Love and Marriage

“Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage, Go Together Like a Horse and Carriage….” so sang Frank Sinatra.

I believe in love. I believe in marriage. I believe in horses. And I believe in carriages.

I also believe…that for the first time since I started this blog…..I am too tired to spin a yarn. One of my favorite things to do is to come here every other Monday to share with you guys the things that are happenin’ in my corner of the world. Oh, and I have so much to tell this Monday.

But I’m tired. This Monday morning, lawzie me, am I ever tired! Here’s why. It all started at 4 o’clock on Friday afternoon.

Our weekend started in downtown Atlanta on Friday and ended Sunday evening in my garden.
Let me start with Friday and we’ll just see how far I can get. Keep the coffee coming…
Cinderella and Prince Charming were getting married in Atlanta. And I was honored to be there. Friday was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for what was to be a true fairytale wedding. The wedding venues were dreamy. Famous, historical and fabulous.

The church is the picturesque and historical St. Mark’s Methodist Church, located on the street that cuts through Atlanta, Peachtree Street. Everybody who has been to Atlanta has been on Peachtree. It’s just inevitable.

I snapped this picture in front of the church. It represents the emerging Atlanta well. That big Hummer black limo—Atlanta is still all about glitz and glamour and….
Those bicycle riders. Atlanta is slowly joining the green movement. Slowly but surely.
It’s been so slow to green up, I think, because Atlanta’s streets are not safe. You can’t really walk or bike a whole lot. Especially after dusk. A high crime rate makes it more challenging to be green….
Anyway.
Here are the bride and groom at the Rehearsal.

Can you guess whom I am related to?
Yes, it’s the bride. In the pink glitter high heels!
The rehearsal dinner was at an Atlanta institution, Mary Mac’s Tea Room. Wonderful southern fare, complete with peach cobbler and sweet tea.
After the rehearsal and the dinner, the wedding party stayed at the charming and famous Georgian Terrace Hotel. It is also the site of the wedding reception.

I took a ton of pictures of the hotel, but these two are my favorites.
Here I am leaning WAY over the balcony, looking WAY down on the lobby. That’s a round sofa you see at the very bottom.

Here I am in the lobby, sitting on that sofa, looking up.

Saturday came and Atlanta was filled with rain and thunderstorms. All day long.
It dampened our make-up and clothes and hair. But it didn’t dampen the wedding or the spirit. Love was in the air.
The wedding was perfect. Simply lovely. I keep saying “fairytale” and it truly was that.
The bride looked like a Princess in her gown. It had a long, long beautiful train. And she reminded me of Cinderella with sparkly silver shoes (sorry no pic).
The only thing the weather really dampened was the horse and carriage. It had to be cancelled because of the storms.

Here is the one picture I am in. Yes, in all the 500 or so shots on the camera, I’m in 1, only 1.

There is a reason for that: I avoid the camera. It’s part of my M.O. I duck, dive, turn around, hide behind someone. Whatever it takes.

Luckily, my eyes were open.

Ah, the wedding cake was dreamy and delicious.

It was a simply fabulous affair.
But this is not all about the wedding. It’s also about the love between these two people who tied the knot. They are so sweet and precious.
And so in love.
And so young.
They have been through a lot together already. The groom is a soldier who served in Iraq. His house burned to the ground earlier this year. He was burned as he tried to save their three dogs. He was able to pull one of the pups from the burning house. But, he was burned so badly doing it that he spent the next week or so in the burn unit of the hospital. They were devastated to lose their home and everything in it. But even more devastating was the loss of two of their furry “children.”
Candles were lit at the wedding in their deceased pets’ honor. So sweet. You know that made me cry.
Like I wasn’t already crying. I was.
I’ve thought a lot about what advice to give them. Not that they’ve asked for any. But I thought it would be nice to make a little booklet with pictures and words of wisdon about marriage and love.
What would you tell a young, newly married couple? What have you learned about love and marriage? Please leave a comment or send me an email. I need some help on this!
Okay, let me hurry through the rest of my weekend. My race is May 1st, so I needed to run 3 miles this weekend. I’ve never run 3 miles! Ever.
And goodness, I was so exhausted from the weekend full of wedding activities. But Sunday afternoon after we got back home, I decided that I better at least get out there and try. It was brutal. I did the best I could for 3 miles. I couldn’t wait to get back to the car for some water. And to finally rest. I was so tired. And parched.
I got to the car and that’s when I realized that I didn’t have the key. Oh no! My car key had fallen sometime during that brutal run. So I had to retrace my steps. All of them! Well, no go. No key. So I found a guy who let me borrow his phone. I called my hubby and he came to get me.
Sunday evening came and I had a chance to go to my garden and check things out. I’m happy to report that I’ve got my first sugar snap peas of the season!

