Fall forward? Or fall backward? Or just plain falling?
I just got through cleaning up vomit. I say that straight-faced. That’s how much I’ve changed over the last 10 years. I say that and don’t flinch. I do that and don’t flinch. That’s what being a Mom has done to me. I’m un-flinch-able.
I would have FALLen over and fainted 10 years ago. Now I don’t care in the least about cleaning it up; I care only about the poor child that feels so horrible right now. My child has a 104 fever and is throwing up. Nothing matters other than her getting better.
I vividly remember realizing that things were forever changed. I was sitting in a meeting in a suit. I looked down at my leg and saw wet cheerios stuck to the stockings. I laughed because I never saw myself as a mother. And yet, there I was, cheerios stuck on my $20 pair of hose. I loved it. I had FALLen madly for my child and being her mother. I loved this new way of seeing myself. I loved this change in me. I was soft and snuggly and, and, and….sweet? Yes, sweet. Before that, I was hard and edgy.
Has anything ever changed you like that? Or maybe you’re the same as you’ve always been?
Motherhood did it for me. And FALLing in love. I can’t go on without saying I FALL for my husband every day. Almost 20 years now and still FALLing.
And another thing that changed me is when I started seeing myself as a Farmgirl. I have FALLen BIG TIME for the Farmgirl Movement. I thank MaryJane Butters every day for bringing this to all of us. Allowing us all to come together in sisterhood as we strive to get back to the important things in life.
I discovered MaryJane Butters when I picked up her magazine at the local grocery store. Wham, bam, thank you ‘mam, I felt VALIDATED.
I always enjoyed gardening and learning about older methods and traditions. I always enjoyed creating with my hands. I always enjoyed simplicity and adventure. I was drawn to all things natural and organic. Now I had an actual “movement” to hang my hat on. She provided us with a place to gather, albeit virtually. A place we can share our paths with other people who feel the same.
Farmgirls never fail to empower me. They help me develop and explore that part of me. They refine me.
I remember someone coming to my house to visit one day. He laughed and said, “You ain’t nothing but a country girl.” And I said, “Thank you! You’re sure right about that!” (And just so his meaning won’t get lost in print, let me say that he fully intended it as a compliment. And I fully took it as such.)
“I’m a member of the country club. Country living is what I love.”
I can’t live the country life now and may never be able to do so fully. But I happily incorporate some of those country ideals into my current life. And they enrich me; they make me a better person.
One of my struggles has always been to BE IN the moment. To slow down and appreciate where I am NOW. What I’m doing NOW. Being a Farmgirl has helped me with this.
This past weekend, we had our first freeze warning of the season. This is early for us, and my garden patch was chock-full of tomatoes. So I picked them.
Now what? What to do with more than 20 pounds of green tomatoes?
I fried some. Nothing like Fried Green Tomatoes. Love them!
And then I decided on Green Tomato Marmalade. I combined several different recipes and oh my! It is delicious, Y’all! (I’ll post the recipe at www.rebekahteal.com just in case you’re interested.)
As I made the marmalade, I realized that I had changed about this too. I slowed down and enjoyed it. When I did the Grape Jelly I spent my time thinking—wow! this is A LOT of trouble! Too much! The time involved! Whew! Remember? I was wondering then if the simple life was really simple!
I listened to your wisdom in the comments to that post. I came to understand that yes, the process is a long one. And one needs patience. I slowed down and only chopped. I didn’t chop and think the whole time about everything else I should be doing. I didn’t look at the time it took to make this and think about it in terms of billable hours. I simply looked at the beautiful results. And when I tasted the delicious marmalade, I was pleased.
I’m looking for ideas of what to do with the rest of the Green Tomatoes. Pickles? Relish? Any ideas?
Another part of the Farmgirl Movement for me has been my relationship with the great out-of-doors. Reading about MaryJane and other outdoorsy BRAVE Farmgirls inspired me beyond measure.
Now one of my favorite places in the whole wide world is the woods. I especially like to be alone in the woods. Danged, but if I could get over my phobia of snakes, well, I’d surely have many moments of inspiration and peace there.
I have also become very aware of the seasons and the weather.
I watch birds come and go. My bluebirds showed back up the other day, right before our freeze.
I watch the stars and the phases of the moon. I notice the way the sun hits the earth each day.
I stop to admire the sun come up; or set.
None of those things do I take for granted any more.
And so it happened Saturday night, we all FELL backwards. We set our clocks so that when we woke up on Sunday, it was an hour earlier. We had an extra hour, they told us. What did you do with yours?
I am one of those people who wish they’d leave our clocks alone. My own personal clock doesn’t change. I wake up at the same time. I’m tired at the same time. Doesn’t matter what the illuminated red numbers show on my clock.
Whether the clock or calendar says it is true, FALL is definitely here. You can see it and smell it. Our Autumns in the south are gorgeous. Our hardwoods decorate our landscapes with red, gold and orange. Our Autumn weather, with breezy sunny days and cool, crisp nights often lingers well into January. We build fires for the ambiance, if not for the warmth.
I’m realizing now that I should have warned you of the rambling nature of this post. Just part of my FALL I suppose.
Perhaps I’ve FALLen from Grace? Or fallen for Grace. Here’s our kitty named Grace; she is a cute little thing, but takes a terrible photo. She’s been with us for 13 years and I’ve taken tons of pictures of her and they are all like this. Not so good. Elvis (our cat), may he rest in peace, was her brother…
Anyway, Tell us. What have you FALLen for lately?
Until next time, Friends, savor the flavor of life!
Lots of love, The City Farmgirl, Rebekah