4 kids and there are plenty of times things are less then"perfect") It’s better to be kind then to be right.
HiRebecca,I failed at love,so I can,t help you with that,but,I am very concerned about this loosing of your keys.This is a very big serious deal.I lost mine last year.Well, these new cars,new keys are not cheap,I couldn,t find my other key.so I had to call someone 100 miles away,ended up costing me 200 dollors.It was a nightmare.He did the job wrong,and I had to call him back the next day.So,he had to travel again,then he wanted 65 dollors for a second key,What a mess!It is because of the computer chip,and in these small farming towns nobody has had the training on them,and since I had lost the original keys,and had no keys at all,the entire car had to be reprogramed.I was just sick,and never did find the old keys,even if I had of,they were junk now.I learned my lesson.Not only that Rebecca,it is dangerous when your out running.Be careful!Wish I could help you with the love stuff,but,I need someone to help me with the love stuff.Ionly wish,I never would of signed divorce papers,I would have refused to sign,if I had known how lonely I would be divorced,Everyone thinks everyone elses grass is greener,its not.If your married,I sugest staying that way,and seeking counseling.Even if things are awful,it can be saved with work and forgiveness.People don,t work at marriage like our parents did.They need to work at it,and be comitted to agree to work on it constantly.Have a great day,blessed be.Carol Branum,Lamar Mo.themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com
My dh and I have been married for 26 mostly easy years and the one thing we’ve done that has really worked for us is to be conscious of this main rule: ‘Never go for the jugular’. In other words, don’t say something that you know will really hurt and you can’t take back. This works and keeps you from going too far during a fleeting angry moment. You know deep down what those hurtful things are and can stop yourself before they’re said.
I am still single. I have never been married. It’s been really nice to read everyone’s comments 🙂 🙂 🙂 This is all being tucked away for future information 🙂 🙂
I have never lost car keys, thank goodness. I have almost lost my cell phone a couple times. That was pretty scary. Thank goodness for honest Good Samaritans 🙂 🙂
What a beautiful wedding. It looks like the kind we all dream about. I’m not married either, so I don’t have any personal advice. But I look around me alot and pay attention to the couples and friends who are married. My advice is don’t take each other for granted.
Do a budget together! It will cause you to focus on your dreams together. And you will be so totally amazed at what is important to each other. Then you can be supportive of doing the things that each of you enjoy. This will teach you both a little give and take, and mature the relationship into oneness very quickly. And contrary to popular beliefs, it can be exciting seeing the fruit of your labor on paper and give you peace. It will build both security and self-esteem in each of you working together as you build your future.
The thing I tell my boys about relationships and love is this.Never try to fix the person that you are with, if you don’t like them the way they are,no amount of "fixing" is going to work. Respect one another. Always! Learn to fight fair and to agree to disagree. There isn’t any THING worth another person’s affection. And last but not least take time every day to say "I love and appreciate you." to your spouse. I have been married for 20 years now and some of these were hard lessons learned but they have served us well.
Marriages are not made in heaven, but love might be. They are made every day that you bite your tongue and take responsibility for your actions.
After 20 years, I also think that kindness is one of the most important traits in a mate and humor is a necessity.
And lastly, you can be right, or you can be happy. Choose happiness with someone you love. It is always better than being right and being alone.
Good luck to them, it sounds like they are a very solid couple. Thanks for sharing!
What a whirl wind weekend you had! Love those pink sparkling shoes! Reminds me of a nice glass of pink champagne! Hmmmm? Advice for the young married couple eh? If I wast to advise a young couple I would tell them to always try and be patient with each other. I have learned so much from my husband about being patient. We don’t go into a marriage perfect but together we can accomplish amazing things in an ordinary day. Also, save the dramatics for the theatre and leave them out of your misunderstandings. You’ll resolve things a lot faster and you can get back to being a loving couple. Laughter! I’m convinced a sense of humor is what saves most marriages in the end.
Dandelion Wishes and happy first sugar snap peas!
Deb~
Keep your sense of humor and NEVER go to bed mad at each other! Been married 30+ years…has worked for us.
Ok two things first, when I saw those sparkly pink shoes my first thought was barbie and the shoes she wears! I had shoes just like that for my barbies! And second, I cried when I read about them and thier home and their dogs, and him being burned! Thats so sad! I would tell them that they need to build a strong foundation of trust and communication. That is the most important, and that as long as they have God in their marriage that they can make it through anything!
I really have to leave a comment on this one! It’s one of my pet peeves! Marriage works when both people commit to it. Putting the needs of the couple in front of the needs of the individuals. It’s harder to do than it sounds. Their wedding is beautiful and the story about the house and dogs brought a tear to my eye. Good luck and much happiness to them!
Don’t get too busy to make time for intimacy. You will both feel loved and loving and everything in life will go more smoothly.
Make your spouse your best friend. Share everything with him and listen to everything he has to say, even if it’s not interesting to you. The sharing binds you together and helps you understand each other.
I was at a wedding not too long ago where the "ticket" for the dinner at the reception was a piece of advice written on a pretty piece of scrapbook paper. My man wrote down what I thought was amazing advice – "Ask before you take the last piece of pizza." Or as I read it, love your partner and think of his or her needs/ wants/ desires as much as your own. The subtext also read don’t always be too serious. Laugh often.
All I can say is this: stick with it. I once heard someone say their secret to being married so long is that neither fell out of love at the same time. There are ups and downs. I think another person already said that too. Just stick with it. Through thick and thin.
My sweet husband and I have been married 38 years in June. His grandfather gave him this advise when we were married. "Don’t forget how to laugh together." His words have stood the test of time.
We just had our 34th wedding anniversary and I guess the secret to our long years is that we are still best friends. Is is not that we are not irritated with each other many times or that we do not treat each other the way that we always should, however when you’re best friends, you always forgive each other and that is the most important thing and that we love each other unconditionally.
Think of marriage as the beginning and not the final destination! I once read an article with insights on why marriages don’t last today like they used to, and this made so much sense! Lots of couples think of getting married as the end goal of a relationship instead of the beginning.
I must tell you I’ve never been married before. If I didn’t add that I’d feel like a fraud! I do believe that perspective can really effect a relationship for the better or worse, so that is my humble, unmarried opinion.