Crisp, crunch, sweet yum. The sugar snaps are here! Life is good.

Until next time, Friends, savor the flavor of life!

Lots of love, The City Farmgirl, Rebekah

Leave a comment 27 Comments

  1. Marcia says:

    When my one and only daughter was married two years ago, an important comment/rule I shared was to always think before you say something in anger. Think about how it would feel if she were the one receiving the words in anger and usually it will temper what is said. We say things when angry and ususally it is regretted the moment it reaches the spouses ear.

  2. janie edwards says:

    In two weeks my dh and I have been together for 31 years. What we have discovered over the years can be condensed into two statements. Look forward never back. Meaning that you don’t bring up anything in the past that was a mistake or wrong or hurtful. Start every day anew with the love shared between you. And the second item – THINGS are never more important that people.
    I wish them all the best for a wonderful lifetime together.
    janiee
    farmgirl #390

  3. Tamara says:

    Give 100% and accept 50% in return.

  4. Cathy says:

    We’ve been married 22 years now and my husband is so patient as he married a somewhat spoiled girl. One thing I learned was that if I did something hurtful, own up to it and take the responsibility for it and ask forgiveness. It’s not being weak to say you’re sorry. Don’t play the ‘blame game’. We’re in charge of our own actions. That’s probably been the first and foremost important success in our marriage.
    I wish them the very best.
    P S I wish you’d sent a picture of the silver shoes, ha!

  5. jeannie maximovich says:

    Marriage is not 50/50. Most of the time it is 90/10. Some times you are on the good side-sometimes the other–but you give and do things because the other person is who completes "you". Also-NEVER-NEVER-NEVER go to bed angry–even if you just agree to disagree–deal with it before getting in that bed. Leave little love notes in strange places—even if he doesn’t do it ( it’s kind of a chick thing)–he will appreciate it :)
    And, last, but not least, thank God EVERY day for your spouse !!!! Good luck & much love, jeannie max

  6. Amy says:

    I think the best advice for life comes from the Bible. In regards to any relationship I think
    following Philippians 2:3-4 will take you a long way. "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility let each of you esteem others better than yourself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

  7. kay says:

    After nearly 36 years…laugh ♥ ♥ ♥

  8. Sheri says:

    Stick with it. Every relationship has ups and downs. Enjoy the ups and get through the downs. Just remember the promise of forever. Stick with it. It’s worked for me!

  9. Jane says:

    My comment that when you are mad realize that it’s really about you. Everyone is a mirror to us . When were angry with our spouse it’s our issue- not theres. We need to respond and not react. One thing that has helped me a great deal is an inharmony list. I write down 15 things I don’t like about my husband/ or person I’m mad at and then study those things. How do they reflect on me? Is it really important? Our spouses come to us for a reason We need to respect this and practice gratitude – even when were mad (I’ve been married 15 years and have 4 kids and there are plenty of times things are less then"perfect") It’s better to be kind then to be right.

  10. carol branum says:

    HiRebecca,I failed at love,so I can,t help you with that,but,I am very concerned about this loosing of your keys.This is a very big serious deal.I lost mine last year.Well, these new cars,new keys are not cheap,I couldn,t find my other key.so I had to call someone 100 miles away,ended up costing me 200 dollors.It was a nightmare.He did the job wrong,and I had to call him back the next day.So,he had to travel again,then he wanted 65 dollors for a second key,What a mess!It is because of the computer chip,and in these small farming towns nobody has had the training on them,and since I had lost the original keys,and had no keys at all,the entire car had to be reprogramed.I was just sick,and never did find the old keys,even if I had of,they were junk now.I learned my lesson.Not only that Rebecca,it is dangerous when your out running.Be careful!Wish I could help you with the love stuff,but,I need someone to help me with the love stuff.Ionly wish,I never would of signed divorce papers,I would have refused to sign,if I had known how lonely I would be divorced,Everyone thinks everyone elses grass is greener,its not.If your married,I sugest staying that way,and seeking counseling.Even if things are awful,it can be saved with work and forgiveness.People don,t work at marriage like our parents did.They need to work at it,and be comitted to agree to work on it constantly.Have a great day,blessed be.Carol Branum,Lamar Mo.themofarmersdaughter@blogspot.com

  11. Carol in NC says:

    My dh and I have been married for 26 mostly easy years and the one thing we’ve done that has really worked for us is to be conscious of this main rule: ‘Never go for the jugular’. In other words, don’t say something that you know will really hurt and you can’t take back. This works and keeps you from going too far during a fleeting angry moment. You know deep down what those hurtful things are and can stop yourself before they’re said.

  12. Heather Hansen says:

    I am still single. I have never been married. It’s been really nice to read everyone’s comments :) :) :) This is all being tucked away for future information :) :)
    I have never lost car keys, thank goodness. I have almost lost my cell phone a couple times. That was pretty scary. Thank goodness for honest Good Samaritans :) :)

  13. Jada says:

    What a beautiful wedding. It looks like the kind we all dream about. I’m not married either, so I don’t have any personal advice. But I look around me alot and pay attention to the couples and friends who are married. My advice is don’t take each other for granted.

  14. Reba says:

    Do a budget together! It will cause you to focus on your dreams together. And you will be so totally amazed at what is important to each other. Then you can be supportive of doing the things that each of you enjoy. This will teach you both a little give and take, and mature the relationship into oneness very quickly. And contrary to popular beliefs, it can be exciting seeing the fruit of your labor on paper and give you peace. It will build both security and self-esteem in each of you working together as you build your future.

  15. sue says:

    The thing I tell my boys about relationships and love is this.Never try to fix the person that you are with, if you don’t like them the way they are,no amount of "fixing" is going to work. Respect one another. Always! Learn to fight fair and to agree to disagree. There isn’t any THING worth another person’s affection. And last but not least take time every day to say "I love and appreciate you." to your spouse. I have been married for 20 years now and some of these were hard lessons learned but they have served us well.

  16. valerie says:

    Marriages are not made in heaven, but love might be. They are made every day that you bite your tongue and take responsibility for your actions.

    After 20 years, I also think that kindness is one of the most important traits in a mate and humor is a necessity.

    And lastly, you can be right, or you can be happy. Choose happiness with someone you love. It is always better than being right and being alone.

    Good luck to them, it sounds like they are a very solid couple. Thanks for sharing!

  17. Debbie says:

    What a whirl wind weekend you had! Love those pink sparkling shoes! Reminds me of a nice glass of pink champagne! Hmmmm? Advice for the young married couple eh? If I wast to advise a young couple I would tell them to always try and be patient with each other. I have learned so much from my husband about being patient. We don’t go into a marriage perfect but together we can accomplish amazing things in an ordinary day. Also, save the dramatics for the theatre and leave them out of your misunderstandings. You’ll resolve things a lot faster and you can get back to being a loving couple. Laughter! I’m convinced a sense of humor is what saves most marriages in the end.
    Dandelion Wishes and happy first sugar snap peas!
    Deb~

  18. Debbie Shue says:

    Keep your sense of humor and NEVER go to bed mad at each other! Been married 30+ years…has worked for us.

  19. mckee cox says:

    Ok two things first, when I saw those sparkly pink shoes my first thought was barbie and the shoes she wears! I had shoes just like that for my barbies! And second, I cried when I read about them and thier home and their dogs, and him being burned! Thats so sad! I would tell them that they need to build a strong foundation of trust and communication. That is the most important, and that as long as they have God in their marriage that they can make it through anything!

  20. Mason says:

    I really have to leave a comment on this one! It’s one of my pet peeves! Marriage works when both people commit to it. Putting the needs of the couple in front of the needs of the individuals. It’s harder to do than it sounds. Their wedding is beautiful and the story about the house and dogs brought a tear to my eye. Good luck and much happiness to them!

  21. Don’t get too busy to make time for intimacy. You will both feel loved and loving and everything in life will go more smoothly.

  22. Stephenie says:

    Make your spouse your best friend. Share everything with him and listen to everything he has to say, even if it’s not interesting to you. The sharing binds you together and helps you understand each other.

  23. Amy says:

    I was at a wedding not too long ago where the "ticket" for the dinner at the reception was a piece of advice written on a pretty piece of scrapbook paper. My man wrote down what I thought was amazing advice – "Ask before you take the last piece of pizza." Or as I read it, love your partner and think of his or her needs/ wants/ desires as much as your own. The subtext also read don’t always be too serious. Laugh often.

  24. Dot says:

    All I can say is this: stick with it. I once heard someone say their secret to being married so long is that neither fell out of love at the same time. There are ups and downs. I think another person already said that too. Just stick with it. Through thick and thin.

  25. Deanna says:

    My sweet husband and I have been married 38 years in June. His grandfather gave him this advise when we were married. "Don’t forget how to laugh together." His words have stood the test of time.

  26. Terrye Lenzini says:

    We just had our 34th wedding anniversary and I guess the secret to our long years is that we are still best friends. Is is not that we are not irritated with each other many times or that we do not treat each other the way that we always should, however when you’re best friends, you always forgive each other and that is the most important thing and that we love each other unconditionally.

  27. Abi says:

    Think of marriage as the beginning and not the final destination! I once read an article with insights on why marriages don’t last today like they used to, and this made so much sense! Lots of couples think of getting married as the end goal of a relationship instead of the beginning.

    I must tell you I’ve never been married before. If I didn’t add that I’d feel like a fraud! I do believe that perspective can really effect a relationship for the better or worse, so that is my humble, unmarried opinion.

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